Raphael took a step forward. I put my hand on his forearm.
Anapa rubbed his hands together. “Now we’ll have ourselves a bit of show-and-tell, shall we?”
The floor of the office between him and us turned lighter. Stylized figures formed on its surface.
“Neat, isn’t it?” Anapa grinned. “I got an idea from an old movie. So, listen and watch. Please feel free to sit down if you wish.”
Brown figures came down from the hills toward the blue river.
“That would be the ancient Egyptian cattle herders. The climate changed, and all of their grass fields are drying out, so they have to go back to the Nile. Look at them, they are so sad.”
The figures fell to their knees and started drinking from the Nile. On the other side a second group of figures started throwing rocks at the newcomers.
“Those are the people who had remained in the valley. They don’t want the poor cattle herders there. See, they are all upset.”
One of the figures held up a crooked staff.
A huge triangular head broke the surface of the water. An enormous brown and yellow snake slithered out of the Nile and began to feed on the newcomers.
Anapa leaned forward. “That would Apep. The God of the River. These guys, the ones who stayed in the valley, they worshipped him, so he wouldn’t eat them. He is a nasty bugger.”
The dismembered bodies of the ancient Egyptians fell in the water.
“But what’s this?”
Four figures appeared, shaking swords and spears. One had a hawk head, the second had a cat’s head, the third a jackal’s, and the fourth seemed to be a bizarre cross between a donkey and aardvark.
“That would be Ra, his daughter Bast, me, and Set.”
“I know that myth,” Roman said. “It was Ra who killed him.”
Anapa looked at him in mild outrage. “I’m sorry, were you there? No. Then hush. Of course, myths say that Ra killed him. That’s what you get when you’re a sun god and crops depend on you, my friend. Look, I’ll prove it to you.” An ancient mural appeared on the wall, showing a yellow spotted cat resembling a mountain cat stabbing a snake with a curved blade. “Supposedly this is Ra slaying Apep. Small problem: Ra has a hawk’s head on his shoulders. He doesn’t turn into a cat, except for this one time. Keep that in mind. Now where were we?”
The four figures attacked the serpent, chopping at him with strange curved swords and poking him with spears. The serpent flailed, knocking them aside, and biting at their bodies. Finally the picture-Anubis turned into a huge jackal and bit Apep’s neck, clamping it down. The three other figures rushed him. The snake convulsed, knocking aside everyone except for Bast. The nimble cat jumped over the flailing body and stabbed the serpent in the heart.
“So why do the myths say that Ra killed him?” Roman said.
“Because priests were men and we can’t have the big enemy getting killed by a girl, can we now?” Anapa winked at me. “Holy texts are written by committee, and Ra had more priests. His cult was stronger. He is the sun, the life-giver, while Bast was only the protector of Lower Egypt. She used to be a lioness. Very fierce. By the time the priests were done with her, she’d turned into a domestic kitty cat. Took them a thousand years or so, but they crippled the lion.”
A bright flash of light exploded from Apep’s body, knocking the four figures down.
“Look at us, all knocked out.” Anapa smiled. “Lots of magic is released when you kill a god. Look at me there. See, I only have one fang? It broke off in the snake’s neck. Took me two days to grow a new one.”
The light faded. The four gods still lay prone on the ground. Little figures swarmed Apep, chopping his body to pieces.
“Who are they?” I asked.
“Saii. His priests. They’re trying to save parts of him. That one took a scale. And this one got a vertebrae.”
“Those four are eating the corpse.” Raphael pointed at the four figures on all fours biting Apep’s side.
“They are devouring his flesh, so it will live through them. Nasty business.”
The final person pried Anubis’s fang from Apep’s dead body and the figures ran away.
“Of course, we chased them, but they were crafty,” Anapa said. “They scattered to the four winds, hoping to eventually reunite and resurrect their god.” Anapa clapped his hands. The mural faded. “And that brings us to our current calamity, gentlemen and the lady, of course.”
The god smiled and pointed at Raphael. “You cost me my fang. It was dipped in metal and made to look like a knife, but inside it’s still my tooth with the blood of Apep in it. It was in the vault of that damned ruin and you had to buy it out from under me.” He turned to Roman. “You lost the staff carved from the vertebrae of Apep and his rib. They hid it in a room full of magical artifacts, so their magic would mask its location from me. You found it, took it out, and instead of taking it someplace safe, you practically served it back to them on a silver platter. Your own holy relic. Here is your award for stupidity. Congratulations.”