I have not gone inside my mom’s room since she died. I can’t bring myself to open the door. I know its crazy but with the door closed, I can always pretend like she’s behind it: she is somewhere in her bedroom rereading a Bronte novel and at any minute she’s going to call me because she got to a really good part and wants to read it out loud to me. It’s like with the door closed, she’s still alive.
“Hey, we’re going to be late for first period!” Miku shouts behind the door. Marcus insists I go to school. He doesn’t want me to get behind. We all know that it’s silly but so is recording your dead mom’s favorite show, like she’s coming home to watch it later. I guess denial is the great new drug. And Marcus and I are addicted.
“Miku, come in,” I shout back, as I try in vain to do something with my hair other than a ponytail. I swear if I was given the choice of powers, it would be the power to make my hair look like it came out of a glam mag. The power to take out demons is cool but maintaining perfect hair, that’s real power.
Miku comes into my room and shakes her head at me.
“Your hair looks fine, it’s time to go.”
“I know it’s just…” I sigh and put it in the same old ponytail it’s always been in.
“We need to go, don’t make me get Redd on you,” Miku jokes. It’s great that she can laugh about having Turned, but deep down I know she’s still dealing with a lot of guilt from having murdered someone. If she had forgiven herself all the way, the crimson would be gone from the tips of her wings.
Since Redd has gone back to being Miku, there are still some Angels who fear her. Sometimes they see her and start to tremble. She goes out of her way to be nice to them but the fact is, once you rip some guy’s heart out with your bare hands, it’s hard to make nice.
“Pretty, can I ask you a question?”
“I knew it!” she shouted.
“What?” I ask.
“It was Rio’s turn to come up here and get you, but he said he wanted me to go. I asked him why and he said ‘no reason’ but I swear there was a little smirk in his voice. He read your Wave and he knew you wanted to ask a question that was embarrassing.”
“Well…”
“I’m gonna kill him!” she said to herself.
“Okay, I don’t have to ask,” I said, giving her my best “puppy dog” sad eyes.
“Okay, okay. What is it?”
I perked up and closed the door behind her. Even through we were alone, I felt better knowing we were behind closed doors.
“How do I get Marcus to have sex with me?”
“You’re a girl. He’s a guy. Consider it done.”
“Yeah, I know he wants
to but how do I actually make
him do it?”
“Emmy, we’re going to be late.”
“Pretty, I am going to die in a matter of weeks. I don’t want to leave this world without having made love to Marcus. Please help me; how do I seduce him?”
“Just do what you normally do with guys.”
I avoid her eyes and try to play it cool.
“Oh, okay. Sure. I didn’t know if Angels were different in some way.”
“Marcus is your first boyfriend, isn’t he?”
“Kind of…”
“You have to be confident when you approach him. Don’t do the “Emmy-self-doubt” thing.”
“I don’t have a—” she raises her eyebrows.
“Okay, I won’t do that,” I vow.
“Good. Next you look in his eyes, then slowly lean in like you’re about to kiss him--”
“Wait! I need to take notes,” I announce, as I scour the room in search of pen and paper.
“Damn it!” I shout as my search turns up nothing. I turn my room upside down. Miku calmly takes me over to the bed and sits alongside me.
“You don’t have to write it down. All you need to do is be in control. Be confident. And remember he wants you.”
She suppresses a smile and lets me go over it yet again.
“Okay, if I am confident and all the other stuff you said, I should be able to seduce him.”
“It’s a good bet.”
She smiles and I get my stuff to head out the door. Then a thought occurs to me. It stops me dead in my tracks.
“I don’t have any seduction clothes!”
I run to my closet and begin to pull everything off the hanger. It is exactly as I fear: All my clothes are jeans, sweaters, and cartoon T-shirts.
“You aren’t trying to sleep with him this morning are you?”
“No, but I need to go shopping. I need to look like…her.”
“This is about Ameana,” Miku concludes.