She just nodded like she didn't believe me, and then fell awkwardly silent.
My security detail hadn't changed, rather it had been reconfigured so that Johnny was the furthest from me at all times. I found this both ridiculous and a bit of a relief, since he'd hardly endeared himself to me on our short acquaintance.
We took a limo, Williams and Johnny sitting up front, and Blake and Henry taking seats with me in the spacious cabin of the car. We arrived at the hotel early, waiting at the curb, no one saying a word. I watched the building carefully for James.
When I spotted his beautiful suit-clad figure emerging briskly from the front entrance of the hotel, my heart did a mean little flip in my chest.
People stopped and stared even in the short time it took him to pass quickly from the building to the car. He was just so arresting, so impossibly stunning. It had to be a shock just to see a vision like that on the street. He certainly had my attention.
He was in the cab beside me in a flash and his eyes were so soft when they fell on me that I felt like I was melting as I looked at him. His face had changed so drastically at just the sight of me that I felt like my heart had warmed in my chest.
He gripped a hand into my hair, leaning close to me, obviously conscious of the fact that we weren't alone. He kissed my cheek. "God, did I miss you, Love. Is thirty too young to retire from working? I'd love to just make love to you full-time, instead." He spoke softly, and by the last sentence, his voice was only a whisper into my ear.
I smiled at him, gripping a hand over his in my hair, pulling that hand to my face, and kissing his palm softly. "You're thirty?" I asked him, surprised. I'd just always assumed he was younger. I would have sworn I'd heard that he was in his twenties. And he didn't look thirty to me, though it wasn't as though he acted young. He did carry the heavy weight of countless responsibilities with unconscious ease on those elegant shoulders.
He nodded, those soft, tarnished eyes smiling at me. "Just had a birthday a few weeks ago. You thought I was younger?"
I nodded, unable to deny it. But I was suddenly distracted by what he'd said, and what it meant. "I missed your birthday?" I asked, feeling just awful with guilt.
He bit his lip, and for some reason it made me want to cry. He seemed worlds more vulnerable suddenly. "Yes. That was a rough couple of days, though you did text me on my birthday, and that helped."
I was horrified as a tear slipped down my cheek, but I couldn't seem to help it. "I didn't know," I whispered, leaning close. "I feel terrible. How can I make it up to you?"
He traced that tear down my face with a sad smile on his. "Don't miss another one. Not ever. That would more than make up for it."
I shook my head. "I wouldn't know what to get you-what you would want, but I have to do something for you."
He grinned suddenly, his pretty mouth wicked but his eyes still so tender. "There's a picture I want you to paint for me. That would be a wonderful gift. But that won't cancel out the other thing I mentioned. You don't get to miss any more of my birthdays."
I nodded, agreeing with him, even knowing that it was insane.
His brows shot up in genuine surprise. "Just like that, you agree? You understand that I'm asking for a long-term commitment from you when I say that?"
I nodded again, and his eyes went wild for the barest second before they became shuttered and he buried his face in my neck. I understood his actions perfectly. I wouldn't want anyone to see me in such a raw moment, either.
"You mean it?" he whispered.
I was a little shocked at his shock. I had already agreed to live with him, after all. I wanted right then to tell him that I loved him, to reassure him, to express myself with more freedom, but the four other people in the car made me hold my tongue about the deepest of what I wanted to say.
"I do mean it, James. I want so much for this to last-for us to stay together. I'm desperate for it." My voice was the barest whisper as I spoke into his ear.
He clutched me to him tightly, his mouth at my ear. "I'm desperate for it too. I'm willing to fight for it, Bianca, willing to fight for us, because it will be a fight sometimes. The life I lead can be overwhelming, and the press can be relentless. Can you swear that no matter what they throw at us, you'll stay at my side?"
I tensed at his words, suddenly apprehensive that he was referring to some undefined threat in the future, something worse than anything we'd been through before. I didn't know if it was my imagination-if I was just so used to expecting the worst, or if I could read a strange thread of fear in his voice, but I was suddenly filled with my own fear.