Grounded (Up in the Air #3)(20)

       
         
       
        

She looked down at her hands, and I knew that the story was about to take a turn for the worse. "When I was eighteen I seduced him. I was completely ruthless about it. I told him that if he didn't take my virginity, and make it good for me, that I'd give it up to some drunk frat boy, and probably hate sex for life after that, and probably get an STD."

I stifled a laugh, because it was such an outrageous thing to do.

She didn't take offense. "Oh, yeah, I guilted him into it. There's no other way to look at it. After that, I had to leave. I thought that sex would change everything for us, and it did. It ruined everything. I was in deeper than ever after that, and he saw me as a kid sister. He was still in love with his ex-girlfriend. He got back together with her the day after we were together. I overheard what he told her about me. He said I was a family friend with an inconvenient infatuation. He wasn't wrong, but it still broke my heart. I left that day. God, I miss that rock."

I studied her. I had a hard time believing that he'd only had sex with her out of pity. "He must have wanted you if he took you up on your offer. I'm no expert, but I don't think men have sex with women they don't want. And men always want women who look like you."

She shrugged. "None of it matters now. It's all in the past. I like being alone. Romantic entanglements just don't interest me. I'm content with work. I keep busy."

"You're still in love with him," I said, certain I was right.

She shrugged. "I can't help it, other than to try to think about it as seldom as possible. Last I heard, he was engaged to his high school sweetheart."

"You need to go back to Maui. You still think of it as home. Even if it's just to get closure, you should go visit. How many years has it been since you left?"

"Eight." She shrugged again. "Maybe I will, sometime. I do miss it. Your turn. Tell me about you and James."

I glanced around, making sure we had privacy. I leaned towards her. "He's into BDSM. Well, we are into it, actually."

She smiled wryly, not looking in the least surprised.

"You knew?"

"Not firsthand, but Jules tried to tell me about that once, when she thought he and I were dating. She was trying to scare me off. Have you noticed that all of the really pretty men always have a thing? Women are just too easy for them, I think, so they always seem to develop … quirks, yanno?"

I laughed, because I loved her take on it, and the fact that it didn't faze her a bit. "No, I don't know. I only know James, and he and I share … quirks."

She shrugged. "I have a thing for giant Hawaiian men who look like ripped pro-wrestlers, and are covered in tattoos." 

"Men? So this is a pattern for you?" I asked, genuinely curious.

She wrinkled her nose, those violet eyes sparkling. "Just Akira."

She looked at something behind my shoulder. "Oh, lord, here comes Jackie." She caught my expression. "You don't like her?"

I gave my little shrug. "Not so far."

Lana waved an elegant hand towards the woman. "It's a fact that she's more than half-crazy. Did you know that she actually thinks that shopping is a legitimate job? But she's very funny when you get to know her. She's just rough around the edges, that's all."

I would have taken nice over funny any day, but I held my tongue.

Jackie approached us with her no-nonsense little walk, wearing smartly tailored, cuffed shorts, and an almost severely modest collared shirt. The whole ensemble was pea-green, a color that worked with her complexion, but that I didn't think would work for many. Her cute legs, and her nude stilettos with red soles, kept the outfit from being too conservative.

Jackie was looking at my lap as though I had something disgusting growing there.

I looked down at the cream bag she had picked out the day before.

"Twice in a row with the same bag, Bianca? You have a closet full of bags! Are you trying to embarrass me?"

Lana tutted at her rather affectionately. "Looks like you're doing that all on your own, Jackie. Chill out. It's a bag. A lovely bag. Go away if you aren't here to be nice."

Jackie looked surprised but not at all offended. "You aren't going to invite me to join you for lunch?"

Lana shook her head. "Nope. What are you up to?"

Jackie shrugged. "I come here all the time. It's a good place to be seen. I wanted to discuss some things with Bianca."

"Nope. Are you stalking her?"

"Noooo. I just need a minute."

"Then make an appointment," Lana said with a sweet smile.