I was almost too afraid to ask. “What happened to them?”
“Well now, Roxy is still there. But we haven’t seen Kim in ages. Jethro was going to offer marriage to one of them a few years back, Roxy I think, just to get her out of the club. But Drew counseled him against it, meaning he talked sense into Jet. And these women aren’t the only ones he brought into the Iron Wraiths, but they’re the only ones that stayed. Suzie Samuels for instance. Once she figured out Jethro was stringing her along, she set fire to his motorcycle. She hates his guts and spews obscenities at him every time their paths cross. That’s the way most of them went—the Tanner twins, Suzie Samuels, Gretchen LaRoe to name a few. He’s got a pack of females in these parts who hate his guts and would happily speak to your news people about how terrible a person he is.”
“Oh my goodness. Why doesn’t he leave?”
“I suppose he feels he deserves it, after how he mistreated them and all he’s done.”
Hearing names paired with Jethro’s misdeeds made his past feel more real. The names gave weight to his guilt as well as his concern about hurting my image.
Even so, he wasn’t the same person. He’d proved that. Five years of living a different life, making good decisions, and being honorable was proof enough for me.
“I don’t know what to do,” I admitted. “Tell me what to do, Cletus.”
“It’s simple. Tell the world you’re together and deal with the consequences. End of story.”
I frowned at my tea. “And take away Jethro’s privacy? Throw him to the wolves? Give these women a stage for their scorn?”
“Yes. If that’s the price of being with you, I know he’ll gladly pay it. You’re acting like Jethro is some delicate flower. That man feels remorse for his wrongs, but he’s not hiding from his sins. He’s more concerned about what this’ll do to your image.”
“I don’t care about that. I honestly don’t. If I had to choose between being an actress and Jethro, I’d chose him each time.”
“You don’t care about being an actress? A celebrity?”
“No. I mean, I like that the work I’ve done, the work I’m doing, might pave the way for others like me. Women in film who don’t all look one particular way. If I’ve given hope to one little girl who thinks she has weight issues or brown skin or an odd sense of humor that—yes, you can be successful and no, there is nothing wrong with being different. Being different should be an asset. I like that I might have contributed to changing the perception that women aren’t funny. I like acting, performing. Worst-case scenario—and keeping it real here—having Jethro in my life might knock me off this ridiculous pedestal, but it’s not going to get me blacklisted. I can still perform. It might not be in A-list, big-budget movies. I might not be America’s sweetheart, but screw that. Please believe me when I tell you being with him, sharing my life with him, means more to me than being any level of celebrity.”
Cletus set his tea on the table between us with a thunk. “He doesn’t care about his privacy. You don’t care about your image. So why not just trust each other and move on?”
“It’s not that simple.”
“It’s as simple as dry toast.”
“You’re encouraging me to knowingly hurt him.”
Cletus grunted impatiently and threw his hands up. “We’re talking in circles. Here’s reality: People get hurt and they move on or they don’t. You can’t have it both ways. You either get to be famous, and deal with the hassle that comes with it, or you leave it all behind. Own your shit, Sienna. And let Jethro own his. And then get married and own that shit together.”
Cletus stood, clearly frustrated, and stomped away from me to the back door. He disappeared into the house only to appear three seconds later to add, “And while you’re at it, beget me some nieces and nephews.”
Own your shit. And let Jethro own his.
2:25 a.m.
I was exhausted.
I couldn’t sleep.
Cletus’s words from earlier in the day were bouncing around, commandeering my thoughts. He was right. He was very, very right. My job meant that privacy was a luxury, but so what? Either I was going to live my life alone, avoid relationships, give in to the fear of hurting the people I cared about, or I was going to own my shit.
So . . . where did that leave Jethro and me? I wasn’t going to jump unless he was with me. I couldn’t make this decision for both of us.
I glanced at the photo of us on my phone, the one I’d taken of us kissing. Just then, I received a text and my heart jumped to my throat.