'Don't!' Of course she had heard of men being used as sperm donors-usually with their full permission-but doing such a thing herself had never occurred to her. 'I could never be so cold-blooded.' And when Quinn made a sound of contempt, she exclaimed, 'I love you, Quinn! How is that using you?'
'You love me?'
The tone of his voice chilled her to the bone. 'Yes, I do.'
'Then your idea of love and mine are poles apart. To me, love means trust-sharing.'
'I love you and our baby.'
'Words come easily to you, Magenta.'
She exhaled in a rush, shock hitting her in the chest like a punch.
'Let me replay this for you,' Quinn said in a chillingly calm voice. 'You come into my office and announce that you're pregnant-then you barely draw breath before telling me that you don't want anything from me. How convinced would you be of my integrity if the tables were turned, Magenta? What gives you the right to make the rules?'
She didn't want to fight, but she was in no position to make promises of any kind when she inhabited a parallel universe. And, even supposing she could revisit this world in her dreams, would a hook-up on some cosmic interchange ever be enough for them? It was hardly a sound foundation for a family.
'Good to see you're ready with your answer,' Quinn snarled.
She blocked his path to the door. 'Please don't walk out on me, Quinn.'
'Don't lie to me.'
'I have never lied to you.'
'Then open up, Magenta!' Quinn roared this as he seized her arms. For a moment she thought he was going to shake her, but instead he loosened his grip and whipped his hands away, murmuring furiously, 'What's happening to me?'
You too? she felt like saying. But if Quinn was also a visitor to this strange dimension it really would be too much to take in.
Exhaling heavily, Quinn turned away, and he remained aloof from her for a long while. When he finally turned back to face her, he was calm again. 'Forgive me,' he said levelly.
'There's nothing to forgive.'
'Shock, surprise-the force of my feelings. Whatever the excuse, I shouldn't have lost it like that.'
'We're both on a steep learning-curve here.'
'And I like to think I have all things covered.'
'But not babies?' Magenta suggested softly.
'Not babies,' Quinn agreed, giving her an assessing stare. 'Are you going to be all right?'
'Of course I am. I'm going to be a mother.' She couldn't keep the joy out of her voice. Just saying the words made her feel privileged, happy-ecstatic. The difficulties could be overcome, would be overcome.
Sensing her inner strength and determination, Quinn shrugged. 'Looks like you've got it all in hand.'
Magenta smiled. 'There still room for a father in the picture-if he wants to be included, that is. I can understand this has come as a shock to you.'
'To put it mildly,' Quinn agreed.
'And I'm sorry if you think I've been keeping things from you.'
'Aren't women supposed to be enigmas?'
'Like the sphynx?'
'Like Magenta Steele,' Quinn said, eyeing her keenly. 'You're definitely a one-off.' He shook his head. 'No one could deny that.'
She smiled at him a little hesitantly. With the bounce of joy when they talked about their baby came the dread of separation. And now Quinn had just made that worse by caring so much.
'Whatever you want to do, I'll be here for you, Magenta.'
Quinn couldn't know how poignant a statement that was. And I'll always love you, Magenta thought, staring deep into his eyes. If she could only bind this moment and keep it just the way it was for ever.
'You're sure you want this baby?'
'Absolutely sure,' she confirmed.
'Good.' Quinn stared at her for a moment, and then he drew her close. 'Now all you have to do is tell me what you're hiding from me, Magenta.'
He knew her too well. She might have known he would ask, and what could she tell him? If she told Quinn the truth he'd think her mad-and, worse, he'd think her incapable of looking after their child. 'Can't we just have now?'
'Now?' Quinn pulled back to stare at her with eyes that were shadowed with as many secrets as her own. 'What is "now", Magenta? This breath? This day? This dream we call life?'
She could feel him pulling away from her, feel the distance growing between them as surely as if Quinn had removed his hands from her back and his breath from her face. She wished she could find the words to heal the broken bond between them, but there were no words. Now Quinn was walking away from her, closing himself off in every way there was.
But then he stopped and turned. 'We have to make this work,' he said. 'I'm not sure how we're going to do that yet, but I'll find a way.'
The breath caught in her throat. She knew she should be happy, and she would have been if she hadn't known theirs was a problem Quinn couldn't seize hold of and fix.
'Don't look at me like that,' he said, sensing her concern. 'This won't come together unless you believe in me.'
Quinn was a warrior who refused to accept defeat, and for one crazy moment it occurred to Magenta that he might be wrestling the same mysterious forces that she was. That was too much for her bruised and battered brain to take in. But he did seem to be staring past her to some place she couldn't see, and she let out a relieved breath when his storm-dark eyes focused on her face again. 'You don't have to be part of this, Quinn.'
'I'm determined to be.' A faint smile touched the corner of his mouth. 'Who'd have thought?'
Yes, who'd have thought? But she could no more plan for a future with Quinn than she could wake up. And how long could she keep up this deception? Could she lie to the father of her child? 'Quinn, there's something I must tell you.'
'Not now, Magenta. I know you're worried about the future and I can understand why. I know you want me to tell you where this will lead, but truthfully I don't know.'
How could he know when she was nothing more than a sham, an illusion, a figment of her own imagination? 'This isn't what you think.'
'You're pregnant with my baby. How different can it be?'
You have no idea, Magenta thought.
'Unless it's not my baby?'
Quinn's stare frightened her. 'Don't say that.' She couldn't bear to see the doubt in his eyes.
'Is this my baby? It's a simple question. Is the child you're carrying mine, Magenta?'
The air between them was suddenly charged with fury and passion, but she stared into Quinn's gaze without flinching. 'Yes, I'm carrying your baby. And realising that was a shock to me to begin with,' Magenta admitted. 'But now I can only think of my pregnancy as an unexpected blessing.'
Quinn stared at her in silence and then he said, 'You are the mother of my child, and as such I will always protect you.'
'I can look after myself, Quinn.'
'You won't have to. You're not alone.'
For that she was grateful. Becoming a single mother in a world she understood was one thing, but here?
'You should be smiling, Magenta.' Quinn said, sensing her doubt. 'This is a happy day, isn't it?'
'Of course.' And now she felt guilty. She didn't deserve this man, and she certainly didn't deserve the gift of a child. 'Quinn … ' She didn't know where to start, but she had to tell him. She had never imagined Quinn would be so deeply loyal or so complex. She had underestimated him in so many ways, but he was right to say today was precious. She wanted nothing more than what she had here and now. Surely it was a small thing in the scale of the cosmos to be with the man she loved so they could bring up their baby together? To make a home for it surrounded by love? Knowing that it was an impossible dream was killing her.
'Why so serious?' Quinn demanded.
The last thing she wanted was to add to his suspicions by allowing a moment to pass, and then another, when she could have told him-when she should have told him. It was getting to the stage where she wished for his sake that she could just close her eyes and wake up in a world she could make sense of.
Misreading the signs, Quinn embraced her, and the moment when she might have told him passed. This was what she wanted more than anything-to be with Quinn-and it was the one thing she couldn't have.
She clung to him in desperation and when he released her she saw a different expression in his eyes. It was an expression she knew, an expression her body responded to immediately.
Quinn's lips curved. He was an unrepentant hunter; he was hungry and so he ate. 'You're the mother of my child.' He stared her in the eyes. 'And you just reminded me why … '
'Quinn … ' She was already responding.
Quinn was aroused, hugely aroused. This was a private joke between them-that she barely had to look at him to provoke this response. She had to be careful about looking at him in public, Quinn had warned her with amusement when they'd been dancing in a club. 'Have you no shame?' she asked him now, already working on his clothes.