Her throat tightened with emotion. That was it. Pretty much exactly it. And then add in the constant pressure from her dad, and it had been so much easier to just go with the flow than swim against the current.
They had walked out onto the wharf and he stopped halfway to the end. Gripping the railing, he stared out over the water.
She didn’t speak, because she knew he needed to unload. Needed to tell his side of things and where he was at now.
Again, he fell into silence, though. She traced her fingers over the ridges in the wooden railing and turned her gaze to the water as well.
The moon had risen and reflected in a shimmery opalescent circle on the water.
“Here’s the thing.” He sighed, and she heard the heaviness in it. “I can’t walk away from Emily now that I know of her existence. No matter how unfit you may think I am as a father, it doesn’t change that fact that I’m Emily’s dad.”
Her heart quickened and she took tiny breaths in. She’d half expected it, but hearing him saying the words aloud, so casually almost, was almost surreal.
Surely at any moment she’d wake up and find it had all been a crazy dream.
But, no. This was happening.
He turned slightly to face her and she did the same, until they were just inches apart and their gazes met and held.
“I want to be part of her life. And I want you to tell her exactly who I am.”
She couldn’t reply. Couldn’t seem to focus on anything except the rushing in her ears.
He wanted to be in her life. How much of a part?
“I don’t…how do we even…” She shook her head. “We live in Virginia.”
“Aye. You do. But it’s summer, Emily’s out of school, and you have a house here that you’ve just inherited.”
She blinked, shock sliding through her. “Are you asking me to move back to the island?”
“No. Well perhaps consider it in the future. Right now, all I’m asking is that you stay through the summer. Give me a chance to get to know my daughter.”
Stay through summer. Her head spun with the idea. It wasn’t impossible. In fact, it was a downright reasonable request. A little nerve wracking, but reasonable.
“Okay, we can do that. And I agree that we should probably tell Emily you’re her dad, but how do you think we should go about it?”
How did you introduce your child to the father she’d never met?
“Did she ever ask about me? About who her real father was?”
“Occasionally, yes. When she was younger I just told her that you lived in another state and just weren’t a part of our lives. It seemed to be enough.”
“And as she grew older?”
“Well, then it wasn’t enough. She wanted to know who you were and why you weren’t around.”
She winced at the sharp breath he drew in, and then the string of soft curses he dropped.
“And what did you say then?”
“I said I would tell her the whole story when she was old enough to understand. And then I’d change the topic.” She let out a humorless laugh. “I got great at diverting conversations.”
“I bet.”
Ouch.
“Sorry. I’m trying. Trying to let go of the anger, but it’s going to come out now and then.” He turned to look out over the water again. He thrust a hand through his hair and shook his head. “I just don’t want to wait to tell her. She’s gone ten years without knowing who her father is, and I’d rather not waste any more time dancing around it.”
Her heart started thumping double time, as the scene of how that would go down played in her head. Just the idea of doing it made her stomach hurt.
“Look, my family is heading out to the Highland Games tomorrow in Bellingham. Why don’t you bring Emily and come have some fun. She can meet everyone, watch us do our thing and then we’ll spend some time together.”
“And then?”
“Then we’ll see how it goes. If the moment feels right, we’ll tell her.”
The Highland Games. Of course Ian would be going. The McLaughlins traveled to all the somewhat local ones—even some non-local ones. And the family had always been incredibly popular at them. There was even a fan base of young girls that followed the brothers around.
“Okay,” she agreed, because what else could she say? “And at the end of the summer? What then?”
Why had she just asked that? Was she insane? She couldn’t even imagine tomorrow, let alone two months from now.
But when she risked another glance at Ian, she found him watching her again. This time his expression had changed, become more considering. As if he’d just thought of something.
Which made her wonder if he was getting any crazy ideas in his head.