“A child should be with her mother,” Ana said firmly. “We were making plans to come out even before you called and asked for the money. Emily wasn’t happy in Virginia.”
“Yes, well sometimes she’s not happy being forced to bathe either. You know how children work, you have two of them.” She laughed softly, but it was without humor. “And then you left Ian alone with Emily today. You had to know what would happen then. That girl is a chatterbox. She probably gave him enough clues to put it together within five minutes.”
“Yes, that was about how long it took,” Mom agreed. “I was only in the house for maybe seven minutes total. And when I came out and saw the shock on his face, well, I knew he’d figured it out. And of course then I realized how badly I’d screwed up.”
“You did. You really, really did. I made the deliberate choice to leave her with you in Virginia to avoid this happening. This is pretty much my worst nightmare.”
Ana was silent for a moment, seeming lost in thought. “Is he really so bad? Ian?”
How could she even answer that? Her mother had seen the same printout Sarah had that day when her father had shown them.
“He has a felony on record, remember?”
“I remember. Assault, wasn’t it?”
“Second degree.”
“Hmm. That’s bad?”
“Well, I’m hardly a legal expert, but from what I understand only first degree is worse.”
“Hmm.” Ana sighed and stretched her legs out on the couch. “I always liked Ian. No matter that your father didn’t.”
Sometimes her mom was a hopeless romantic. “He broke my heart, Mom. I found him in bed with another girl. You have no idea how badly—”
“It hurts? I do. Your father wasn’t perfect. No man is.”
A beat went by as Sarah tried to process what her mom was saying. Had her father had an affair? The idea made her stomach roil.
“He was a sailor. He was gone a lot,” her mom continued. “And one time the temptation was too much for him.” Their gazes locked. “But I loved him enough to stay. To make it work. Because he loved us, and there wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do to protect us.”
Sarah shook her head. “Dad had an affair? When was this?”
“When you were around seven, and your sister had only just been born.”
“I never knew.”
Ana smiled faintly. “He never wanted you to. Once I forgave him, we agreed to never talk about it. We would never pass that stress or grief on to you girls. It was our burden.”
“Well, you both carried it well. I didn’t have a clue.”
It was almost too hard to believe that her dad had been unfaithful. And yet, at the same time, it wasn’t. Sarah had known he wasn’t perfect. She’d hated the way he’d treated Ian and could be so hard-headed and stubborn when he deemed himself right. But he’d been her dad. Protective and loving and she hated thinking bad of him. And in the end, he’d been right about Ian, hadn’t he?
“I didn’t tell you this to taint your father’s memory, Sarah. I only thought it might help you understand that sometimes love is worth fighting for.”
“You sure didn’t seem to feel this way at the time when Ian and I split up.”
“No, you’re right I didn’t,” Ana agreed. “At the time you were so young. Not even eighteen. I thought it was puppy love that would quickly fade. Harmless.”
Never had Sarah ever once written off what had been between her and Ian as puppy love. They’d been young, yes. Probably even naïve. But their love had been all too real.
“When you talk about each other, I see it.” Her mom’s expression turned pensive. “When he would mention you, or you him, it’s there. That sparkle of someone who’s in love.”
That sparkle isn’t love, Mom. Just the remains of two people who’ve recently gotten their rocks off with each other. Sarah bit the inside of her cheek so she wouldn’t say the words aloud. Even if they were on the tip of her tongue.
Instead, she murmured, “I don’t think it’s love, Mom. Besides, that boat has sailed.”
“Then you swim out to it.”
Her heart skipped a beat at the intensity of her mother’s statement. The connotation behind it.
Swim out to it.
There was so much bitter history between them, creating a strong riptide that would make it pretty damn hard to reach that boat. Even if she wanted to.
And right now, she didn’t know what she wanted anymore.
“I know love. And I think you two have a chance.”
Before Sarah could reply, there was the soft padding of footsteps.