The next thing he knew someone was calling his name.
“Ian?”
The voice, soft and hesitant, pulled him from the dark void. Ian struggled to open his eyes, and when his lids finally opened, he was blinded by the sunlight pouring into the room.
“Ian?” The questioning, female voice grew closer.
He struggled to sit up, realized the weight of something was weighing him down. Or someone.
Shock slammed through him as he became aware of the soft body curled up next to his. Naked—just as naked as he was. And the woman wasn’t Sarah, but one of her best friends.
No. Shite, no this wasn’t happening.
“Are you in here?” There was a soft knock on the door.
“Wait,” he rasped, trying to ease away from Hailey.
But the door twisted open and Sarah’s head ducked inside.
“There you—” The color leeched from Sarah’s face as she took in the scene.
“Sarah, wait.”
“Oh my God.” Her voice rose now.
“It’s not—”
“What it looks like? How can it not be?” she choked out, eyes wide with horror and tears. “And is that Hailey?”
Hailey, who’d been out for the count, stirred at the sound of her name. And then quickly came awake and sat upright.
The sheet fell from her, exposing a breast and slamming another nail into the coffin of guilt against him.
She’d climbed into bed with him. Had been all over him. That much he remembered. After that, not so much.
This wasn’t happening. How could he have been so stupid? How could he have fallen back into the selfish, uncaring bastard that he’d been before Sarah?
“Sarah,” he muttered thickly, not even sure what he could say. “I love you. You’ve got to know—”
“That you’re a horrible, horrible person?” she ground out, silent tears running down her face. “Yes, I can see that. I think I always knew it, but got caught up in whatever illusion you were projecting to get me into bed. To think I mistook lust for love.”
Ian shoved himself out of bed, not giving a damn about nudity anymore. “You know that’s never how it was.”
“Apparently, what I thought I knew was all crap. You’re exactly like my dad always said. Worthless. I’m only sorry it took something like this to make me realize it.”
He caught her arm when she tried to run, swinging her back into the room. Her fists plowed into his shoulders and she let out a sob.
“You don’t mean that, doll.”
“Don’t doll me. It’s a good thing you’re great in bed, Ian, because that’s about all you’ve got going for you in life. Good luck turning screwing into a career.”
From the bed, Hailey made a small gasp of dismay, but Ian couldn’t think about her now. Could only think of how he could possibly calm Sarah down. Help her understand…but, fuck, understand what? He couldn’t even understand why he’d done what he’d done. Why he’d throw away everything to sleep with another chick he wasn’t even attracted to.
“Sarah, take a breath. We can talk rationally when you’ve calmed down.”
“Don’t even try and placate me. You’re a pathetic excuse for a human.” She was in a full on rage now. Crying and trembling, struggling to free her wrist from his grip. “You know what? I’m surprised you even made it through high school, but you’re never going to get anywhere in life.”
Ouch. Holy hell, but that had hurt. Everything she was saying hurt.
“Aye?” He nodded slowly. “That’s how you’ve always felt, isn’t it?”
She lifted her chin. “Pretty much, I just spent too long trying to tell myself you’d change.”
With a sheet wrapped around her, Hailey approached the two of them. “Sarah, please. I know you’re upset, but—”
“There is no ‘but’ that could possibly excuse this.” Sarah turned her fury, her pain on the other woman. “You’re one of my best friends. Or you were until you slept with my boyfriend.”
“I’m so sorry,” Hailey whispered, and there was genuine regret in her voice. Tears.
“Save it for someone who cares, because from this point on I don’t.” Sarah jerked away from Ian, stumbling toward the door.
“Don’t leave like this.”
She shook her head, but hesitated at the door. “There will never be anyone more important in your life than you. You’re a selfish asshole. You’re nothing, Ian, and will always be nothing. To me and to everyone else.”
He couldn’t even move now, couldn’t bring himself to try and argue. The desperation and despondency had begun to fade, and the hardened part of him that was damned good at surviving rose to the surface.