“Shh. Don’t say that shit, Ava,” I whisper in her ear, and she starts fighting my hold on her. I fucking hate it. I hate her fighting me. She never has before. Not once. She struggles in my arms, and it fucking destroys me.
I let her go to try to calm her down. I’m not helping this situation. And I fucking need to figure it out fast.
“I’m not the woman you think I am, Kane,” she finally says in a calmer voice than I expected. It’s a voice with resolve. I shake my head as as an uneasy feeling settles in my gut.
She tried to kill herself to get away from me.
“I thought you wanted to be with me,” I say. I know she did. I gave her a chance to go. She said this was real for her, too.
“You’ll never love me.” She whispers her words.
I shake my head and hold onto her hips, forcing her closer to me. “I love you, Ava.” I search her eyes for a reaction, but there’s nothing. “Is that what you need to hear, baby? I love you so fucking much. I’m so damn proud to have you as my girl. I’ll make you my wife.” Tears prick at my eyes. I almost bought a ring to go with those earrings. The only thing holding me back was I wasn’t sure what design she would have liked. I’m so fucking ready to have it all with her.
But I can see it in her face that she’s leaving me.
Her mind is already made up.
“I can’t be with you. If you love me, you’ll let me go.” My heart sinks in my chest as I watch tears stream down her face. “I can’t be with anyone right now.” She heaves in a breath and wipes her eyes, smearing her mascara. Her tear-stained cheeks and wide, glassy eyes only make her more beautiful. Everything in me pushes me to comfort her. I know she needs me. If only she’d let me help her.
I take a step forward to pull her into my arms and calm her down. She’s just worked up over something. This is all a mistake.
But she steps back.
She pulls out of my arms.
I stare at her with disbelief as she wipes away her tears and bends down to pick up her clutch.
“I’m sorry, Kane,” she whispers, and then sobs into her hands.
She’s leaving me.
She doesn’t love me. It doesn’t stop me from pulling her into my arms and rocking her. I try my best to soothe her. This time she lets me, but I know as soon as I let go, she’s not going to be mine anymore.
Kane
It’s fucking silent in the car. Vince is next to me and he doesn’t like what I’m asking him to do. He’s either going to help me, or I’m doing it on my own.
“What do you mean, ‘for her’?” he asks with what seems like disbelief. I haven’t told anyone. Last night I made her stay with me. No fucking way was I going to let her go in the state she was in. I took off with her and didn’t leave her alone till just now. No one else knows and I want to keep it that way, but I know it’s going to get out.
“I mean, I need you to set her up with a place and a job.”
“You have a place.” He looks at me dumbfounded.
“I mean for her. Without me.” It fucking kills me to say the words. My heart hardens and my eyes narrow. I speak clearly and look him dead in the eyes. “I need eyes on her, Vince. She needs space, but that’s all she’s getting.”
“She’s leaving you?” he asks, and I want to knock him the fuck out. She thinks she’s leaving me. And I’ll let her think that until she’s feeling better.
Doubt creeps in on me. I’m the one who made her kill Felipe. I brought her to that massacre. Even worse. My stomach churns with sickness. I took advantage of her. I never should’ve touched her when she was so vulnerable.
I’d take it all back if I could. I fucking wish I could.
I don’t answer his question. I refuse to believe she’s really leaving me. “I need cameras in there, Vince.”
“Are you out of your fucking mind?” Vince asks, with his anger coming right through. I know I need to tell him, but I don’t fucking want to. I don’t want him to think less of her. She just needs time to heal. I thought she was, though. What kind of asshole am I that I didn't know?
I’ll do everything I can to make it right. Starting with her getting her freedom back. Freedom away from me. I fucking pray she comes back to me. She just needs a little time.
“She’s not alright, Vince.” I run my hand through my hair and look up at our apartment. Fuck. She loves that apartment. I told her I’d go, and she could keep it. My heart feels like it’s breaking in two. She said she couldn’t stay there though, not with all the memories of the two of us together. She wants to erase me. She wants to forget it all. Including me and what we had together.