Good Enough(56)

When we pull in to Dawn’s there is only one car in the parking lot, obviously just the person working. Lily pulls in to a spot, tells me to grab my cigarettes and to grab a seat at a picnic table and she’ll be back with our coffees.

I’m still shaking. My hand hurts. My chest hurts. My emotions are all over the place. I can’t think straight. I’m happy I punched Tess. I’m upset because I let her words get the better of me. I’m in pain from hitting her in the face. I’m trying over and over again to light a damn cigarette but my hand won’t stay still.

Minutes later Lily is back at the table with two coffees and a zip lock bag filled with ice. I look up at her and smile. She winks back at me. No words need to be exchanged. I’m lucky to have her.

“Don’t be mad but Bevan is on his way here. I told him what happened. He was at home, so it should only be a couple of minutes before he gets here.” Lily admits.

“I’m not mad. I wouldn’t ask you to keep something like this from him. Jameson is bound to find out himself too. Tess is probably calling him right now.”

“We should have gone to Taco Bell for dinner.” Lily says laughing. It’s contagious. I can’t help it but start laughing too. It’s better than crying at this point.

Moments later Bevan pulls in to Dawn’s, parks his car and swaggers his way over to us. He doesn’t say a word. He just stands at the end of the table, looks at me, pulls the bag of ice off of my hand, examines it, puts the bag of ice back and then lifts up his hand. I’m confused, so I lift up my good hand and he high fives me. He starts laughing. I just smile and say “thanks.” Lily tells the story. I just sit there and listen, and interject when I feel necessary.

“Did you call Jameson yet?” Bevan asks.

I just look up at him and shake my head no. “Do you want me to call him and tell him?” He asks. Again I don’t say anything. I just look up at him and shrug my shoulders.

“Maybe you should call him and tell him, hon. It might be easier to digest coming from you as his friend and a guy. Hillary will be all over the place with her emotions telling the story.” Lily tells Bevan.

“It’s cool Hil. I’ll tell him. I’m your friend too. I’m not one to hit a girl but she had that one coming.”

I look down at the table. Too many flashbacks coming to my mind with my ex, Robert.

“Oh shit. I’m sorry, Hillary. I didn’t mean it that way.” Bevan says.

He knows what happened to me. Crap! Jameson must have told him.

“He told us that night the four of us went to the movies to see the new Jennifer Lopez movie, ‘Enough’. You walked out of the theater. If we’d known what it was about we would have never gone to see it.”

“It’s okay Bevan.” I don’t know what else to say. “You know what guys I think I’m gonna go home. I just need to lay down I think.”

“Are you sure?” Lily asks.

“Yeah. I think I just need to be alone with my thoughts. Figure out what the hell to say to Jameson when he calls.”

“I’ll call him around 11:00 p.m., when I know he’s just getting in to his work truck so Marcie isn’t nearby to hear.” Bevan tells me.

“I appreciate that. Truly I do.”

I hug both of them goodbye. I thank them for being good friends and I drive away. But I don’t want to go home just yet. There’s only one place that can bring me some peace of mind right now. The dock.

I shut the ringer off on my phone, turn the music up on the radio and drive to my serenity with my bag of ice on my hand.

This shit hurts!





“I’ll give you matching black eyes if you lie to me again about where you go.”



July 7, 2002

I WAKE UP TO THIRTY-THREE missed calls and eleven voicemails.

Shit! I forgot to turn my ringer back on when I got home.

You have eleven new messages. Press one to hear your messages.

Babe. It’s me. I talked to Bevan. Call me.

Next message.

Babe. It’s me again. Please call me.

Next message.

Babe. You’re scaring me. Please call me. I’m not mad.

Next message.

Hillary. It’s Lily. Jameson is worried. You aren’t calling him back. Now I’m getting worried. Will you please call one of us?

Next message.

Why aren’t you picking up?

Next message.

Bevan and Lily are driving down to the dock to make sure you’re okay.

Next message.

Why aren’t you at the dock? Why aren’t you answering your phone?

Next message.

I’m calling my boss right now to get the night off.

Next message.

Bevan just called. They drove by your house and your car is there. All the lights are off except for the living room. I’m assuming that’s you or your mom. I’m glad you’re home safe. I’m not sure why you won’t talk to anyone though.