After some minor debate and Jameson remembering his mom is leaving the apartment early tomorrow morning for some farmers market trip with his grandparents a couple of hours away I agree to sleep over. I put some clothes in an overnight bag, we say our goodbyes to my parents and we leave.
I notice Jameson looking at his cell phone a lot during our drive back to his apartment. Curiosity finally gets the better of me so I speak up. “Okay, I can’t take it anymore. Why do you keep looking at your phone? Are you expecting a call or what?” He lets out a huge sigh.
“I wasn’t going to say anything but after multiple threats from Lily, if I don’t I guess now is as good a time as any.”
“Threats? Lily? What the hell is going on?” I say in a panicked tone.
“A couple of weeks ago Pam called me and asked me to meet her for coffee and I did. She asked me to give her another chance and get back together with her.” He admits.
“Oh. She doesn’t know about me?” I ask.
“No. She knows about you, and that we’re engaged.”
“And she still did this?” I’m shocked.
“Yes, she did.”
“And you said…?” I ask waiting for more information while speedily tapping my feet feeling anxiety creeping up in all crevices of my body.
“I told her I was happily engaged to you and we were looking for a house together.”
“And Bevan and Lily knew about this?”
“Yes. I didn’t know what to do at first. My mom said go meet Pam. Bevan and Lily said no. I didn’t think it would do any harm.”
“Wait a minute. Your mom said to go meet Pam? Hmph, why am I not surprised?” Now I’m really pissed. “I suddenly have the urge to go back home, Jameson.” I tell him. “I can’t think straight right now and if I go back to your apartment and see your mom sitting there I will probably start screaming and yelling at her.” I’m becoming extremely figidity in the car. My feet are tapping. My hands are tapping and touching everything. I can’t pace back and forth like I want to unless I jump out of a moving car on the highway. There’s no point in asking him to pull over because he knows me. He knows I’ll get out and start walking back towards home no matter how far away I am.
“No!” He shouts. “I’m not taking you back home. We are going to talk about this. Our exit is coming up and we will pull in to the nearest parking lot and talk about this but I will not let you run on me again, Hillary.”
I sit in the car in silence and stare out the window. I can feel the tears rushing, my chest tightening with anxiety. What’s going to happen to us now? Will Pam continue to be a problem? If she knows about me and our engagement and still tries to convince Jameson to come back to her what else will she attempt to do? I know why Bevan didn’t say anything to me. He’s Jameson’s best friend but Lily, she’s supposed to be mine. How could she keep this from me?
A few minutes later Jameson pulls in to a parking lot, puts the car in park and shuts it off. He takes a deep breath and turns towards me. My hands are sweaty. I can’t stop cracking my knuckles to try to relieve the tension I’m feeling.
“Hillary, listen to me carefully. I love you. From the moment I saw you at Dawn’s I literally lost my balance over your beauty. Pam and I are over. I honestly did not know what she wanted to meet with me about. I didn’t think it would do any harm.” He shrugs. “I was wrong in not telling you about it right away but I didn’t know how to approach it. She is not a danger to us. I told her to lose my number and not contact me again. Lily gave me a deadline on when to tell you, otherwise she was going to, so don’t be mad at her for not telling you right away.” He stops as if to give me an opportunity to respond, but I don’t say anything.
“My mother,” he goes on, “well… she’s a different story and you know that too. My talk with her today was all over the place. I told her how it wasn’t fair of her to give us guilt trips for not inviting her out with us when we go out with our friends, and she needed to make new friends her own age.” He sighs.
“My point is you, Hillary Nowal. You are all I want. You are like no woman I have ever met in my life. You make me open my eyes to thoughts I didn’t realize were there. I fell in love with you because of all of those things you never knew you were doing. While you have been trying to free yourself of your past, you’ve been helping me somehow to become a better person. Somehow you make me powerful and powerless at the same time. You aren’t just the one for me. You’re the only one for me.”