Good Enough(47)

Before I met you, I never knew what it was to smile for no reason.

I’m in my work truck right now. I’m looking up at the sky, staring at the stars, and I’m matching each one for reasons why I love you. I’m running out of stars.

It may be two o’clock in the morning right now but all I want is you here with me. It’s always like that. No matter what time, be in 2:00 a.m. or 2:00 p.m. No matter what day of the week, be it Sunday or Monday. Sunup or sundown. I want my lips on your lips. My skin on your skin. I want all of you.

It’s been like this ever since I first laid eyes on you. I felt breathless. Cupid’s arrow went right through my heart and bore into my soul.

I know things haven’t been easy for you. You deserve so much. You deserve the world. I know I can’t give you that, but I can give you the next best thing. My world. I don’t know what the future holds for us, or where we’ll go, but I do know as long as we’re together we’ll be just fine.

Always Yours,

Jameson

(Romeo)





“I want you out of my life!”



June 6, 2002

WE HAVE BEEN LOOKING AT HOUSES for months and we haven’t found ‘the one’ yet. We’re getting pretty anxious too. Marcie has been a complete bear lately. I don’t know what her problem is but clearly she has one. Just remembering what happened last night when we got home.

We’ve told our friends we would only go out once on the weekend, either Friday night or Saturday night but not both. We had to save our money. We’ve been good about it too. Whatever night we stay in we usually hang out in the living room with Marcie and watch television.

This Friday night we were going out to celebrate Christian’s birthday. When we got in it was around 11:30 p.m. Marcie was still awake, lounging in her usual spot at the far end of the reclining couch. She wouldn’t acknowledge us. Not even to bark at us about taking our shoes off.

“Hey, Ma,” Jameson says.

She just keeps staring straight ahead at the television.

“Ma! I said hi!” Jameson says louder.

She turns her head, looks at us and turns back to the television.

“Ma. What is going on? Did something happen? What’s your deal?”

“You know, it’s lonely here. It would be nice if you guys invited me out with you and your friends once in a while.” She replies.

Is she fucking serious? She wants us to invite her out with us and our friends because she’s lonely and won’t go out to make her own friends at fifty something years old? This has got to be a joke.

“Ma, if you’re lonely why don’t you go out with people your own age? Plus we only go out once a week. Other than that we stay in here and most nights watch TV with you. Why don’t you go to more of the get-togethers the management office has for the residents? Go meet people your own age.”

“I’m going to take a shower.” Marcie replies, sternly.

I give Jameson that “what the fuck” look. As Marcie slams the bathroom door shut we realize we still have our coats on.

“Jameson. She has got to be fucking kidding right? Because she is so hard to get along with she expects us to take her out with us and our friends? Our friends don’t even like her anymore because she has become so mean over the last few months. She is fifty something years old. It is not our responsibility to fulfill her social life. That is just bullshit for her to put that on us like that.”

“I know. You’re right. I’m gonna talk to her. Let’s go put our pajamas on and watch a little TV while I wait for her to get out of the bathroom.”

I followed him to his room and closed the door behind me. As he walked around his bed he pushed the on button on his television, grabbed the remote and sat on his bed. I didn’t say a word. I just stood there and watched him for a minute. He sat upright on his bed, one leg hanging off to the side. I could see the frustration on his face, in his eyes and his mouth. He was squinting his eyes, he was biting the bottom corner of his lip. He was upset, but with who? Was he upset with Marcie because of her childish behavior and guilt trip? Was he upset with me for wanting to go out? Was he upset with himself? I couldn’t tell.

He was clearly bothered because for a short moment I was standing in his room completely naked and he didn’t even notice. I grabbed his Minnesota Vikings jersey and put it on. I walked over to the bed and just stood there watching him some more. He finally noticed me.

“Nice shirt.” He says.

“Thanks. I like how it smells like you. I might have to keep it.”

He reaches out his hand for me to join him on the bed. I rest my head on his chest and wrap my arm around his waist. No words. Just my way of letting him know I’m here for him.