“‘Don’t you worry about me, Mrs. B,’ he said. Then he pushed up to his feet. ‘Gotta go. See ya.’
“But I did worry about him. And that afternoon I followed him. To a pretty bad section of town where there was an abandoned movie theater.
“He turned down an alleyway and slipped inside. I waited a minute, and then swallowing my misgivings, I followed. I caught a glimpse of him heading up a stairway next to the old concession area.
“There was no electricity, and no lights were on because the place had been abandoned for years. I could hardly see where I was going as I crept up the stairs after him. Turns out I’d walked into a drug deal gone bad. Even now I don’t know the details except that all of a sudden one of the guys pulled out a gun. I looked into his eyes and knew I was going to die. I knew he was going to pull the trigger and he wouldn’t care.”
Eleanor sucked in a breath, but I didn’t look at her now. I stared at the plain gray wall behind her until the elegant living room faded away and I was back in that red-carpeted hallway that stank of cat urine and mold and fear.
“Julio was there, at the top of the stairs, but so was a group of other guys, and they didn’t look happy with him. Something about selling them some bad shit.
“Julio saw me and whispered, ‘What the hell are you doing here, Mrs. B?’
“‘What are you doing here?’ I touched his arm.
“Suddenly one of them stepped forward out of the dark, turning a gun that had been pointed in Julio’s direction toward me.
“I froze, heart thudding in my chest, as I stared into that dark, expressionless face. ‘Who’s this, Julio? What’s going on?’ I knew we were in serious trouble, but I wasn’t giving up. I wasn’t leaving there without him.
“‘Go! For God’s sake, go.’ Julio gave me a desperate push. Startled, I stumbled backward toward the stairs, losing my footing on the first step. Shots and laughter ricocheted off the walls as I crashed and tumbled down the whole long endless flight.
“At the bottom I lay there, barely breathing, sure that I’d broken my back. I looked up and watched Julio get shot, point blank, and there wasn’t a thing I could do about it. I saw the blood spread across his stomach, and felt mine, and knew that I’d lost the baby. I couldn’t save either one of them.”
I wiped at my face, surprised to find it soaked with tears.
Wordlessly, Eleanor handed me a cocktail napkin. Her eyes were fixed on me, full of compassion. Jasper scrambled to his feet, planted his paws on my knees, and stretched up to lick the salty tears from my face.
“Okay, okay, boy.” I petted his head and encouraged him to sit. “Someone must have heard the shots and called 911. It’s a bit fuzzy after that until I woke up in the hospital.”
“And the baby?”
I closed my eyes for a second. “I didn’t lose her right away. Not until a few days later. The doctors couldn’t be sure the experience and resulting shock are what caused it, but Joe was convinced.”
Every time I tried to bring up the subject, Joe’s face would harden. Daisy, don’t defend that son of a bitch who killed our baby.
“I tried to explain that Julio never meant to hurt me. He didn’t exactly push me down the steps. I tripped and fell. He was trying to save me. Joe didn’t look at it that way, though. He refused to ever talk about it again. And so I never did. With anyone.”
Eleanor cleared her throat. “Daisy, thank you for sharing your story with me.”
“I’m not sure why I suddenly did tonight.”
“Vodka. It’s the great truth serum. Next lesson is absinthe, but not now.”
I managed a watery chuckle. “Oh, jeez, Eleanor.”
“Did they ever catch the guys who did it?”
I shook my head. “I tried to give them a description, but I guess I was focused more on the gun than the guy who was holding it. And after Julio was killed, I shut my eyes and lay as still as possible so they would think I was dead, too.”
Eleanor poured the last of the contents of the shaker into my glass.
“It was funny—I’d faced down the gun and survived—but afterwards I fell apart. I started having nightmares, waking up in the middle of the night screaming, jumping at shadows. I got a new job in a better school district, but it took me years to stop looking over my shoulder. And could I have done more to save Julio? The lack of an adequate answer to that question has haunted me ever since.”
I blessed the fact that Eleanor didn’t try to come up with a reassuring response. She looked years younger in the soft light from the table lamps, her body lithe and trim in her casual yoga wear.