Giving In(54)

“I missed you too, baby.”

He kissed her this time, long and leisurely. It sent warm shivers cascading over her body. Now that she’d decided that she wanted to try to have a physical relationship with him, it was all that occupied her mind. She was bursting with hope and anticipation because this would be huge for her. Just as huge as it evidently was that he was offering to relinquish absolute control to her.

“I got used to having you around the last four days,” she whispered.

He let out a groan. “God, baby, if you have any intention of us going out, you have to stop now because I’m one second away from hauling you into the bedroom and tying my own self to the bed.”

She laughed, the sound joyous and free. How far had she come that they could actually joke about her hang-ups and she could laugh at herself? If she had any uncertainty about whether she loved this man, it was gone in an instant.

“I’m ready to go if you are,” she said with a grin. “You said casual, but I didn’t want to go too casual.”

He pulled her away as if noticing for the first time what she had on. She loved that he hadn’t paid any attention to the outer trappings. He’d only been focused on her. The woman. What was on the inside, no matter how twisted up she was there.

“If this is your definition of casual then I’m dying to know what you consider not casual,” he said, male appreciation evident in his tone.

She’d donned a short cocktail dress, one that clipped just above her knees and bared the expanse of her legs. It was simple and could certainly qualify as casual. It was black and sleeveless with a modest neckline that only hinted at the curves of her breasts.

The pièce de résistance, however, were the heels. She was normally a flip-flop kind of girl and wouldn’t be caught dead in a pair of heels. But she was feeling brave and a little sassy and so, on her way home from lunch, she’d stopped and bought a pair of spiked, blingy heels that she had to admit looked damn good on her. She just hoped like hell she didn’t make an ass of herself by face-planting when she tried to walk in them.

“I wanted to look good for you,” she said hesitantly.

He gathered her close again, careful to keep her from teetering on her heels. “Baby, you look good to me no matter what you’re wearing, but let me assure you. You look gorgeous. I’m a lucky bastard to be seen with you. Let me change into something besides my work clothes and then I’ll take you out. Think you can slow dance with those killer shoes?”

She smiled, taking in his appreciative stare, it stroking her feminine ego. She hadn’t ever considered she had one until now.

“If you hold me close enough I won’t fall.”

He leaned in close, his breath whispering over her face. “I’ll never let you fall, baby.”

Her heart clutched at the quiet vow and she knew he wouldn’t break it. Literally and figuratively speaking, he’d never let her fall. Not when he was around. She was stronger with him, because of him. She felt ready to take on the world because of this man’s confidence in her.

She ached to tell him everything that was in her heart, but she knew they still had a long way to go. And it wouldn’t be easy. They still had many obstacles to overcome, but for the first time she was optimistic about her chances of regaining control over her life. And she owed it partly to him. Hell, she owed it all to him.

If he hadn’t pushed her, if he hadn’t been so determined, she’d still be existing day to day, hiding from the world with her head in the sand.

Now she was going on a date. Another date, only this time she hoped for a better result. She wasn’t foolish enough to think she’d get there tonight. But she wanted to try. That was something, wasn’t it? She wasn’t afraid to try. Her only fear was failure. But she wasn’t going to use that fear as an excuse not to go through with it. She’d face her fears head-on and not allow them to rule her life any longer.

It took Jensen only a few minutes to change. He chose jeans and a simple polo that fit snugly over his strong shoulders and broad chest. It hugged him in all the right places, accentuating his lean, muscled physique.

And his smell. She wasn’t even sure if he used cologne or perhaps aftershave. It wasn’t overpowering but wholeheartedly masculine and rugged. She loved his scent.

They drove to a small jazz bar in the downtown area. A band played nightly and the lighting was low and romantic, only the mellow sounds of the music mixed with hushed tones of the patrons evident.

It screamed intimate and quiet. Cozy and perfect. An ideal prelude to what she hoped would be more. She was nervous and yet edgy with impatience and anticipation to see where the evening would take them. She planned to talk with Jensen, to query him further on the control issue and whether he was truly willing to go through with it. It was a testament to her will that she didn’t question whether she was willing to go through with it.