Giving In(46)

She settled back down, closing her eyes, savoring the warmth and comfort of his bed, his pillow and his clothing. Him.

A few moments later, he came back into the bedroom carrying a tray. She hastily sat up, plumping her pillow behind her back as he set the tray in front of her.

Waffles and bacon. Perfect.

“This looks wonderful,” she said huskily. “Thank you.”

He scooted onto the bed beside her so they were shoulder to shoulder.

“Eat up,” he encouraged. “I don’t want a single bite left over.”

She grinned as she swallowed a scrumptious bite. “Admit it. You love getting to boss me around. It’s that whole dominant thing you have going on.”

He looked surprised at the ease with which she spoke of the matter. It surprised her as well. It should freak her out. Certainly everything else had. And yet she knew to her soul that this man would never willfully hurt her. She might not know much else, but she did know that. Maybe it made her a trusting fool, but she felt safe with him. He’d seen her at her most vulnerable and he didn’t lord it over her. He didn’t try to press his obvious advantage. He treated her like she was precious. Breakable. With tenderness she didn’t fully comprehend but that she savored wholly.

“You’ll learn in time that you have all the power where I’m concerned,” he said in a serious tone. “And that I have none.”

She swallowed hard, the food stuck in her throat as she processed his declaration. Everything about him radiated authority and yet he was saying she had all the power? How was that even possible?

“What does that mean?” she asked in a low voice.

His gaze was intent, unfaltering, stroking over her face like sunshine. “What it means is that you’re in the driver’s seat, baby. Whatever happens from here on out is up to you. It means that when or if we make love, you’ll be in complete control and I will be at your mercy. It means that when it comes to you, I’m not dominant, nor do I have any desire to be. I am, in effect, at your feet.”

Whoa. How the hell was she even supposed to respond to that? Emotion knotted and welled in her throat and suddenly she felt like crying. Not because she was sad but because she was utterly overwhelmed by the magnitude of what he was offering her. This was not a man who made concessions like this lightly. Everything about him screamed dominant, alpha male. And yet he was willing to suppress what made him who he was for her.

She didn’t deserve this kind of gift. She wasn’t worthy of it. And the fact that he was offering it to her destroyed any wall she would have erected between them. She was defenseless against such unselfishness.

“I don’t know what to say,” she choked out.

“The first thing I want you to say is that you’ll stay here with me for the next several days. Let me take care of you. Let me work on building trust between us.”

“And the second?”

“I want you to give us a chance.”

“Is there an us?” she whispered.

“I want there to be,” he said sincerely. “But you have to want it too. If you only want it half as much as I do it’s a starting point.”

She held her breath until she was light-headed and then, before she could chicken out and tuck tail and run, just like she did in every other aspect of her life, she took the plunge.

“Yes and okay,” she said, the words tumbling out.

He blinked. “Be a little more specific, baby. I need to know what you’re saying here. This is too important for me to make assumptions or to think you’re saying something you aren’t.”

She sucked in a breath and blew it out, steadying herself before inevitable meltdown occurred. “Yes I’ll stay with you, and okay, I’ll give us a chance.”

The relief was so stark in his eyes that it was like a punch in the stomach. She hadn’t realized how much he wanted this—her. It was mind-boggling that they’d gone from antagonists to potential lovers, or something more than just acquaintances. She couldn’t quite make the leap to lovers in her mind because that night was still too bright in her mind.

He gently framed her face in his hands, turning her to face him. He stroked her cheekbones with his thumbs and then lowered his head, tenderly touching his lips to hers. He licked syrup from her lips in a light brush that sent a spark shooting through her veins.

Her body wanted him. Now her mind just had to follow suit. Her heart was in accord with her body. Now she just had to get her damn brain to stop freaking the fuck out every time things got heavy.

God, maybe she did need to see a shrink. She’d never even entertained the thought. She’d never had a solid reason to want to try and deal with her issues. But Jensen gave her that reason. He gave her hope. He gave her many things she’d never thought she’d have or even want to have.