She shook her head, her eyes panicked for a moment. “No. No doctors.”
“They’re not like at the colony. I won’t let anyone do that to you here.”
“Please take me home,” she said, her eyes suddenly filled with tears.
“Rowan,” he said, walking to her, touching her arm.
She jerked it off. “What do you care? It’s not like you’re ever around other than to fuck me anyway!”
Silas opened his mouth, but closed it again and counted to ten. He exhaled through his nose. She was right, there was no denying that what she said was true. But it had to be this way. It would be easier later.
Hardening himself, he fished out the small box he’d received that morning and held it up to her so that she would see the insignia of the colony on the packaging. Her eyes went wide and she turned them to him, questioning.
“It’s a pregnancy test. You didn’t expect them to just leave you here without checking on you, did you?”
She only narrowed her eyes at him. “What happens if it’s positive? Do I have to go back?”
“I don’t know,” he said, feeling powerless, feeling weak.
“I won’t take it. Tell them you never got it if they ask.”
“Don’t you think they’ll send a convoy out with it the next time then?”
She considered while Silas watched, wanting to comfort her, to tell her he hated this as much as she did, hating himself for holding back.
Rowan nodded. “What do I have to do?”
“The doctor needs a urine sample,” Silas said, taking out the little cup and stick inside. “We’ll know within moments if you’re pregnant yet.”
“Fine,” she said, holding out her hand for the cup.
“The doctor and I have to watch you give the sample.”
She glared. “You have to…?” she asked, her voice rising. He knew from her tone that she knew how pointless arguing would be.
He nodded.
Rowan fisted her hands, her neck beginning to turn red with frustration. “I hate you,” she said, stomping ahead of him into the clinic. She went into the bathroom and Silas followed her along with the doctor. Silas had already spoken to him and explained. Dr. Stone told him he didn’t like it, but also knew he had to do it.
“I’m sorry, Rowan,” Dr. Stone said to her when they closed the door and stood while she took the cup from Silas’ hand.
She didn’t acknowledge his comment. Instead, she squatted down and lifted her dress, holding the cup just beneath her. She kept her gaze down as she filled the cup and when she was finished and stood, he could see the tears in her eyes as she handed it back to him and turned to wash her hands.
The men took the cup and left the small room quietly. Silas followed the doctor to his office and they both watched while the stick colored a pale green. Negative. Silas was surprised to find himself exhaling in relief. She wasn’t pregnant.
“I’ll make the call to the colony,” Dr. Stone said, seeming relieved himself. “Go take Rowan home and take care of her. Pay her some attention. She’s lonely in case you haven’t noticed.”
The tone in the doctor’s voice betrayed his annoyance with Silas but the man didn’t know how much was at stake.
“I don’t like this any more than anyone else,” he defended. “But I don’t have a choice.”
Dr. Stone met his gaze. “It doesn’t mean you can’t treat her kindly while she’s here, Silas. I’m sorry, but she deserves better.”
Silas opened his mouth to speak to his friend, to explain, but closed it again. This was his burden; he would carry it. But there was no denying what the doctor said. “I know,” Silas said. The men looked at each other for a long moment until Silas spoke again. “Thank you for letting her work here, I know she enjoys her time in the garden and with you and Kara.”
Dr. Stone nodded. “You’re a good man, Silas, and I know what you’re doing, trying to keep your distance, but it won’t make it easier when the time comes to send her or her children away. Take care with the time you have.”
Silas smiled a tight smile and exhaled. He nodded and turned to go, finding Rowan back outside in the garden. Her back was to him and she was picking weeds from between some plants. He was about to call to her when he saw her stop and clutch her stomach, leaning forward, her other hand coming to the ground to support herself. He watched but after a few moments, the pain must have passed because she resumed her work. He’d keep an eye on her over the coming days and if she continued to have pain, he would insist on an exam.
She must have heard him as he approached because she slowly rose, looking expectantly at him.