Rowan glanced down at the nearly empty cup. “Not this one, it’s for a belly ache. I’ll make you something else,” she said and rose to her feet, surprised at how easily that lie had slipped from her mouth. As she did, a sudden sharp pain had her doubled over and she clutched her belly.
“Rowan! Are you ok?” Kara asked, jumping to her feet.
The pain was gone as quickly as it came, but it was, in that moment, sharp as a knife slicing through her. Slowly, she straightened. “I’m ok,” she said. “Just got up too fast.”
“Do you want more of the tea?” Kara asked, picking up Rowan’s cup and looking at the damp leaves at the bottom of it.
Rowan took the cup from her hands. “No, that’s ok. I’m fine. Let me just give the plants a little water and we can go.”
The two walked to the clinic together. As the days passed, the villagers seemed to become more comfortable with her presence, especially as when they came to the clinic, she worked with so many of them making her tinctures. Dr. Stone was a kind man and she enjoyed her time there with him and Kara. She only wished she could reach some similar sort of level with Silas but he wouldn’t allow it. She wondered if she so repulsed him because in the last two weeks, he had barely touched her at all during penetration and always took her from behind as if looking at her face were too much.
* * *
Silas walked toward the clinic knowing he would find Rowan there. The colony wanted a report and they had sent a test to confirm whether or not she was pregnant yet. He was just glad they didn’t send out more doctors to examine her. This was already hard on her and him keeping his distance was, in the end, for their own good. That time in the garden when he had forced himself on her, he’d done it knowing she would hate him for it. Hoping she would. But in a way, she seemed to understand his predicament and somehow, she managed to be kind to him. When he was around that is. He neither wanted nor needed her kindness. It would be easier if she hated him. Her nobility, her goodness, astounded him at times, but it also added to the guilt he already felt.
When he reached the clinic, he pulled the door open and went inside. The reception area was empty but for one waiting patient. He greeted the old man and made his way down the hall and out toward the garden where he could already see Rowan and Kara. They had their backs to him and Kara was telling an animated story. Just as he set foot outside, the two burst into laughter. The sound made him smile. Kara was one of the few girls close to Rowan’s age in the village. With her dad having passed away some time ago, her mom was so busy with Charlie that Kara was treated as more of an adult and it was nice to see her with Rowan. She looked up to her like a big sister.
“What’s so funny?” Silas asked, wanting to participate but awkward in his approach.
The two turned and he didn’t miss the fact that Rowan’s smile faded instantly.
“Oh, just some silly story,” Kara said. “Wait, is it just three in the afternoon and Silas is here? Out and about? Aren’t you supposed to be buried in ‘important business’ or something? Too important to hang out with us?”
Well, she was right. He had been hiding out. Avoiding Rowan and in the meantime, the whole of the settlement.
“I’m here on business,” he said, turning to Rowan. He didn’t miss it when she moved her hand to her belly and leaned just a little forward. “Are you ok?” he asked, concerned.
He saw Kara’s eyebrows go up as if she had something to say.
“I’m fine,” Rowan said, her tone cool.
“It’s an awful long time to have a belly ache,” Kara commented. He could hear her trying for a casual tone as he studied the pair.
“I said I’m fine,” Rowan snapped at Kara. It was completely out of character for Rowan and he could immediately see the regret on her face the moment the words had left her mouth. “I’m sorry, Kara. I didn’t mean that. I’m sorry.”
Kara shrugged. “It’s ok.” She looked down at her feet. “I have to get out of here and get Charlie.”
“Kara…” Rowan began, her eyes wide with worry and remorse.
But Kara only smiled once, or at least tried to, before leaving.
Silas watched her go, then turned back to Rowan. “She’ll be fine,” he said, seeing the guilt on her face.
“I shouldn’t have snapped.”
“Why did you? It’s not like you from what I’ve seen.”
“I don’t know,” she said, hesitating.
He raised his eyebrows.
“I’m tired. Can you take me home?” she asked.
“Are you sure you’re ok? I can have the doctor check you out.”