Chapter Four
Rowan woke to the sound of birds chirping early the next morning. She opened her eyes, unsure of where she was at first, but all it took was a moment for it all to come back to her. She looked down at the large arm draped over her waist and became very aware of the body behind hers, of the warmth and hardness of it. She had slept through the night and even now, didn’t feel cold. When she stirred, he pulled her tighter, his breathing changing slightly. After he settled back into sleep, she took hold of his arm in both of her hands and, as carefully as she could, she lifted it up and began to scoot out from under it. She was almost free when his hand closed around her waist and he tugged her onto her back.
“Where are you going?”
“I have to pee.” He studied her for a minute and she gave him a look. “Really.”
He nodded and let her go, sitting up and scratching his head. Rowan stood, her body slightly sore but more from sleeping on the hard ground than anything else. Her bottom and thighs only felt tender, not really painful any longer but her bottom hole still ached. He had pocketed the ointment himself so she would have to ask for it if she wanted any relief.
But first, she needed to find a private space to relieve herself. Scooting behind some rocks far enough from where Silas now moved around, she squatted down to pee, watching him. He was so large, his hair was ruffled, and he looked a little out of sorts looking around for something then figuring to check in the contents on the wagon. He smiled when he found it and she saw his mouth move as he said something to himself, or more accurately, to the small pot and what appeared to be coffee that he had found. Rowan smiled and made her way back to where he now began to rebuild their fire.
“Is that coffee?” she asked.
He nodded. “I guess they knew I’d be in a foul humor without it and didn’t want me to kill their breeder,” he chuckled.
Rowan only stared at him.
When he saw her face, he cleared his throat. “I’m sorry, that was inappropriate. A bad joke.”
“It’s ok.” She picked up one of the pomegranates from the night before and looked over at him. “Do you have a knife?” she asked.
He hesitated but slowly handed her a small knife, the look in his eyes a warning as she took it from him. She split the fruit in half, careful not to slice it through and waste any of the juice. She split it in two and stuck one half onto the end of the knife. With a smirk on her face, she handed it to him.
“Thank you,” he said, taking it. He watched the water boil then added the coffee grounds as he ate his fruit.
“You never told me why you were accused,” he said casually.
“Don’t you believe me that I didn’t do anything wrong?”
“It’s not that I don’t believe you, but I want to know why.”
She took a deep breath in. He wasn’t a beast to her, this man. Not yet anyway. And she was bound to him for now. She would choose when to fight him and when to give in. “Captain Amro rapes the breeders,” she began, feeling the look of disgust on her face. “He chooses the ones that appeal to him and this time, I was the unfortunate one who caught his eye,” she said, looking into the fire. “I’d heard of it before, seen the girls that he’d had the next morning. He always chose the ones who just came of breeding age. At least he didn’t harm the children, maybe I should give him credit for that,” she snorted, her lip curling.
“How many?” His voice was hard and she turned her face to his.
“I don’t know. It was a rumor I’d heard before, but when I came of age, they told me, the others, to just let it happen. To try to stay silent and it would be easier. Not to fight. That it would only continue until I was bred and then it would be over.”
His eyes narrowed on hers and his mouth tightened while he waited for her to continue.
“I understood then why some of the women were punished so harshly. In the end, they all gave in, they all advised me to remain quiet, to not fight and let it happen.”
“You didn’t.”
“No. I fought, made too much noise, I would have killed him if I could have. A guard came to see the commotion and Ana, poor Ana…” She had just started to show, her belly just rounding. They had all felt the baby move for the first time that morning. She remembered how happy Ana had been, how she had been sure the child would be a breeder, that she would get to keep her baby.
Silas reached out and put a hand on her shoulder, squeezing a little. That squeeze though only managed to push the tears out from behind her eyes. She shrugged off his hand and turned her attention to the ground, digging at the earth, watching as her fingernails grew dirty. It took her a minute before she turned back to him, inhaling then exhaling loudly, that exhale vocalizing her pain.