“I fucking knew. But I was stupid and selfish and so sick of that goddamn house. So I played a few more songs, stood around with my buddies, and shot the shit for no good reason. I walked home the long way.”
He stopped talking. She figured it was to compose himself. She could feel his anguish rolling over both of them as he continued.
“When I got there, his truck was sideways in the driveway. I could hear Claire Ann screaming from inside. We lived on several acres so there weren’t any neighbors to call for help.”
Kylie took several deep breaths to stave off the quiver that was gaining momentum inside of her. She knew he needed to get this out without her bawling all over him.
“I swear, it was like I had the strength of a hundred men. I flew inside and grabbed him. I slammed him into a wall, and somehow, I literally threw him out of the house. I was puny, and he was a big guy, but I was blind with rage. I threatened to kill him if he stepped foot back in that house. And I meant it.”
Kylie kept her arms securely fastened around him. She didn’t even know if she was doing it to comfort him or herself anymore. She hoped if their bodies were close enough somehow she could siphon off some of his pain by sharing the weight of this heavy burden he’d carried all alone for so long.
“Claire Ann’s face was already bruising and swollen. He’d busted her nose and there were open welts covering her legs. She’d tried to protect our mom while he’d beat her into unconsciousness.” His chest rose abruptly as he expelled an audible breath. “Typical Claire Ann. Broken and bloody and trying to take care of everyone else. She kept screaming at me to find Rae.” He let go of her and leaned forward. Kylie continued to lean over onto him as he dropped his head into his hands. “She was only five and so damn small for her age. I couldn’t find her anywhere. My mom was still unconscious on the floor and Claire Ann was losing it and Rae was just…missing.”
A small sob escaped her as the picture took shape in her head, but she choked down the rest of it so he could go on.
Trace’s voice was gravelly. She could tell he was doing his best to keep it low as not to disturb anyone else in the room.
“I called the police. They were familiar with our family. They didn’t hurry.” His voice took on an angrier tone. “And I just started tearing the damn house down trying to find her. I looked everywhere. The girls’ room, my room, the bathroom. Every single cabinet, even ones she couldn’t have possibly gotten into. And then I saw it. The smeared trail of blood. She was in the space between the stove and the fridge. It was barely big enough for her to fit.”
“I’m sorry, Trace. God, I’m so sorry.”
“It took me forever to get her to come out. He’d hit her with the buckle end of his belt. Sliced the back of her ear clean open. It took a dozen stitches to close.”
She covered her mouth and shook her head to keep the whimpers inside. “Trace, none of that was your fault.”
He turned to her with an irate expression. The ferocity in his voice almost sent her reeling backward.
“Are you fucking kidding? Of course it was my fault. I was hanging out with my friends like I didn’t have a goddamn care in the world. I might as well have hit her myself.”
“You listen to me.” Kylie took his face in both of her hands. “You were a kid, Trace. A kid that didn’t get a childhood. Because he stole it. From all of you. You know what Rae told me at your birthday party that first time I came to the farm? She told me about your dad but said that nothing had ever happened to her because you protected her. You kept her safe.”
“I didn’t. I didn’t, Kylie. I messed up. I let her down. It’s what I do. I let people down.” He let his tears fall and she forced her way back into his lap.
“No, Trace. No, you didn’t. You don’t.” She kissed every inch of his face, tasting both of their salty tears as she did.
“She doesn’t remember,” a somber female voice said.
Kylie startled, pulling herself from his arms as a reflex, feeling like they’d been caught doing something illicit in public.
“She doesn’t remember that night,” Claire Ann continued. “I’ve asked her about it before. She only remembers you pulling her out of the space by the stove. She thinks you were playing hide and seek and that scar is from where she cut herself climbing behind there.”
Kylie gaped at Claire Ann’s stoic face, wondering how long she’d been awake.
“Thank God for that. But I can’t forget. I remember it like it was yesterday.”
She leaned against his chest. His heart pounded rhythmically in her ear.