Lulu turned her back to Mike and gave her friend her full attention. “You’ve worked hard for this. It’s your ass on the line. Your face on the album. You can be however you want to be. They don’t like it, they can find another band to be in.”
Kylie shrugged. “My New Year’s resolution was to try and take it easier on them. It’s not their fault I don’t have a life.”
“Mia mentioned that you were pretty much living in the studio before this tour. Ky, can I ask why that was? I mean, you have a great apartment, you live in the city of your dreams, your album rocketed off the damn charts, and this is everything you wished for, right? So what’s with the constant nose-to-the-grindstone routine?”
A lump formed in her throat. Kylie waited until she could swallow to answer.
“It’s all I have, Lu. Music is literally my life.”
The pity in her friend’s expression made her feel even worse.
“You know, I don’t get why everyone acts like it’s such a bad thing. In this business, if you take a break, someone younger and prettier replaces you while you’re not looking. So I don’t like to sit around on my ass and wait for that to happen. So what?” She threw her hands up. “And besides, this is temporary. It’s not like I’ll be the next big thing forever. The newness will wear off and I’ll be old news. So it only makes sense to do as much as I can while I’m in the spotlight, right?”
“What about when you’re not in it anymore, Ky?” Lulu’s voice was much softer than usual. “When this all ends or slows down at least—because, like you said, it will one day—I’m worried about what your life will be like then. What you’ll be like.”
Kylie wished she could just disappear and avoid this conversation. She knew what kind of life she was going to have. She’d always known.
Holidays alone eating frozen meals on her couch. Pretending it was fine. That she was glad to have some time to herself.
Her daddy’s death had left her with nothing but a dream, a dream that she’d chased and caught and would probably have to let go of at some point. She had her dream career, had success she knew many only hoped for and never got. But she wasn’t stupid. She knew a career in music wouldn’t last forever, wouldn’t love her, and wouldn’t keep her warm at night. But she’d been naïve enough to hope for everything once, to think maybe she could have her dream and someone to share it with. She’d be damn if she’d make that mistake again.
“What would you suggest I do? I’ve tried dating and having a life outside of it. You saw how well that worked out for me.”
Lulu opened her mouth to answer, but it was Mike clearing his throat that she heard.
“Mind if I take this one?” he asked her friend.
“If you say something hurtful and asinine, I promise you will be hoofing it to the hotel on your own two legs.”
“Noted,” Mike answered with a grin. He scooted a little closer to where they sat and looked Kylie right in the eyes. “You know what I always liked about you?”
“Probably nothing that’s appropriate to say out loud,” Kylie muttered.
He laughed good-naturedly. “Well, yeah. But also, you were tough. And anything anyone gave you, you gave right back. You didn’t play any bullshit games. Well, minus hustling us all in Hold ’Em in Mobile. But aside from that, you were a straight shooter.”
“Are you trying to say I’m some big phony now, Brennen? Because—”
“Eh, eh, eh,” he said, cutting her off before she could blow a gasket. “Hear me out.”
She huffed out a breath and waited for him to continue.
“What I’m saying is, somewhere along the way, for whatever reason, you changed. And that’s probably not a bad thing since this business tends to eat pretty little girls like you for breakfast. But from what your band bitches about and how tight Corbin’s been wound lately, I think you probably went a little too far in the I don’t fucking need anyone direction. And when you work with a band that has your back in the studio and on the road, that’s a dangerous move.”
Kylie chewed over the things he’d said for a few minutes.
“So you’re telling me I should just go with the flow and say to hell with rehearsing, recording, and the rest of it?” She threw her hands up and let them fall back into her lap. “You know as well as I do, this business will toss me out on my ass if I do that.”
Mike didn’t answer right away. When he did, his question caught her off guard. “Your guitar player, the one that just had twins, what are their names?”