Lily recalled not wanting to have her picture taken. After Nicholas spent twenty minutes pouting, she’d finally given in and let him take a picture of her sitting on the porch. After which she promptly stripped out of the sundress and sat on the edge of the pond with her feet dangling in the lukewarm water. She recalled smiling and telling him to eventually stop snapping pictures.
There was only one other time she’d been brave enough to have her naked body photographed.
Keith had thought it would be fun to share sexy pictures. When Lily finally got up enough courage to take her picture, Keith’s only comment was how nice she looked. The conversation ended at that, and no more photos were shared.
After that, days were filled with writing and teaching. Nights were filled with lonely showers and getting to bed, with Keith either falling asleep on the couch or coming to bed after she’d already fallen asleep.
Couple’s counseling didn’t even work. Once a week they ended up in a beige office with beige carpeting. Lily felt engulfed out by the lack of color, like drowning in the ocean with only blue above and blue below. One year of bliss followed by one year of tepid romance. Six months of talking it out with Dr. Rogers. Three days to pack her belongings and sign the papers for her new one-bedroom apartment. When Keith had told her it was time for him to move on, she agreed.
The prospect of being alone hadn’t been so enticing, but the thought of spending the rest of her life living a lie hadn’t been so great either. After Keith asked her to move out, she decided to take matters into her own hands. Lily’s curiosity led her to order books upon books. The spark ignited, she dove deeper into study. Was it her depravity or just plain lust guiding her fantasy? The question lingered with every page she read.
Lily turned to admire the row of ferns hanging along the porch. This was her place. No cramped apartment. No man telling her she was sick and depraved. Tony was her saving grace, and she knew in her heart that she would have to let him go. But when? How would she know that precise moment when all the world seemed right and she could let him walk out the door for the last time?
The day she met Tony had solidified the truth she’d kept hidden in a shroud of loneliness and fear. She wanted companionship, to be loved and accepted. She didn’t know it at the time, but an encounter with a dark stranger at one lecture was going to change how much she valued herself. The way he watched her move across the stage made her uneasy. His piercing gaze caressed her waist, hovered over her breasts. She felt wanted, wrapped in something safe—something forbidden yet strangely desirable. After he’d come to the house, she knew there was no going back to the life she’d settled into. Finally someone was a part of her life, who understood her needs and accepted her for the woman she was. Finally, someone cared about her—the true her. Now the reality of her independence seemed to be erasing the security she’d grown to rely on.
Chapter Four
Adam borrowed Lily’s car the next morning. She scribbled a quick map on a piece of lavender-scented paper and sent him on his way. She’d been dying to get into the outdoor bathtub, and this was going to be her opportunity.
Nicholas was the one who bought her the bathtub. Lily had mentioned how much she would adore a claw-foot tub for her garden so she could take a bath outside. The following weekend Nicholas had it shipped to the plantation from somewhere on the coast. He’d put a huge red ribbon on it and had it filled with pink rose petals. Lily sighed as she remembered the delighted look on his face was when she took her clothes off and jumped in. They’d spent the rest of the afternoon laughing and drinking champagne.
After running the bath from the spigot, she went to the flower beds by the front veranda and started to pull weeds. Before she knew it, lunchtime had rolled around.
As she took another bite from a juicy peach, she made her way back down to the tub. Trying to brush the clumps of dirt from between her toes was a task in and of itself. She tossed her chemise onto the wicker chair next to the tub. The long skirt she had been wearing quickly followed.
The water was refreshing as her body sank under the shimmering surface. The blistering sun had warmed the frigid water, making the soak much more tolerable. She hadn’t realized how exhausted she really was until the moment she lolled her head back against the cool lip of the tub. The shelter from the nearby willow gave enough shade to enjoy the sun without burning in its relentless heat.
The phone rang. Lily leaned over the edge to fish the cell phone from under the pile of clothes in the chair. She watched the numbers scroll across the little screen. The easy cadence of her heartbeat raced as she watched the familiar number flash. She pressed the Talk button. “You called.”