I carry Audie up one of the hills by the house where a weeping willow stands impressive and proud over the property.
As we come closer, a small cross at the base of the tree comes into view. My feelings are conflicted every time I see it.
A high-pitched scream that nearly punctures my eardrum escapes from Audie when she sees her mommy.
Stevie turns, startled, then a huge smile breaks out across her face.
"You were supposed to wait for us." I place Audie on her feet next to Stevie then drop down onto the blanket she's sitting on.
"I know, I'm sorry. I couldn't sleep, and the two of you were just so peaceful." She pulls Audie into her arms and kisses her all over her face as she squirms and giggles. "Morning, princess."
"Where's mine?" I ask expectantly.
Stevie's smile grows. "Right here." She leans over and delivers a heart-stopping, blood-oxidizing kiss.
Mmm
"Am I forgiven?" She bats her long lashes.
"Forgiven, but I hate waking up alone."
"Don't be such a cupcake." She stares me down with those fucking whiskey-colored eyes. The ones that make me drunk and sober me up all at the same time.
My wife's beauty is beyond comparable. Superior to a supermodel. She's ethereal. A living angel right here on Earth. My angel. My angel of light, and goodness, and death.
She's given me everything.
Stevie once told me I made her feel real. Like she wasn't a ghost. She does the same for me and so much more. I thought I was destined to spend this life alone. Invisible, isolated, secluded from the world because I'm not the same as everyone else. But she changed that belief along with my entire life.
She walked through the flames of my embroilment like they weren't even there.
Stevie was "it." I knew it the minute I laid eyes on her. She was meant for me. Chasing after her was the best decision I ever made, despite all my insecurities and worries and afflictions hanging over my head like a gauntlet. I had never pursued anything or anyone the way I pursued her. It was a pivotal moment.
As pivotal as the moment I thought I lost her. A part of Stevie did die that day. The part that bound her to an existence she never wanted. A life that was so opposite to who she truly wanted to be. Today is the one-year anniversary of that night. The night she took matters into her own hands to preserve not only her family, but the machine that made her what she is, or should I say, was. All three of us were supposed to come up here together and watch the sun rise over her cross. It's something she likes to do, and she does it often.
Stevie paid her debt in spades, and now she's free. We both are. I finally passed over my title to its rightful successor. Gianni has always been the boss in one respect or another. Even when my grandfather was alive, stepping in while he was on his death bed. I never did understand why the old man chose me over him.
"Baz! Oh, she's trying to walk!" Stevie holds out her hands as Audie balances on her chubby legs. "Where's your phone? Take a video."
"I didn't bring it. We're completely unplugged."
"Shoot!" Audie takes one small step toward Stevie and then lands on her butt. She claps happily.
"So close, munchkin." Stevie scoops her up into her arms. "You're growing up too fast." She cuddles her sadly.
"We could always have another one." I offhandedly suggest, picking at some grass.
Stevie tries to hide her elation behind Audie's blonde head. "You want another one?"
"Don't you?"
"I want ten," she confesses.
"Ten?" I laugh.
"Okay, maybe three," Stevie negotiates.
"Maybe three," I contemplate, looking out contentedly over the miles of green grass, meadows of colorful flowers, and hills as far as the eye can see.
"Maybe we can sneak in some baby-making time before everyone gets here."
I slide my eyes over to my wife. She's completely irresistible. And devious. And I love the way she thinks.
"Time for your nap, baby," I inform Audie.
"She just woke up." Stevie giggles. "We're going to have to tire her out."
"Then I can tire you out?"
"Yes, then you can tire me out." She kisses me, a soft, lingering kiss full of promise.
"Mommy has the prettiest dress for you to wear for your birthday party. You're going to look so pretty for Mimi, and Aunt Claudia and Aunt Gianna, Uncle Gianni, and cousin RJ." Stevie raises Audie over her head joyously, her long, platinum hair glowing in sun's golden rays. She really is an angel, even if she doesn't believe it. She's my spiritual being.
Technically, Audie's first birthday was three weeks ago, but she came down with an ear infection, so we pushed the party back until today. It's going to be a celebration of many kinds. Birth, death, new beginnings, love.