"You were sleeping with him." He doesn't yell. He doesn't explode. He does something so much worse. He shuts down. Baz flings the box on the ground, and the pictures scatter everywhere. Pictures of me wearing trashy lingerie in my apartment as I straddle Benny.
"Baz." I have no words. Benny photographed us, and I didn't even know it. But Regina did. She's the only one who could have sent these. I guess since ratting me out didn't work, ruining my marriage was the next best thing.
She's been plotting this whole time, waiting for the perfect moment to destroy us. And this was perfect. Nothing else could set Baz off worse than finding out his new wife slept with the father he despises. It's the perfect recipe for disaster.
This isn't just about Baz anymore. It's about me, too. I turned my back on G, and she's getting her revenge on both of us. Spiteful bitch.
Baz shoots out of his seat without a word. Hurt, anger, betrayal, rage, and a whole host of other expressions contorting his face. Then he takes off toward the house.
I glance around the table, my cheeks so hot it feels as if someone has taken a blowtorch to them.
I excuse myself to go after him.
"Baz!" I waddle across the grass as fast as I can. Ugh, I wish I could just run. "Baz, please wait." I catch up to him just before he reaches the sliding glass doors.
"Baz, please." I huff, supporting my stomach.
"What else are you fucking keeping from me, Stevie?" he spins around and yells. Loud enough I'm sure the neighbors heard.
"Nothing. I swear."
"How can I believe you? My father." The disdain is there. "Of all people. You know how I feel about him. You know what he did to me."
"Which is exactly why I didn't tell you. I didn't want to hurt you. What happened with Benny is in the past."
"What exactly did happen with him, Stevie? What's the real fucking story?" He stalks toward me.
It's the question I've been dreading, and one Baz never asked. I think deep down we both wanted to avoid it. I would have gladly done so for the rest of my life. "Did you love him, Stevie?" The pain is excruciatingly prevalent. I reside not to lie. It just makes everything worse.
"Yes. I loved him." Baz visibly sags. "But not the way I love you."
"And how the fuck is that?"
"I loved Benny out of loyalty. Out of respect. Out of fear. How a scared, love-starved child would love an attentive adult. It was a security blanket. It didn't touch my soul."
"So, you fucked him as gratitude?"
"That's not fair."
"No, you're right. None of this is fucking fair. Finding out on my wedding night that my wife was having an affair with my father is not fair."
"Baz, what I have with you and what I had with Benny is completely different."
"How so?"
"Because you were my choice! My first real choice in ten years. I gave you something I never gave him."
"Access to your ass?" Baz is lucky I can take a sucker punch to the face.
I seethe. "No, you asshole. My heart. Benny was never interested in that. I thought I loved him, but then I met you and realized what true love really is. I love you, Baz."
"Do you realize that's the first time you've ever said that to me?"
"What? That I love you?"
"Yes. You've never actually said it."
"I had to have said it," I argue.
"Never, Stevie. My mind works funny like that." He taps his temple. "I keep track of those stupid kinds of things. And you've never said it until now."
"I was going to say it on the altar, but the minister interrupted us."
Baz just stares down at me coldly.
"Everything was moving so fast. I was experiencing feelings that I never felt before. I was processing at the same speed I was living. If I didn't tell you, it wasn't because I didn't want to. Or that I didn't love you. I just wanted it to be right. I don't let my emotions flow freely. I was taught that was wrong. A sign of weakness, and weakness was punished in the house I grew up in."
My statement seems to register with Baz. He knows exactly what I'm talking about. Benny rejected him because he was different. Because he had issues that were beyond his control. Because those issues were seen as a weakness.
"Tell me, Stevie. I want to know everything. The whole goddamn story."
"Right now? Here?" We're standing under the deck, next to another outdoor living area with black-and-white pinstriped cushions, an outdoor kitchen set in stone, and a flat screen TV.
"Right fucking here and right fucking now." He crosses his arms, planted in place.
"Fine. If you want to know, I'll tell you everything." No point in keeping any more secrets. "When I was fourteen, I was living on the street and pickpocketed this guy in front of Cipriani's. I thought I got away scot-free, but he tracked me down. Pulled me into a dark alleyway and basically taught me lesson."