Gentling the Cowboy(45)
He lifted her by the waist and crushed her hungrily against the wall. Without clothing to remove, there was just the instant feel of their mutual excitement. “God,” he said against her neck, “what are you doing to me?”
Sarah silenced his question with another deep kiss and let her actions be her answer. She wrapped her legs around his waist and arched to give him access to all of her, which he quickly and extensively took advantage of.
When he finally rammed inside her it was without comment, control, or a condom. Just when Sarah thought it couldn’t get better, she felt the unobstructed intimacy of him bared, and the heat of his release within her.
He kept pumping after his release so she could have hers and then carried her back to the bed. He sat her on the uncluttered side of the bed and covered his face with his hands. “Tell me you’re on birth control.”
Sarah stood and placed a hand on his tense arm. “I am,” she said softly.
His muscles quivered beneath her touch and he shook his head, fighting some inner demon. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine. I’m an adult, Tony. This is just as much my responsibility as it is yours.”
“It can’t happen again. I don’t want children—ever.”
Ouch. After the initial desire to slap him in the head passed, Sarah tossed back a barb of her own. “Because you’d have to talk to them, right?”
When he didn’t say anything, she dropped her hand and shook her head.
He walked to his pile of clothes and started getting dressed wordlessly. “Bringing you here was a mistake.”
Arms akimbo, Sarah waited for him to turn around. When he did, she stood there, still proudly nude before him. He might be afraid, but I’m not. “I’m not running away from this. I’m choosing life—all of it, the good, the bad, the scary parts. I’m done hiding.”
His face tightened with anger. He growled, “What do you want from me?”
In that desperate question, she heard what kept her heart open to him. She understood his pain and his journey in a way she doubted many others could. Giving up on him was like giving up on herself in a tangled, impossible-to-explain-even-to-herself way. “I want you to tell me whatever it was that made you like this. I want to know you.”
Their eyes clashed across the short distance between them.
When he spoke, his harsh tone was in direct contrast to his words. “Get dressed then, because I doubt we’ll get much talking done with you standing there like that.”
Sarah turned her face to the side and hid a smile behind her hair. Score one for the Yankee. She quickly slipped into her clothing and went to stand next to him, boldly taking his hand in hers.
He turned away and walked out the door, but his hand tightened on hers as he dragged her behind him down the steps and out into the bright late-morning sunshine. They walked together down a rugged path that made Sarah glad she’d chosen to wear sneakers instead of boots. He stopped when they reached a small clearing that boasted a crystal-clear mountain stream.
“This is where I come when I need to think . . . or forget.”
Tony let go of her hand and picked up a rock to throw angrily into the stream. “You know that feeling you get when you first start driving a car on your own? At first you’re nervous, then you get more and more confident until you feel invincible. That’s how I’d describe my career until about five years ago. I came from nothing, you know? No one expected anything from me. I moved out of my father’s house at sixteen. I was working on a cattle ranch when I won a green horse in a poker game. The ranch owner let me keep him at his place and watched me work with him. Pretty soon, he had me training all his horses. I quickly gained a reputation for taking horses from green to champion in everything from racing to the rodeo circuit. People wanted to see what I did, so I booked shows at expos and fairs. Before long, I was getting offers to work with high-profile horses. Some went on to win their owners millions.”
Sarah joined him by the water and simply listened.
“The money came fast and easy after that. Rich people like to win. It made for a very profitable exchange. By the time I was in my early twenties, I was getting jobs all over the world. I could have bought and sold my ranch a hundred times over. Race horses. Barrel racers. The foundation is the same. A willing horse can be taught anything. I’ve always been able to bring a level of trust out in a horse that others couldn’t.”
“Because you care about them,” Sarah said.
“No, because I understand them. I always have. It’s not something I can put into words.”
Sarah wanted to ask more about the topic, to debate his claim not to care, but she was afraid he’d shut down if she did. She let him tell his own story, at his own pace.