Garrett(83)

I know exactly what she means. Since meeting Olivia, I feel like blinders have been taken off my eyes. Things seem brighter, funnier, happier. Sex is off-the-charts mind-blowing and I feel a fullness inside me that I haven’t felt before.

Yeah…I know exactly what she means. I feel more alive than ever, and it’s due solely to the woman in my arms.





Chapter 24


Olivia


“God, I fucking hate this,” Garrett says in a voice so low, I almost don’t hear him.

I lace my fingers through his and squeeze. “Me too.”

We walk slowly up the sidewalk to Zack and Gina’s house. I hate to even let the thought cross my brain, but I can’t help but relish how handsome Garrett looks in a suit. I usually only see him in super casual clothes likes jeans and T-shirts, or his hockey gear…which yeah, he’s super-hot in that too. But even as somber as it has been today, when Garrett showed up at my apartment to pick me up for the funeral, I involuntarily sighed over the fitted cut of his dark, charcoal-gray suit with a silver-blue tie. Even with his sad eyes that spoke of a heavy heart, he was still like a ray of light on a dark day.

Gina’s funeral capped off the end of a terribly bitter week.

Zack was released from the hospital on Monday morning, so Garrett and Alex headed over to his house to visit him. Garrett came to Fleurish that afternoon, clearly distraught. I tried to ask him how it went, how Zack and Benjamin were, but he was light on details and heavy on the grumpiness. He snapped at me that he didn’t want to talk about it, and I got it. I totally understood. That night, after he made love to me, he apologized even while he was still lodged inside me.

“I’m really sorry I was an ass today. I just wasn’t ready to talk about it,” he said before rolling off me and pulling me into his arms.

“It’s okay. I understood,” I assured him.

Garrett was silent for a moment, then I felt a shudder run through him. “You should have seen Zack. He’s like a zombie. He’s there, but not really. It’s like his eyes are dead or something.”

My stomach sort of curled in on itself from the horrified awe in Garrett’s voice. He was really shaken up over this, and although I try not to let my thoughts wander in a certain direction, I couldn’t help but think: Is that how Garrett would be if something happened to me?

Probably not to that extent, because Zack and Gina had years together…they had a child together. We had only a few months. But what if we stayed together? What if I died after we were together several years? Is it fair to make Garrett suffer that type of pain and misery? Am I wrong and selfish to keep him?

My own body shuddered with the possibility and my heart was uneasy.

The rest of the week went by in a blur. The Cold Fury played at home on Tuesday and I had tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat when the team skated out onto the ice, each with a black armband on to honor Gina. The announcer asked for a minute of silence from the fans, and I saw signs everywhere that said things like WE LOVE YOU, ZACK and SO SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS and COLD FURY UNITED.

Now, in most circumstances, the fact that this team lost a valuable player as well as a loved one from the ranks would probably shake up even the strongest of confidence. But the opposite seemed to have occurred. The guys went out there and played like they were on fire. Their body checks were harder, their passes crisper, and their execution near flawless. They beat New York 7–1 in a complete and utter blowout. And sadly, that night, Garrett couldn’t even work up a smile over the victory.

Because Gina’s funeral was scheduled for Friday, the team did, in fact, cancel their Thursday away game against Pittsburgh and added a makeup game onto the schedule a few months down the road. I spent my days working at Fleurish while Garrett had team practices and workouts. He went to see Zack twice more, and twice more he was upset over how destroyed Zack seemed to be. I assured Garrett that, in time, he would be able to move on, and not to give up hope.

Garrett stayed over at my apartment every night this week, and there seemed to be more intensity in our lovemaking. It was almost as if Garrett was desperately seeking to immerse himself in something that would make him feel good and alive. He held my gaze longer and hotter, he touched me all over, and when I didn’t think I could bear any more, he’d start all over. His words as he moved inside me were whispered and urgent, almost as if I wouldn’t understand the truth of his feelings. All of this was both pleasing and disconcerting to me at the same time. Pleasing because I’ve felt more connected to him than ever before, and yet it also made me uneasy because I’m afraid Garrett is focusing on the frailty of life. Maybe Gina’s life, maybe mine. Probably both.