Game of Love(3)

“I can’t believe you’re here,” he said, sliding into the seat across from her. “It’s been—”

“Too long.” Ellie cleared her throat to strengthen her voice. She didn’t want to rehash the details of when she’d come to see him four years earlier. She’d fought the painful memories day in and day out, tried to forget the weekend ever happened—Oh, how I tried to forget. But she could no sooner forget a day with Dex, much less the best weekend of her life. She hadn’t even been brave enough to return the few messages he’d left, trying to figure out why she’d gone away. The thought of hearing the pain in his voice was too much. She’d had to leave. She’d had to separate herself from him. Dex was better off without her hanging around his neck like a needy, fucked-up noose.

She dropped her eyes to the table, barely able to breathe past the guilt of what she’d done. He was right there with her again. He was always there for her—and she was always soaking him in, taking the comfort he had to give. And breaking his beautiful heart. She kept her eyes trained on the table to keep from…what? Begging for forgiveness? Crawling into his arms and telling him how much she loved him? How he’d scared the living shit out of her four years earlier when he’d professed his love for her? Fuck. There was nothing she could say to fix what she’d done, and she was in no position to make up excuses or promise a damned thing, which was why she hadn’t had the courage to call him when she’d decided to return to New York. She’d worried that he wouldn’t want to see her again after the way she’d left the last time. The way she’d always left, without so much as a goodbye.

“Four years,” he reminded her.

She cringed. It was silly of her to think he’d let her off the hook for leaving without saying goodbye. For not answering his desperate attempts to reach her. For not explaining why she’d left. As she looked at him now, she didn’t see any such demand in his eyes. Then again, Dex had never demanded a thing of her.

He reached across the table and touched her fingertips.

Ellie stared at his hand, desperately wanting to answer the pull in her heart and take his hand in hers. Dex’s hand had been her lifeline on too many nights to count, but now she didn’t reach for his fingers. She couldn’t. It would be too easy to crawl into the safety of him and allow herself to soak up the comfort he’d surely provide—and too easy to forget that she came with even more baggage now, tangled all around her like a wicked web. She was a different woman than Dex had known before. A stronger woman. Even if it hurt like hell to be strong sometimes. Even if looking at Dex, knowing how badly she’d hurt him, sliced her heart wide open.

Dex made no move to pull his hand away. “What are you doing in New York?”

Running away. “Applying for teaching jobs.” Ellie wanted to pour her heart out to Dex and let him erase the hurt of the last few weeks and help her to start fresh. She needed to forget, but Ellie sucked at forgetting. That was part of what made her strong. Remembering every shitty thing that had ever happened to her allowed her to never fall into the same circumstances twice. Of course, running away helped, too.

“So you did it.”

Dex’s lips curved into a smile that said so much more than he was happy for her. He’d believed in her when no one else had. God, she missed that. God, I’ve missed you. He leaned back. His rumpled black T-shirt clung snuggly to his chest. Tattoos snaked down his left arm. New tattoos that she hadn’t seen before. Ellie felt a stirring down low in parts of her that had been quiet for a very long time, which confused the hell out of her because she and Dex hadn’t progressed to being those kinds of friends in the past. Although, had she stayed…No. She wouldn’t think about that. His eyes never wavered from hers, and as Dex’s long fingers trailed away from hers, she longed for them to return.

“Yeah. I made it, Dex.” She met his gaze and shook her head, feeling her own lips wanting to smile and hesitating. The tension in her shoulders eased. “Some days I can barely believe it, but I have the paper to prove it. I’ve got a master’s in minority and urban education from the University of Maryland. They gave me a scholarship, which was really helpful.” Pride swelled in her chest alongside the familiar comfort of being with Dex that she was trying not to allow herself to enjoy. He had a way of doing that to her. Sneaking comfort in through the cracks in her armor.

“I never had any doubt,” he said.

“I heard about Thrive. I guess all those years of tinkering paid off.” She remembered many nights when she’d crawl through his window to find him wearing nothing but boxers and sitting beside a stack of technical books and magazines. She’d maneuver around memory boards and computer paraphernalia, articles and notebooks. God, there were always notebooks scattered about his bedroom floor. He’d lift his arm, and she’d crawl in bed beside him and settle into the safety of him. His arm would drop to her shoulder and he’d pull her close while he read, and she calmed her nerves or slept. Or sometimes, she just breathed in the security of him.

Dex nodded. “Yeah. It’s a nice gig.”

Nice gig. That was so like him, downplaying his success. She’d seen his picture on the front of Gamer magazine several times over the past few years. One of her fifth-grade students had written a report about him right before she’d left Maryland. It had been a well-written report, noting not only his multimillion-dollar business but also his double degree in computer science and mathematics from Cornell. At the time, she’d thought about contacting him, but given the way her life had been unraveling with each breath, she hadn’t wanted to cast her chaos onto him again. Not after they’d shared that weekend together and she’d realized just what Dex had meant to her—which scared the shit out of her at the same time.

Not after she’d run.

She always ran.

And now here he sat, making time for her once again while she ran away from the shit storm caused by dating a man she hadn’t known was married—a man who had hurt her both emotionally and physically. God, she couldn’t let Dex know. Right after he killed the asshole, he’d probably look at her differently, even though she hadn’t known he was married. She couldn’t be seen as a victim again. It was too damn hard. Goddamn Bruce Kellerman. She was done with men. She pushed the thought of Bruce aside. She had bigger problems to deal with, like trying to get a job and find an apartment, not to mention making it through the night worrying about some strange guy in the next room.

“Hey, do you have time for a drink?”

No. I need to find Dina’s place, and I…hell. The familiar comfort of being with Dex was too good to ignore. “Yeah, sounds good.”

Dex flagged down a waitress and ordered a beer, then lifted his eyebrows to Ellie. “Rum and Coke?”

She rolled her eyes. “God, am I still that high schoolish?” She wished she could order something more adult, like a cosmo, a manhattan, or a martini, but the truth was, her high school taste for rum and Coke had stayed with her like white on rice. “Yeah, bring it on.” She might as well relax and enjoy the evening. Her first interview wasn’t until ten the following morning, so even if she stayed out a little late catching up with Dex, she’d have time to sleep in.





Chapter Three


DEX COULD HARDLY believe Ellie was there in front of him, and damn, she looked more beautiful than ever. He’d thought she’d disappeared forever when they were teenagers and she’d been sent away to a new foster home. He’d been devastated about her leaving, but when he’d gone to her house the day she was supposed to leave and found she’d left without saying goodbye, he’d been completely inconsolable. She’d stolen his heart as a teenager, but until she’d shown up four years ago, he hadn’t realized how much he’d still loved her. In one brief weekend she’d filled his heart so full he thought he’d died and gone to heaven, and just as quickly as she’d reignited his love, she’d shattered his heart and left him a broken man. Ellie wasn’t safe. She was Kryptonite. She’d only bring him more pain. But he’d never been able to walk away from her, and as he drank her in, intoxicated from just being near her again, he was powerless to turn away.

Two drinks later, the tension around her eyes eased, and he saw hints of the softer side of her, the side she’d hidden from the world but that he’d known so well. He wondered if anyone else had gotten into those places in her heart over the years.

“Why New York?” His stomach did a little tumble of hope. Did you come back to see me?

Ellie shrugged, fiddling with the rim of her glass. “Roots, I guess. I spent more years in New York than anywhere else, with the exception of college, of course.”

“How was Maryland?” Dex knew he was walking on eggshells. At their closest, Ellie hadn’t talked about the harsh realities of her life. When the foster family she’d lived with treated her badly, she’d gone mute. She’d cuddled beside Dex without a word. It didn’t take long for him to recognize the faraway look in Ellie’s eyes for what it was. She’d been running back then, too, only she’d been running emotionally, not physically. Back then he’d wanted to understand what had driven her into that muted, unhappy state—what he’d come to know as her silent place. He’d gone to her house late one night and peered through the windows. Listening through the thin walls of the rambler, he’d heard yelling, and at the time, Dex had wished his older brothers, Sage, Kurt, Rush, and Jack, had been there to knock the shit out of her foster father, but Jack had joined the military, Rush was off training for the Olympics, and Kurt and Sage had been away at college. Only Dex and Siena were still living at home, and when he’d finally found the courage to ask Ellie about it, she’d shut him out. That had been the first and only time he’d brought it up. Sitting with Ellie now, he wondered if she’d shut him out or let him in.