It wasn’t real, he reminded himself. And yet it was the most real thing in his life right now. Emily was the most real thing in his life.
He tamped down on his wayward desire and leveled her with an even look so she would not sense his turmoil. “Yes, habibti?”
She twisted her fingers together in front of her. He was learning that Emily contained depths of emotion he’d never suspected. And part of how she kept it in check was with her nervous fidgeting.
“I was just wondering how you are.”
He sat and leaned his head back against the soft cushions of the couch that perched on one side of the courtyard. “Well enough. You?”
She came over and stood nearby, though she did not sit. “I’m all right. The tea with the governing council wives was somewhat awkward.”
He felt as if he should apologize. But what would be the point? They both knew why she was here. If only Rashid would come, the plan would work perfectly. “I am certain you managed it with aplomb.”
She blew out a breath. “It wasn’t that bad, truly. A couple of them don’t seem to care for me, but the others...well, some of them are quite nice. They seem to understand how strange this must be for me as an outsider.”
He looked up and met her soft green gaze. He had asked a lot of her in coming here. And he’d not prepared her nearly well enough. “You must despise me.”
“No, of course not.”
He sat forward, his eyes searching hers. “It’s all right. You can admit it.”
She sighed. “I don’t despise you, Kadir. I actually like some of the people I’ve met. It hasn’t been nearly as bad as I thought it would be. But I hate deceiving them. I’ll be glad when it’s over.” As if she realized what she’d just said, her mouth snapped closed. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that. For this to be over, your father—”
He stood and put a finger over her lips, silencing her. Her mouth was soft but he resisted the urge to slide his finger along her lips. Somehow, he resisted. “I understand what you mean. And I share the sentiment.”
Her eyes were troubled. “I shouldn’t have said it.”
He tilted his head back and gazed up at the slice of blue sky visible above the walls and minarets. There was no point in hiding the truth from her. “I am going to be king. It’s inevitable.”
Because Rashid wasn’t coming, their father was slipping in and out of consciousness with more regularity, and the council was growing restless with the uncertainty of the situation. Kadir had to act before the council splintered under the strain.
He heard her pull in a breath. “Oh, Kadir. I tried to be unsuitable, I really did. But sometimes I’ve just been me, and that clearly hasn’t been enough.”
Her head was bowed, her hands clenched into fists. He tipped her chin up and forced her to look at him. “You have not failed, Emily. You’ve done a brilliant job.” He ground his teeth in frustration. “It is I who have failed. And it’s time to accept my fate and get on with it.”
She was looking at him with an admiration he didn’t expect. “You’ll be an excellent king.”
He wanted to laugh. “You have no reason to think so. You are being kind.”