"Your love is infectious," Gian says in a mock accusatory tone. "Now they caught it, I think you're right," Gian nods, indicating how close they are dancing.
Margot is blushing. She never blushes.
We dance all night, until all our guests are tuckered out, and I'm exhausted. Gian carries me off to the elevator and I'm so beat, I fall right asleep in his arms.
To think I used to lie awake at night, wondering if I could make rent, and now I can fall asleep in the elevator up to the penthouse suite I share with my husband.
I didn't need a big wedding. I had no big honeymoon plans. I had a very big love, and it was enough to fill every empty space in my heart.
15
Lucy
Coming back from a night of dancing usually winds me all up, but tonight is different. Because I knew that Gian was going to be busy with meetings all day, I kind of wanted to keep the home fires warm instead of doing anything else. I took a bath and read, then listened to music. It was so strange to be able to do this, but I quit my job at the diner after I saw how much I made dancing. The truth was that Gian made it very clear that I'd never have to work again. But I didn't want that. I wanted to be able to do what I wanted and make money for me. But today I didn't want to dance, didn't feel like hanging out with anyone. I wouldn't need it to be so excited for Gian's arrival. In fact, I think that would've been too much for me. Today I needed to relax.
Because before this life I have now … I don't remember when I could just relax. I have time to do things like read novels. Reading a whole novel can take so many hours I almost froze myself to death in the tub, lingering long after the warmth, getting caught up in the story. It's so nice to be able to relax. I enjoy rubbing fancy creams and lotions all over my body, taking care to do my hair even though I was staying inside. I even did my makeup - though not as extravagant as if I was going on stage, I found that I wanted to look as beautiful as I possibly good for Gian when he came home.
Home.
That's what I think of this suite as. I considered asking Gian for my own place when our arrangement first began. But I haven't really wanted that since … since he fucked me like he did and showed me a side of him that I didn't know could exist. I wanted to be near him. I like that when he's not here and I am, the sheets still have his scent on them. I like that living in the same suite as him means that most nights, we sleep side by side. Or, as I prefer, in Gian's arms.
I have an attachment to Gian like I've never had before. The truth is, I've never been close to anyone before Gian. I had no relationships. My brother was the only person in my life and he kept me at a distance to cope with his own problems. Never, ever, could I keep a friend for long. They thought I was weak. They didn't share my interests.
People always have reasons for not wanting to be in my life, or I have reasons to not want others in my life.
Yet, here I am. The girls at the club, the girls at the spa … I think of them as true friends now. And Gian … he's like a boyfriend in a really twisted way. He may not be my ‘boyfriend' but I know that I'm his girl. I can't believe my strange little life.
And I kind of love it.
I like having my own little world with him. That's really why I wanted to stay in today. I took some kind of strange pleasure in the idea that today, only Gian would see me. And I don't know if I should tell him that because I know he's not thrilled with the fact that I've decided to take up dancing on a pole in his club … but even though I enjoy that, I also enjoy being his. He is as close to understanding both as I think he's ever going to, so I'll just not press the issue or bring it up.
When the evening starts to wind down, I expect that Gian will arrive any time now. Instead of wearing any fancy lingerie, I opted instead to be completely naked for his arrival. I think there's bound to be some level of excitement for that on his part. I grab a glass and a bottle of wine from the bar. It's always so well stocked, but I haven't seen Gian drink from the bar or drink alcohol anywhere else since the night I met him and offered myself up to him.
Maybe it's a coincidence. But maybe it isn't. I put the alcohol and the wine back and opt to wait for him while opening a second novel to read. I mean, there's no story so compelling that I won't drop it the instant Gian walks in. Except I must've picked the most boring story in the world and I can barely hang on while reading it. Despite doing mostly nothing all day, I find myself yawning and before I know it, I'm asleep, naked, in the bed I share with Gian only now I'm sharing it with a novel from my paperback stack next to the bed.
I wake up much later in the evening to Gian's fingers stroking my chin.
"You must be tired, Luce, you don't have to wake up," Gian says in a low voice. There's some emotion that I don't understand in his voice, and he's never called me Luce before. Only my brother has ever called me that.
Yawning, then wiping the sleep from my eyes, I sit up in bed. "No, this book was just very boring and instead of picking a different one, I apparently let it put me right to sleep," I say with a small laugh.
Gian looks at me, bemused. Only the moonlight illuminates his gorgeous face, but there's something in his eyes that tells me he needs me.
"What is it, Gian? What's wrong?" I ask him. I can't imagine what kept him so long, mostly because I don't know anything about his business. But Gian always seems so unbothered. So in control. It makes me hurt for him to see him any other way.
"Don't you worry about it. You can go back to sleep," Gian says, standing.
Unconsciously, I touch my face where his hand was.
I get up to knees on the bed and look at him. "No, I want you. I've wanted nothing more today than to see you.
Gian's eyes look at my naked body in the moonlight, a sliver of the silver shining over my breasts.
"Well, this is a much better sight than I've had all day," Gian says. He laughs again, smiles, but there's a heaviness in him that I wish I could erase. I wish he would at least share with me what's wrong. "Please, Gian, tell me what's wrong," I say in a soft voice. I don't want to push him if he doesn't want to talk, but the truth is that I'll be very hurt if he doesn't want to tell me what's wrong.
Gian looks at me and the smile over his face breaks through the sadness in his eyes. "I don't even like Luke Gravos, but his wife … she's worse than Terry ever was. Luke and I convinced her to back off, but she really wanted his head. I'm so glad I have you, Lucy. You're more than I could have ever hoped for." Gian's eyes drink me in.
I can't help but smile. Gian can and did open up to me. He trusts me like I trust him. And he needs me.
Gian's hand closes over my breast, and another goes to grasp the back of my neck, holding me as he dips to kiss me. I'm still concerned for him, but this is perhaps how Gian needs me. Physical touch shows more than Gian can ever say, even though he's so open with me. I know that when he opens up to me even a little bit that he's as surprised as I am. That's both flattering and frightening. Because I care so deeply for Gian. I don't want him to be closed off from the world. Most of all, I want him to be able to open up to me.
Right now my lips are parting for him. His knees press apart my thighs to spread my legs while he deepens our kiss. I can't stay steady with the way he's splaying me out for him. His hand on my neck drops to my back. "I've got you," Gian murmurs into my mouth.
Yes, yes he does. The words are a siren song to my soul. Every time he says them, they become more and more true.
First, he had me because of the deal.
Then, he had me because of how quickly he took care of Tommy.
The kiss … that first kiss he gave me fucking undid me in every way.
Now, every time he says he has me, when I might fall because of how he goes after my body, it's my heart and soul that I wonder that he doesn't have. Gian is always on my mind. He already has me there. The other parts of me … well, right now, with his body overtaking mine, it's difficult to think about more.
Difficult, but not impossible. Well, not for much longer. I know that the way that Gian fucks me means I'll barely remember my own name by the time he gets going.
He doesn't even bother getting onto the bed first before getting inside me. His cock is in me so fast that I cry out at the feel of him sliding his thick rod into me. Gian presses me down to the bed, impaling me fully on his cock while he lays down on top of me and lays me down onto the bed.
"I thought only of this, all day," Gian says against my neck. His hips roll and he slams into me with a quick, forceful thrust. I'm already aching for him and the hard way he's started fucking me drives me crazy in all the right ways. "I love driving my cock so deep in your sweet pussy," Gian continues. His words make my nipples ache for him, even though he's already pressing his body against them, I want to press into him harder yet. I need to be closer to him which, as far deep inside of me as he is, is actually difficult. But I'm groaning, aching with need. I use all the strength I have to slam my hips up to meet his thrusts. A wet sound fills the air, the musk of my pussy thick in the air. I'm so damn wet for him, I actually feel my arousal sliding down my thighs. That wet sound when he slams into me is unmistakable.