"Good answer." It earns him another kiss. I will never get sick of his lips caressing mine, I know that now. I do break our seal first. "But since I'm a greedy bitch, I'm gonna hold you to the million tonights. One just ain't gonna cut it." There but for the grace of God.
"We are in full agreement there."
I wasn't wrong about superhero stamina. It is a wondrous thing. The galley, the deck, the shower are all put to very, very good use. It'll be a miracle if I can walk tomorrow. And when we finally wear each other out, I drift to sleep with his naked body pressed against mine and his arms around me.
I dream of a million more nights. For once, may my dreams come true.
*
His absence in our bed stirs me from pleasant dreams. The warmth has vanished, and once again I'm left in the cold. My eyes flutter open. He isn't beside me. He's gone. I immediately jerk upright with a gasp, but my panic subsides when I see him across the room putting on his pants. He pivots around. "Are you alright?"
"What? Yeah," I lie. I smile to reassure him and lay back down. "Fine. What time is it?"
"Almost dawn. I need to get going. I disappeared down a sewer, I have to be seen coming out."
"So, you literally crawled through shit to get to me."
"More like flew over, but yes."
"That is both disgusting and romantic at the same time. Quite difficult to pull off, Dr. Ambrose. Kudos." He smirks before continuing to dress. My smile drops. "I don't want you to go."
"Believe me. I don't want to go," he says, sounding exhausted.
I sit up again, holding the sheet to my chest. "Then don't," I blurt out, shocking even myself. "Let's just…sail. We'll dock upstate in Cumberland, withdraw a shitload of money, buy a new boat with cash, and just go. Disappear. We'll figure out a way to get new identities and start over in New Zealand or somewhere."
"See you put some thought into it."
"Had to do something while I was waiting last night. People without our massive resources do it every day. They just opt out. Vanish and start fresh. Why not us?"
Jem's face falls as he realizes I'm serious. "Joanna…" He lowers himself beside me on the bed. "That is the last resort. We both have people who rely on us. A lot of people. We'd never be able to return. Never. We'd spend our lives constantly glimpsing over our shoulders. And Jordan could very well level the whole city to get us back, if he doesn't find us, which would most likely happen. He has contacts in every city in every country in the world."
"Put some thought into it, huh?"
"I'd be a fool not to. I guarantee you almost every person in my situation has protocols in place should they need to disappear. Even going as far as…faking their death," he says with a quick smile. "In our case, that line has not yet been crossed."
"And if it is?" I ask with a rock in my stomach. "I've thrown everything but the kitchen sink at you, and he still hasn't crawled out. We're down to the last move Jem, and I can't…" I cover my mouth as I swallow the fear and sadness down, "I cannot be the one to destroy you. I can't. And if I out you, it will. Without question. Your career? Gone. Your anonymity? Vanished. Us? How…?" I cover my face with my hands, I guess in an attempt to hide from the situation I've created.
"Hey, hey," Jem says as he peels my hands away. "Look at me." I meet his tender eyes. "I knew what I was agreeing to with this plan. The cost. You laid it out clearly. This is still our last, best hope at apprehending Jordan. I still believe that. We simply have to keep pushing, to the edge if needed. And if that means you revealing everything, then you do it." He squeezes my hands. Hard. "You do it. You do it without hesitation. I will not blame you for what happens. I will not hate you. I could never hate you." He cups my cheek in his bare hand. "I love you."
Those last three words wallop me as if another bomb just went off. My eyes grow double their normal size. "Did-Did you just say what I think you just said?" I ask desperately. "Bec-Because if you just told me you love me, and you don't mean it, you have exactly five seconds to take it back or I will kick your ass, I swear to fucking God I will."
"I'm not taking it back," he says, just as desperately. "I mean it. Every syllable. I love you. I think I've loved you since the first time you smiled at me the night we met. That smile and every one since has brightened my world more than a million suns combined. I think…no, I know I agreed to move here for you. I couldn't get you out of my thoughts, I couldn't. And all the time we've spent together, every single solitary moment it has been the happiest time of my life. Really. You are the first thing I think of in the morning, the last at night, and when I'm not near you, I literally ache for you. I love your strength, your loyalty, your tenacity, the way you kiss, the way you move, even the way your eyes narrow right before you're about to rip someone to shreds. I love you." I'm too stunned to move or even blink. Too much. This is too much to deal with today. "Please. Say something."