After an hour and a half, I give up pacing the deck, staring up at the stars, hoping to catch sight of him as he approached. I go below deck to the stateroom and lie down. It does feel good to know no one's watching me. Even if he doesn't arrive, I will do my damndest to enjoy this. The eye of the storm. On the drive to the dock, I phoned Dobbs and told him I was taking the boat out. I also called V at the paper saying I wanted to give her an important story. Hope I don't have to keep that appointment. I do try to fight it, but with the rocking of the boat, I give into the Sandman.
It's cold, so cold the snow swirls around me in a vortex as the wind howls in agony. In a millisecond, I'm chilled to the bone and not only from the Arctic weather. I sense his eyes on me. When I spin around, all I see is darkness. "Joanna!" I hear Jem call me from inside the frost crystallized labyrinth. Oh. So that's where I am. I recognize it now. I pull my bullet resistant coat Justice gave me around tighter and step inside the midnight black maze without hesitation. I'd step into a volcano if he needed me too.
Twist, turn, Twist, turn. It has more avenues than I remember. The moment I move down one, another maneuvers me even deeper. Twist, turn. Twist, turn. Minutes that feel like hours pass as I make what feels like a hundred course changes. And the walls. With every step, they grow tighter and taller until I can barely see the top. After what must be half a chilling hour, I must stop my pilgrimage or my knees will buckle. This is pointless. I'm getting nowhere.
But he's getting closer.
The bastard's mimicked my footsteps so I can't hear him, but I know he's there. Stalking me. Waiting for me to fall. To crumble. I hear him breathing around the corner. In, out, in, out like a pervert on the other end of a phone. Me, his prey, remains still, holding the air in my lungs. He knows I know. A second later, I hear the crackling of snow as he takes a step. Shit. I take off again as fast as I'm capable of into the labyrinth with him only a few feet behind. I want to look back, but I don't dare. Every millisecond counts.
"Joanna!" Jem yells again.
Just make it to the center. He'll save me. Don't give up, never give up, just get to the center. The tears on my face freeze as icicles, and I don't even wipe them away.
It just won't end. It never ends.
Hours. I've been running for hours. It's the same. It all looks the same. My ankles feel like they're made of glass and about to shatter. Keep going, just keep going. He won't stop. I won't stop. I just need to reach Jem. He'll be there. Just please let it end. I've run long enough. I'm so tired. It needs to end. He'll get me. I've worked too hard for the bastard to get me now. It isn't fair. All I want is to get to the center. To him. I've earned it.
"Joanna!" I'm close. He's so close now. And I see it! The light amid the darkness. The center. If I had breath to whimper, I would. "Joanna!"
It ends.
I've found it. The center. It's glorious. So vast compared to what came before. The lights on the ground make the snow almost twinkle like fine diamonds. A winter wonderland. "Jem?" I ask with a grin. But he's not here. No one's here. No. No. He has to be here. I sprint all around the circle, checking every shadow, but he's gone. It was all a trick. He was never here. NO!
"Joanna," Jem whispers behind me as light as the wind.
I twirl around, but my smile becomes a silent scream. Justin, my phantom, stands a foot away as he was in my last memory. Caked in blood, skin blistering with pus from acid, missing a hand, face bruised and pulpy from the beating Alkaline gave him. But his eyes are what fill me with unspeakable terror. As cold as this night. No one has stared at me with this much ire, this much scorn in my life. That I'm substandard. Inhuman. Despicable. Then I blink, and it's Jem in the same horrific state, a shell of a man drowning in spite. I blink again. He's gone. They're both gone. And I'm all alone in the cold wasteland.
Tears still stream down from my eyes when I wake, the sobs wracking my body as I curl into a ball. But it takes a moment for me to realize someone's holding me, shushing me while he pets my hair. I cling to him tighter. I open my eyes and through the tears see Jem in full costume except for the cowl. He's perched on the edge of the bed, cradling me in his lap as if I were a child. "Don't cry," he whispers. "Why are you crying?"
"You weren't there. Then you hated me," I whimper.
"I'm right here." He hugs me tighter. "I'm right here. It was just a nightmare."
I force myself to calm down, each stroke of my hair wiping the misery to a manageable level. It was a dream. Just a dream. "I didn't think you were coming."
"Neither did I," he says. He stops stroking my hair. "Here."