Galilee Rising(42)

"No, I'm fine," he says still yawning. "Sorry. I didn't get home until three last night." He turns away toward the horizon. "One of my patients on the drug protocol was admitted last night. He's fine, though."

"That's good," I say with my own yawn. "Look, you've got me doing it now too."

He looks back at me with a grin. "What about you? Tired?"

"Yeah. I had a work emergency come up too that took some time. I had to go into the office and…" I meet his eyes, and the rest of the lie vanishes from my head. The sincerity in those pools of dark blue sort of infects me. "No, I'm not doing this."

"What?"

"I was going to lie to you," I say with an awkward smile. "I don't want to do that. I don't want any major secrets between us, they just poison the relationship. Justin never told me about Justice, and it almost destroyed us. That's not gonna happen here. So…for the past month and a half, I've been working with the Royal Triumvirate. I just do research, I'm not in the line of fire or anything."

"Oh," he says, glimpsing away again.

"Like I said, it's a part of my life, and I felt that you should know."

"Well, thank you for trusting me with your secret," he says sadly.

"You're welcome." I pause to find the right words. "And you can trust me with yours, whatever they may be."

He simply stares in the direction of the setting sun. "I know."

We sit in silence for a few seconds as the boat gently rocks. "I have another confession to make," I finally say.

"Another one?" he asks with a raised eyebrow.

"Last one, I promise," I say with a half smile. "When you were in the shower I snooped around. I couldn't help myself, I'm sorry."

"I know. Well, I assumed. Discover anything of interest?"

"Few dead bodies, your porn collection, women's underwear in your size, the usual," I say, which garners another dimpled smile. "No, just books and photos."

"The ones in the shoe-box?"

"Yeah." I pause. "You were a cute kid. I really liked the one of you and your brother with the nanny by the pond. You seemed so happy."

"That was Nanny Lynn. She was our favorite governess, mostly because she'd sneak us candy and let us watch television with her. I still record that soap opera. Uma used to laugh when Rebecca and I discussed the characters and ridiculous storylines."

"You weren't allowed candy or TV?"

"Only educational shows. Father was convinced the brain could only hold so much information, therefore he didn't want us filling our heads with trivialities. And sugar made us hyperactive and unable to concentrate. Lynn was with us three years before Jordan let our extra-curriculars be known. She was fired on the spot."

"Holy shit, I'm sorry." I scoff. "And I thought my childhood was fucked up."

"It wasn't all bad."

"At least you had your brother, right?"

He turns away again. "Yeah."

"You don't talk about him very much," I observe. "Did you have a falling out or something?"

"Or something." He pauses. "He didn't approve of my marrying Uma."

"Why? Because she was Indian?"

"No, because he was jealous. All we had was one another, then he turned his back and I had someone else. After her death, the few times we've seen each other, we're…combative at best." He glances back at me. "If you don't mind, I don't wish to talk about this anymore."

"Of course. Sorry."

"Nothing to be sorry about. It's perfectly natural to be curious. He's just not worthy of our time."

I have a trillion other questions but refrain. "Okay."

We sit across from one another and pick at our food in uncomfortable silence. After about fifteen seconds, he tosses his fork down with a sigh. "You have to understand, the conditions of our childhood were intolerable. We were isolated, constantly made to believe we had to be perfect, pushed to our limits, it was tantamount to torture and lasted the whole of our childhood. Our only refuges were our imaginations and one another. Us against the world, but it wasn't the real world. When we finally ventured out, left our microcosms, he floundered and attempted to take me under with him. I didn't much enjoy college, but I loved what I was studying and knew all would be worthwhile in the end. That was my first betrayal, not dropping out with him. Afterwords, I didn't see him for years. There was the odd phone call or postcard, but nothing substantial until our parents funeral. We reconnected but he was traveling the world, doing God knows what, and I was in college. We spent summers and holidays together, phoned at least once a week, but I sensed he desired more. It was working until I met Uma. Then the snide comments became outright rudeness and open hostility. He vanished again after a huge fight. A few months later, he reappeared after hearing of our engagement, acting as if nothing had happened, all smiles and apologies. He was brilliant after she died and seemed genuinely sorry for my loss. I soon learned it was all an act."