"You're still in love with him."
"Probably about as much as you're still in love with your fiancée. Just because they're gone doesn't mean they take the love with them. He was my soul mate. As long as I breathe he's in here with me, and I am doing my damnedest to remember that. I lost sight of that in the darkness for awhile, and I won't let that happen again."
There's only the sound of our footsteps for seconds until he says, "You're right. About the dimming. Your entire perception of life shifts when true evil touches your life. When Uma died, I just fled. I didn't tell anyone where or even that I was going. I packed a bag and took the first flight away. I spent some months in India because it was where I felt closest to her. She was from there. My lost year where all I did was walk, meditate, and do whatever I could to regain that light back by answering the fundamental question of life. Why?"
"You find the answer?"
"Of course not. Because there is no answer." His eyes move down. "All I do know is that as wretched as it was, her death was part of my path. It set in motion the rest of my life. If she hadn't died I never would have…gone on to do all I have. 'It is always darkest before the dawn.'" We step out of the labyrinth. With a proud smile, he says, "See? Trust. Just follow the path, and you will find yourself right where you are supposed to be."
"I believe you," I say with a matching smile.
We just stand there grinning like idiots with only a foot between us. Then our eyes meet, and the smiles stretch as long as the equator. I feel it again, that spark of recognition, and damned if it doesn't make me feel close to happy. And scared shitless. The air, the night, the world grows still and silent as if the universe has ground to a halt. Judging from the way he's gazing at me, whatever this is I'm not alone in its glow. Oh…hell.
The spell is broken a second later when a waiter rushes over to us. "Excuse me, are you Miss Fallon?"
Thank the Lord. "Yes. Why?"
He pulls out a piece of paper. "A woman in a tuxedo told me to give this to you."
"Thank you." I open the note to read it. Dearest, we had to leave. Brendan got sick and we couldn't find you. Please don't be mad. Will make it up to you. Ciao, Lexie. "Shit."
"What?" Jem asks.
"My friends ditched me. I don't have a ride home."
"Oh." He pauses. "Well, I-I can drive you home. It's not a problem."
"Are you sure?"
"Absolutely," he says with another grin. "I insist. It's not every night I get to rescue a damsel in distress."
I bite my lower lip. Bad idea, Jo. Very bad idea. "Okay, then. Thank you." I am a damn moron sometimes. I take off his coat and hand it back. "Well, since you're doing me a favor, I'll return it. We won't leave here tonight until you've impressed three work colleagues and are on the path to friendship or at least lunch with them."
"I-I don't know if that's--"
I hold out my arm for him to take. "I insist. You need friends, and I intend to get them for you. Remember I'm fierce, loyal, and determined. You don't stand a chance in this fight."
He glimpses at my arm, and after a moment's hesitation he locks his arm in mine. "I believe you."
"Smart man."
*
We pull up to my mansion two hours, two dances, and one lunch date with a group of colleagues later in his dark green 1957 Porsche 356 Speedster A classic convertible. He takes care of his car, it may as well have just rolled off the factory floor. I appreciate that in a man. Two years ago I would have screwed him just because of it.
The gate parts after I enter the code I provide without hesitation, and he rolls up to my door yet doesn't turn off the engine. We sit in silence, neither moving or looking at the other. Haven't done this is awhile, an awkward end of a date. Not that that's what tonight was. A date. Whatever it was, I sure as hell don't want it to end, but know if I invite him inside disaster will ensue. He'll expect something that cannot happen at this point and probably hate me for it. Shit.
"I had a great time tonight," I say.
"As did I."
Get out of the damn car, Joanna. "Well then," I say, pulling on the handle, "thank you for the ride. Good night." I step out of the car and shut the door. There. Good. The car begins to drive away, but I realize I haven't released the door handle. Double shit. "Wait!" The car comes to a quick stop as Jem slams on the brakes. I throw open the door and jump in again. "Okay, here's the thing," I begin. "I want to invite you in. I really do. I've enjoyed tonight more than you know, but if you come inside I need you to know nothing can happen. I just, I can't handle anything but friendship right now, and even that is iffy. I'm sorry. If you're not okay with that, I completely understand." My brow furrows at a horrible thought. "Unless I was misreading the entire situation, and you just want to be friends. If that's the case, then please forget this entire, horrible, embarrassing tirade. Either way, would you like to come in and watch a movie with me and just…hang out?"