Without thinking, I bounded out into the cold snow, no shoes, no shirt and bed head. “Cricket,” I said, when I reached her.
Her eyes widened. “Oh my God,” she said, looking down. “You have to put on a shirt.”
“Why did you leave like that last night?” I demanded, ignoring her request.
She peered at my feet. “You’ll lose your toes,” she said and started walking toward the trailer.
I followed her. “Answer me, Cricket.”
“Not here,” she said, scanning around her.
I quieted down with the assumed promise she would eventually talk and we entered the trailer just as Bridge was emerging for the day. She kissed Cricket’s cheek hello and winked at me then left to meet an already approaching Jonah.
I shut the door.
“What are you doing?” she asked. “We can’t be in here alone.”
“Why?” I asked, narrowing my eyes.
She stood tall. “Because it’s disrespectful to Ethan.”
I happened to agree with her. “Then we’re in unison,” I told her, which surprised her.
“We-we are?”
“Most definitely. And it’s also why you should leave him and be with me.”
Her jaw clenched. “I swear, Spencer, if you mention that to me one more time, I’m gonna to smack you.”
“Do it,” I challenged.
She narrowed her eyes. “I should.”
I leaned casually against the counter next to the door and crossed my arms across my chest. “You know what I think?” I asked her.
“Why ask? You’ll tell me anyway,” she cheekily replied.
This made me smile. “I think you hate to hear the truth.”
“Pshh, you are so wrong.”
“No,” I laughed, “I’m really not. Think about the way you practically melted into me last night, that seething kiss on my palm, the tangible heat smoldering between us. It tells me so much.” She shook her head. “It lets me know,” I continued, “that you’re only in your relationship with Ethan because he’s giving you something you think you can’t live without, and you’re too scared to give up.”
She gasped, nearly choking on the draw and slapped her trembling hands over her mouth. Tears overflowed and my gut began to ache. I reached out for her.
“Cricket,” I said, racking my brain, trying to figure out why my words wounded her so badly. “I’m so—” I began, but she shoved past me, sobbing and pushing through the trailer door.
I chased after her, but she ran with purpose, frantic to get away.
I caught up with her and grabbed her arm gently. “Cricket, tell me what I’ve said…”
“Stop,” she bawled, refusing to look at me. “Please, just let me be.”
I nodded and let her go. Every foot she stepped took her farther and farther away from me, and my chest throbbed with the pain I’d never really meant to cause her. I felt like such a fool. I’d pushed her too far. I ran my hands through my hair and decided I would go apologize to her immediately. I hustled to the trailer and got ready for the day then left, heading straight for the horse barn, hoping she was in there, where we usually met.
Inside, the ranch hands Pete and Drew were brushing down and saddling the horses, readying for the day.
“Hey, you guys seen Cricket?” I asked as nonchalantly as possible.
“Heard she’s still up at the main house,” Drew answered before going right back into the conversation he was having before.
I nodded and tried not to appear too eager to reach the house. Once out of sight, I nearly sprinted for the deck. In the dining hall kitchen, I found Bridge stirring something in a bowl and Jonah draped on the fridge next to her.
“Seen Cricket?” I asked.
They shook their heads no and I left the kitchen, making my way to the main living. I spotted Ellie in there.
“Ellie!” I said a little too anxiously.
“What’s wrong, honey?”
“Oh nothing,” I said, trying to calm myself a little. “Have you seen Cricket? She wasn’t down at the stables this morning.”
I shifted my body back and forth.
Her facial expression dropped a moment but quickly picked back up, shielding herself. “Honey, you’ll probably be working with Drew and Pete today. Cricket’s gone into town unexpectedly with Ethan.”
The words “with Ethan” echoed through my head again and again. I nodded. “Thanks.”
I walked back into the dining hall and lowered myself on the bench; my head fell into my hands. I yanked off my cap and ran my fingers through my hair.
I worked the entire day with my eyes peeled for Cricket and even Ethan, but they never showed. That is, until dinner that night. I’d gone back to the trailer and showered just in case she showed up to dinner. I was determined to pull her aside and apologize for whatever I’d done. Seeing her in pain was eating me to my core, and knowing I was the one that caused it made me sick to my stomach.