During the quick ride to the hospital, I’d found out that Derek and Bryce had gone to school together and that’s when they started up the band. Derek had also come from a wealthy family so to speak. However, he’d had no inclination to follow in his father’s footsteps as a shipping magnate. I’d also ascertained that he was single, and I could not wait to put my Alexis-matchmaking-skills into play. If my plan worked, Carly’s fiery hole would be doused sooner rather than later.
We both took a seat in the waiting room of my surgeon’s consulting clinic. There were many other surgeons who practised at these particular offices and their patients were also waiting.
“Thanks for doing this. Hopefully we don’t have to wait for long,” I said as I looked around the room.
A doctor came out and announced a patient. “Asoka Andrews.”
Derek scoffed under his breath. “Asoka?”
I smiled at him strangely. “Yeah? I think that’s what he said, why?”
“Isn’t that a character in Star Wars?” he explained.
“Yeah, I think you’re right.” I laughed. “Ask Nate next time you see him, he’ll know.”
“I will.”
I leaned forward and picked up a magazine from the coffee table next to me. I needed something to keep my eyes focussed on for when I asked my next question. Match-maker Alexis was about to come to life.
“So, why are you single Derek? What’s wrong with you?”
I noticed from the corner of my eye that he’d swung his head round in my direction, so I tried desperately to keep my stare fixed on the pages. He didn’t answer so I chanced a glance up at him. He actually looked quite adorable with his shaved head and blue eyes, and especially the way he’d furrowed his chin in a for-me-to-know-and-you-to-find-out kind of way.
“What?” I asked. “That’s a fair question. You’re young, intelligent, good looking and obviously athletic. You’re a firefighter and a lead singer in a band. I don’t buy it. Something has to be wrong with you.”
“Okay then, you tell me what you think is wrong with me,” he challenged.
“Um, then maybe I asked the wrong question before. You might not have a girlfriend, but maybe you have a boyfriend?” Shit! I hope not. Carls’ hole will burn to a crisp if that’s the case.
He laughed. “No, not gay. I have nothing against being gay, I’m just not gay myself. Next,” he challenged again.
“Third nipple?” I asked, unperturbed by my outrageous suggestion.
He laughed harder this time. “No. Wanna check?” He went to pull down the collar of his t-shirt.
I hit him in the arm. “No, I believe you.”
“Next,” he said again.
“Small dick?”
“No. Wanna chec—”
I cut him off before he had a chance to finish.
“Alcoholic?”
“No, don’t drink.”
“Drugs?”
“No, hell no!”
“Bad in bed?”
“Now you are just insulting me,” he said playfully.
“Well? You tell me then.”
“Why do you want to know?”
“Because, I may have a friend.”
He smiled. “This friend of yours doesn’t happen to be blonde and incredibly cute, does she?”
“Maybe,” I answered still flicking pages. “So, are you an axe murderer?”
“No, and my dick works just fine in bed. I just want to clear that up for when you tell Carly.”
I snapped my head toward him with a huge smile on my face. “So, do you want me to tell her then?”
“Sure, why not? I liked her.”
I may have been smiling on the outside, but on the inside I was in full-blown happy-dance, happy-clap, party mode, singing and chanting to the tune of the conga in my head, ‘No more fiery hole, yeah. No more fiery hole, yeah.’
Another doctor walked out and called for a ‘Spiros Soggianis’.
Derek leaned in closer and whispered, “Did he just say soggy anus?”
I cracked up laughing, dropping my head into my hands. “Yes, I think so.”
***
Shortly after Mr. Soggy Anus got called in for his appointment, I got called in for mine.
My surgeon helped me up onto the trolley bed and assessed my cast. “So, Alexis, how have you been? How has the pain been?”
“Yeah, not too bad. It hurt at first, and if I avoid doing stupid things like forgetting and putting all my weight on it or bashing it against the table, then it’s fine.”
“Good. And pain relief?”
“I’ve just been taking a couple of mild pain killers when needed. Other than that, it’s been really good. The worst thing has been the bloody itchiness.”