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Fulfillment(3)

By:K.M. Golland


Dr. Rainer switched on the monitor and moved the ultrasound wand over my tummy, prompting Bryce and I both to simultaneously move our heads a little closer to the screen while squinting.

Okay, let’s be honest, I’ve never really been able to distinguish what was what during an ultrasound. All I could ever make out was grey, black and white swirling patches, and trying to distinguish what was supposed to look like a jelly bean with a large head was pretty much impossible for me. So, when the image appeared on the screen, I made more of an effort to watch Bryce’s reaction rather than try and figure out my baby’s head from its bottom. As long as I heard that wonderful, amazing, ticking noise that was Baby Clark’s heartbeat, I was going to be more than happy.

Almost instantly, Dr. Rainer started calculating our baby’s measurements on the monitor. I squeezed Bryce’s hand as he stared intently at the screen. He looked down at my hand then up to my face, so I gave him a knowing wink which prompted him to raise my hand to his mouth where he placed a soft kiss.

“Okay. Your baby measures 1.7cm, which would put baby at 8.1 weeks gestation.”

“1.7cm?” Bryce asked in confusion as he spread his thumb and index finger apart.

“Yes. At this stage in the pregnancy, your baby also has two arms, two legs and eyelids,” Dr. Rainer replied.

“1.7cm?” Bryce repeated a little louder, still looking confused.

“Yes,” I giggled, “1.7cm.”

“How is that even fucking possible?” he asked astonished. “Shit, I’m sorry. Please excuse my mouth. I’m just slightly blown away here.”

“You’re excused Bryce,” she offered with a smile and continued to record the measurements. “Okay, let’s see if we can take baby’s heart rate.”

She moved the ultrasound wand and this time pushed it further into the base of my abdomen, increasing my already increasing urge to urinate. Don’t need to pee. Don’t need to pee. Who am I kidding? I need to fucking pee! I willed myself to clench my pelvic floor muscle tightly when a ticking noise sounded through the monitor, distracting me from my desperate need for the toilet. Instantly, I gripped Bryce’s hand as that wonderful repetitive popping—which made any doubt or worry disappear into thin air—sounded throughout the room like music to my ears.

I lifted my head again to see the monitor of swirling shades of grey—which was annoyingly useless because I couldn’t make out shit.

“Baby’s heart has 165 beats per minute, that’s excellent,” Dr. Rainer informed us.

I smiled—more than smiled—I gleamed. I was pregnant again at age 35, my baby had a heartbeat of 165 beats per minute, he or she measured 1.7cm and had limbs, and the father of my little precious jelly bean was standing next to me teary-eyed. Hang on. Back the fuck up. He is teary-eyed. Oh my God, he is teary. Shit, now I’m teary.

He leaned down and pressed his lips to mine, and a lone tear fell from his eyelid onto my cheek. I placed my hands on either side of his face and kissed him back.

He broke free from my lips and rested his forehead against mine.

“I love you,” he whispered.

“I love you, too,” I replied softly.

Bryce stood back up as Dr. Rainer turned off the monitor and wiped my belly with a towel. We were staring at each other, both of us still highly emotional and amazed by the little miracle growing inside of me. It was just such a wonderful feeling.

“Okay. Now, Alexis, seeing as your blood type is A-Negative, I would like to give you an Anti-D injection, and then your next one will be at the twenty-eight week mark of your pregnancy. I’d also like to schedule another appointment and ultrasound for standard screening tests, in say...three weeks?”

“Yes, of course,” I answered.

“Now sit up on the bed for me please while I get the Anti-D ready.”

She moved across to a bench top to prepare the needle as I sat myself up.

Bryce stood behind me and placed his hands on both my shoulders. “What’s an Anti-D injection?” he asked with scepticism.

“Alexis’ blood Rhesus factor is negative, Bryce. Therefore her blood does not contain D antigen. Both Nate and Charlotte had positive Rhesus factors. So, if their blood had mixed with Alexis’ at any stage, antibodies would have been formed. Now, if those antibodies cross the placenta and mix with your baby’s blood, it would cause serious complications. The Anti-D in the injection destroys any trace of Rhesus positive blood in Alexis’ circulation. That is why we give it to mothers with negative Rhesus factors during and after pregnancy. It’s precautionary.”

“Right...and it’s perfectly safe?” he asked, his voice laced with worry.