"If it helps," Sean began, "she hasn't talk to any of us either. Except the kids of course."
My stomach lurched.
She was all alone right now when she shouldn't be.
I felt like even more of a massive dick.
What our families did to us was shitty enough, but dealing with what I said doubled the shittiness.
"Other than the obvious problem, is she okay? Is she eating and taking care of herself?" I asked out of worry.
I'd hate myself even more if I made her sad enough to become sick. Granted I've barely eaten since Christmas, but fuck me, I couldn't care less about myself, it was Neala who I worried for.
"Yeah, she's eating and showering and doing all of the normal stuff... She's just sad, man."
I swallowed and looked down. "I know, I wish I never said what I did."
"Do you mean that or you mean you wish she never heard you?" Sean asked.
I looked at him and honestly replied, "I wish I never said it. I lied to keep from looking like a pussy whipped bitch in front of the pair of you so you both wouldn't see that I'd be gutted if she regretted me. I made my worry a reality by lying. I fucked everything up and I've no one to blame but meself."
"Don't be so hard on yourself, bro," Justin said and nudged me. "It'll work itself out, you'll see."
"It won't fix itself," I said, shaking my head. "I wrecked this so I have to fix this... I owe it to her."
Sean patted my shoulder in support while Justin flagged Bob down and ordered a round of drinks for us. Bob quickly got the order to us and took away my now empty pint glass and frowned as I started on the fresh one he laid before me.
Justin looked at Bob then to me.
"How many has he had?" he asked.
"This is number five," Bob replied.
I rolled my eyes when Justin hissed.
"Do you want to get drunk off your face? Drowning your sorrows won't get you back your Neala Girl, little brother."
He didn't get to call her that, only I did.
I snarled, "What do you know? You have a wife and a kid. You don't know what I'm feeling."
Justin laughed and it only fuelled my rising temper.
"You think things have always been smooth sailing with Sarah? I started going out with her I was twenty-five and we're still together and happily married because we work to keep what we have. No one is gifted a healthy relationship so stop feeling fucking sorry for yourself. You fucked up with Neala, go fix it if she means that much to you."
I knew Justin was right, but I shoved him simply because I was looking for a fight.
I wanted to feel something other than the sick feeling that was constantly in my gut.
Justin jumped up from his bar stool and I took it as an invitation that he wanted to exchange blows. I threw the first punch and it caught Justin square across the jaw. It knocked him backward against his stool and then onto the floor.
"Ah, fuck!" Sean snapped from behind me and smacked the back of my head with such a force my brain rattled. "You wanna fight, you come at me. It's my little sister you fucked over, remember?"
I saw red and speared Sean down to the ground.
I pulled back and unleashed a series of punches on his face, but not one landed because he had his head guarded so I switched getting a few hits in on his chest.
"It's fine, honestly, don't be worried. A minute or too and it'll be fine. Sit back down," Bob's loud voice broke through my clouded one.
A blind noise blocked everything out and my vision spotted.
It took me a second to realised I'd been punched in the head.
Sean, the bastard, broke through and punched me.
I was just about to return the favour when I felt arms come around my neck from behind and pull me off Sean. I reached back and hit Justin who had a hold of me, but he didn't let up until I stopped throwing punches. My head was spinning and my stomach threatened to spill at any second.
"Are you done?" Justin snapped in my ear.
"I'd have killed you both if I could see straight!" I snapped then coughed when Justin's arm tightened around my neck.
Sean laughed from the floor across from me. "I don't think so, little Hart. I let you get some hits in to help relieve some stress. You feel better?"
I blinked my eyes and when my vision focused I could see Sean, but it looked like he was swaying while sitting down.
I unexpectedly laughed, "Yeah, I feel better."
I surprisingly did.
Justin's hold on me loosened, and then both him and Sean got to their feet and they helped me up to mine. They both shoved and playfully slapped my head.
"Okay, everyone. Show's over," Bob announced.
The people who bothered to look our way turned and continued on with their conversations like we weren't just fighting a minute ago.
"I can't believe he put you on your arse with one hit," Sean poked fun at Justin as we straightened our stools and sat back down on them.