I couldn't face him. Not ever.
"Neala, just... tell me what happened."
I scrunched my face up in disgust making my mother chuckle.
"I don't want the dirty details, just tell me what happened before the nastiness occurred."
Nastiness?
I shook my head clear and walked over to my dresser.
"Nothing much happened, Ma," I said as I got underwear and pyjamas from my drawers.
"Put the pyjamas back, you're wearing a onesie to dinner just like me."
I looked up the ceiling and closed my eyes.
Please help me, Jesus.
"I'm not going to dinner," I repeated.
"Yeah, you are, and don't give me the 'nothing happened' speech. You and Darcy hated one another, something happened for sex to happen."
I made a mistake the moment she said the word sex. This turned out to be horrible to talk about with my mother, because she knew Darcy, he was like a son to her.
"I don't know, Ma... We just got to talking without arguing for once and we just went down memory lane and hashed a lot of bullshit out. We apologised, and even called a truce. There was even talk of something possibly happening between us because we admitted to fancying one another."
My mother nodded her head and said, "Then you both slept together... that sounds pretty great to me, but you're very upset so what's the kicker?"
She never missed a thing.
"I overheard him tell Sean and Darcy this morning that the wine we drank caused us to make the mistake of sleeping together." I looked down to my bare feet and frowned. "The thing is, the wine didn't even affect me, my part it in was down to my sober mind... I didn't think it was a mistake, and I feel sick that Darcy's regrets it... regrets me."
I turned around and looked up to the ceiling and willed away the tears that were building up in my eyes.
"This is bollocks," I snapped. "I hated him a few days ago... I don't know how I've landed meself in this position. It's sucks."
My mother cleared her throat from behind me. "This will sound cheesy, but there really is a thin line between love and hate."
I growled, "I do not love Darcy, Mother."
I knew I didn't love him, if I did, I would surely feel like I was dying without him.
My mother grinned. "Fine, a thin line between like and hate then."
Oh, she was so funny.
"Ha. Ha. Ha," I deadpanned.
My mother gave me a sad smile. "Relationships, even brand new ones, are not easy, sweetheart. You have to constantly work at them, but if they weren't worth the risk of a broken heart, you would have never taken the chance in the first place."
My mother's words hurt my already broken heart.
"What are you saying?" I tearfully asked.
My mother stood and walked over to me.
She kissed my forehead and said, "I'm saying, don't give up on Darcy so easily. You don't want too or you wouldn't be crying over him so much. Merry Christmas, sweetheart."
I closed my eyes as she left my room and I was alone once more.
I sunk to the floor and tried to organise my thoughts, but I couldn't.
My mind was a mess.
Don't give up on Darcy.
My mother's voice echoed my thoughts.
I softly cried.
My mother was wrong because I didn't give up on Darcy, he gave up on me.
I opened my eyes when a knock sounded on my bedroom door.
I wanted to scream out and tell whoever it was to go away, but it was Christmas, and no matter how shitty I was feeling or how down I was, I wouldn't take it out on my family.
"Yes?" I called out.
A throat cleared. "It's me."
Everything stopped.
My breathing.
My heartbeat.
Time.
"Go away," I managed to get out after a log period of silence.
I watched as the knob on my bedroom door turned, and as the door slowly opened until all six feet three inches of Darcy stepped into my room wearing black jeans, black boots, messy hair in a sexy styled way... and a red reindeer jumper?
My mother, I thought.
She always made us wear something 'Christmassy' to dinner on Christmas, it was a tradition we had going for years. My onesie was the item she chose for me this year at dinner. I glanced down at it and sighed. I was a snow woman, the hood of my hoodie also doubled as a snowman facemask if you pulled it down far enough. It was comfortable though, so I couldn't really complain.
I forgot about my stupid onesie when Darcy closed my bedroom and turned to face me.
"Hey, my Neala Girl."
I closed my eyes and shook my head as I lay back on my bed. My heart thudded against my chest, and my stomach churned.
"Don't call me that, Darcy," I whispered.
I heard him take a few steps over to me.
"I'm sorry," he said.
My anger and hurt unleashed itself.
"Don't," I snapped and jumped to my feet. "Don't come in here because you feel bad, or because my brother made you. I don't want to hear your false apology so get the fuck out and leave me alone! I told you I never wanted to see or speak to you ever again. What part of that didn't you understand?"