Frozen(60)

"If he wasn't going to live up to whatever he made you believe then he should have stayed the fuck away from you. I didn't think you were a virgin. Fuck. A fucking virgin! I'm going to murder the little prick!"

Oh, shite.

"Sean, please," I cried.

My brother muttered curses before he exhale a large breath. "Why don't you want me to hurt him?"

"Because I care about him!" I snapped then sunk low in my seat, hurting over my admission.

I wish I didn't care.

I wish I hated Darcy again. Things were so much easier when I hated him... but I couldn't. I cared about him. I really liked him and I felt sick that he didn't feel the same way.

Sean looked at me with wide eyes. "You care about Darcy?"

"You t-think I would give myself up to someone who I didn't have a-any feelings for?" I asked, annoyed he would think of me in that light.

Sean shook his head. "No, of course not. I know you're not like that, I just mean... Since when do you care about Darcy?"

Since last night.

Well, I had always cared about him, I just didn't realise it until last night.

I wiped my runny nose with some tissues from Sean's glove box. "Things changed between us in his house. We called a truce last night. I thought we even became friends and things would be good between us... but apparently I was wrong after hearing what he said to you and Justin."

Sean cursed some more. I tuned him out because the more I listened to him the more upset I got. I looked out the windows at the snow-covered trees and focused on them as we drove.

I felt sick with myself.

I couldn't believe I acted like a sex deprived manic last night. I practically tore Darcy's clothes from his body and begged him to take me. I was beyond mortified, and I was deeply hurt. I really thought that after last night we would at least be friends. A part of me was expecting us to eventually start up something romantic between us. Even if that never happened I would have been happy to be just friends. He apologised to me and I apologised to him and we realised we were both in the wrong all these years.

So why did he say what he did to Sean and Justin?

Was last night just about him pulling the ultimate prank? Stripping me of my virginity and making me enjoy it in the process?

I was so unsure, and that killed me.

I hated that I couldn't judge if last night was real or fake. I wanted it to be real, but the chance that it was probably fake gutted me.

"I don't want to talk about this anymore, Sean."

Sean was silent for a moment then he said, "I'm sorry, Sis."

I looked to him and gave him a small smile. "Don't be sorry, you did nothing wrong."

Sean's face fell, his mouth straightened to a thin line, and his eyes looked sad.

I hated that my situation with Darcy upset him so much.

I looked forward and folded my arms across my chest and enjoyed the silence of the rest of the drive back home... and when I say home, I meant my parent's house.

"Dinner is in two hours. Go get showered and into something warm - preferably something that covers your arse instead of exposing it," Sean muttered.

His big brother ways brought a genuine smile out on my face so I leaned over and kissed his cheek as he parked his truck in my parent's driveway. "I will... thanks for saving me."

"Always," Sean mumbled and sighed as I climbed out of the truck.

I folded my arms across my chest as I hopped around the truck and on the cleared pathway.

"Watch out for black ice. I put salt all over, but I might have missed some spots," Sean called out from behind me.

"Okay," I shouted and slowed down my pace.

The freezing cold breeze went right through me by the time I reached my parent's front door. I balled my hand into a fist and banged on the door.

"Cave woman, press the bell," Sean said from behind me.

I rolled my eyes and pressed the doorbell.

A moment went by before my mother opened the door. She was wearing a Mrs. Claus onesie and she had antlers on her head - it was enough for me not to take her seriously.

"You're free!" my mother shouted.

I raised my eyebrows when Dustin voice's shouted from the living room, "Frrreedddoooommm!"

I looked over my shoulder to Sean who was grinning. "He watched Braveheart with us lads last night."

Of course he did.

I turned back around and gave my mother a closed lipped smile. "I need a shower." And to be left alone.

My mother placed her hands on my cheeks. "You were crying."

I blinked my eyes. "I don't want to talk about it."

I moved around my mother, walked by the living room and down the hall to the stairs. My parents never touched my bedroom when I moved out so it was still the same as when I left it at twenty-two. It meant I had clothes here and everything was familiar.