“Uh, thanks. Why does it feel like I’m in the middle of a fight and you forgot to show up?”
She laughed but it rang a little hollow, ratcheting up the tension. “Because this is not a fight. We’re not a couple. Therefore there’s nothing to get upset over.”
Fine lines around her taut mouth betrayed it as the lie he knew it was. Because he was upset too but he had no idea why. He’d like to chalk it up to stress over the expo, but it was bigger than that. They were having some kind of relationship. One that had evolved into something he barely knew what to do with, but that didn’t make it any less real.
“What am I missing here, Cara? Saying we’re not a couple is equivalent to reeling in a sea bass and then claiming you weren’t fishing. Why is your line in the water if you’re not trying to catch a fish?”
“God Almighty. Seriously?” Finally, she seemed to have a little more going on under the surface than she’d let on. “My line is in the water all right and it has been since we met. I’ve never made any secret out of the fact that I want to get married and it’s also not a mystery why I’d never walk down the aisle again with you. Since you like fishing metaphors so much, here’s mine. I’m throwing you back, sugar. Swim away and watch out for those hooks next time.”
“Is this still about you not trusting me?” He rolled to his stomach, suddenly feeling exposed. “What else do I have to do? I’ve apologized. I’ve listened. I’ve put my mouth on your—”
“Don’t be crass. This is not about trust. You can’t have it both ways, Keith. Either you’re in this to marry me or it’s temporary. Which is it?”
A weight dropped onto his shoulders, pushing him down further with each passing moment. Who was pressuring whom here? “Who said it had to be one or the other? I thought we were having a grown-up relationship, where we enjoyed each other’s company and focused on our careers.”
He was losing his grip, losing his mind. Why had he tried to do this when he was so ill-equipped?
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Her voice shook slightly. “Grown-ups don’t want a ring on their finger?”
“No, only women who can’t earn their own way. Who can’t stand to be alone. I thought you were different.”
It had all been a lie. She was still an aspiring trophy wife hiding behind a business that got her into the middle of as many weddings as possible.
The disenchantment was harsh and quick. And it hurt. How could it hurt?
She visibly shrank in on herself. “Is that what you think? That marriage is only something a woman would want if she can’t be on her own? You think I want nothing more than to be an...an appendage?”
She was twisting his words, making him out to be the bad guy.
“I thought you were a woman who took charge. Who was my equal, strong and fiercely independent.”
If any woman could have been his match, it was that Cara. He’d wanted more with that Cara, thought he might have figured out how to be what that Cara needed.
But she’d vanished inside an immature girl who still dreamed of being Mrs. Someone, instead of a woman who took a setback like being left at the altar and turned it into a successful business. A woman with strength and determination could handle someone like Keith, who was bound to mess up, bound to look for that next challenge. A woman like that could understand him.
He and Cara weren’t even in the same book, let alone on the same page.
“And I thought you were a man who didn’t see the value in something with only one purpose,” she countered quietly, apparently still determined to pretend she wasn’t as pissed off and frustrated as he was. “Like a wedding dress. Or frosting. I have more than one use. I’m good for more than just sex.”
He shook his head and a half laugh escaped, though he found nothing funny about this fight that wasn’t a fight because they weren’t a couple. Maybe she really wasn’t upset. Maybe she’d figured out that she didn’t want “more” with him a long time ago and was perfectly fine with tossing him back once the expo was over.
He was fine with that, too. It was what he’d planned all along. Or at least it was what he’d planned before he actually got Cara into his bed. And before he’d gotten the contract extension. And before this conversation had started, during which he’d discovered Cara had no intention of continuing their relationship in any way, shape or form.
She’d mixed up everything.
And on second thought, he wasn’t fine with any of it.
“But that’s exactly my point, Cara. I don’t think of you as having only one use. When you lick off the frosting, you still have cake. You’re my cake, or at least I thought you were. I want you to be cake, not a mess that needs frosting to hide all the flaws. You have substance. That’s what I see in you, that’s what’s so attractive about you.”
How could she not be upset? Didn’t she see how wrong marriage was for them—for anyone who valued making their own way—but how right two independent, career-minded people could be together? That’s what he wanted. Right now. With the Cara he’d met since coming to Grace Bay.
“That’s precious. You want to have your cake and eat it, too.” She tossed her head and flopped onto her back, apparently feeling the opposite of exposed. “These metaphors are ridiculous. For once, just say what you’re feeling. Or is that too hard?”
“Cara, please.” She was taunting him, hitting below the belt for some unknown reason. He’d confessed to having difficulty in expressing his emotions and she was throwing it back in his face. “I’m feeling like we’re not even talking the same language. You said after the newlywed game that you didn’t think you wanted a relationship. Have you changed your mind? Instead of metaphors, why don’t you say what you really mean.”
“What, like I should tell you thanks but no thanks for calling me a mess and accusing me of using frosting to cover my flaws? Because that’s what I really wanted to say. Or better yet, maybe I should say I don’t want to get married just so I can hide a multitude of shortcomings underneath a name change.”
“Then why do you want to get married?”
“Because, Keith.” She sat up on her haunches, so thoroughly composed he wanted to rattle her just to make sure she was still breathing. “Cake is great by itself but frosting makes it so much better. I wish you could see that.”
“I’ve lost track of what frosting is supposed to represent.” Hence the reason for all the metaphors—neither of them could seem to lay it all on the line. “It would be so much easier if you’d just flat out tell me what you want me to hear.”
She nodded slowly, her face blank. “After the newlywed game, I was confused. But you’ve helped me figure it out. I want to get married because I’m so in love with a man, and he’s so in love with me, that we both have a desperate need to share everything. A bed, a house, a life, a family. Even names.”
Oddly, that sounded...not so horrifying. But before he could fully process the revelation, she smiled tremulously and one tear fell.
“And that’s not going to happen with you,” she concluded. “So here we are, having an island fling, no pressure, no wedding bells. Stop me if you hear something that doesn’t jibe.”
She wanted to get married. But not to him.
So apparently he was the only one with difficulty in laying it all on the line. And the only one with difficulty in the parameters of their relationship, such as it was. He’d been developing all these feelings and she...hadn’t. How in the hell had that happened?
Twelve
The moment of Cara’s triumph had arrived.
The wedding dress fashion show, which was the highlight of the expo, would start in seventeen minutes. Cara Chandler-Harris Designs would meet the world’s elite wedding professionals with a splash, yards from the pristine beach. A balmy breeze played with the white fabric sheets hanging from metal frames, which served as a makeshift barrier to separate the audience from backstage.
Every one of the brides radiated with a je ne sais quoi that brought to mind romance and beauty and a touch of pageantry. Cara’s eyes prickled with unshed tears. Tears meant the dresses were perfect, selected with each model’s attributes in mind, altered with precision.
Or it just meant she’d fallen in love with the wrong man and it sucked.
What had she expected it to be like? Moonlight and roses and a breathtaking marriage proposal by the sea?
No, actually, she’d expected it to end exactly as it had. Badly. Because in her heart of hearts, she’d known it was going to end. But at least she’d done the right thing and pushed him away. It certainly hadn’t been hard—he’d already been halfway out the door to his next resort, gleeful to turn around yet another failing wedding destination with his superhuman efforts. All the wedding and marriage talk had just been icing on the cake of his departure from her life. Like last time. Like always.
“Sand in your eye?” Meredith murmured and poked her head around the sheet to survey the audience.
“I’m fine.” When Cara returned to their room last night, dry-eyed and numb, her sister hadn’t so much as lifted an eyebrow, and hadn’t asked any pointed questions. For that, Cara couldn’t begin to express her gratitude.