From Enemies to Expecting(48)
As she dressed in a teal-green suit and did her makeup, she tried on the idea of casually mentioning to Logan that maybe they could still see each other occasionally, if their schedules permitted. Which sounded crappy in her head and probably wouldn’t be improved by saying out loud. The problem was that she didn’t know how to tell him that she wanted something more, something real, when she had no clue how to do either one.
When she got to the boardroom, Cass was already there, keying in the virtual meeting details on her laptop. Alex and Harper popped up on the split screen TV.
Harper blinked. “Holy crap. What is that around your neck, Trin?”
Fingering the pink diamond that she couldn’t bear to take off, Trinity frowned and opened her mouth to say it was a loaner, and to her absolute mortification, she burst into tears instead.
Cass shoved her chair back and rounded the table to pull Trinity into an embrace, a trick and a half since her expanding belly got in the way. But Cass pulled it off with her typical togetherness, murmuring soothing words until the waterworks subsided somewhat.
“I’m sorry,” Trinity sputtered. “I don’t know what that was about.”
Alex and Harper made noises and talked at the same time until Cass shushed them.
“I think I speak for everyone,” Cass said with a smirk, “when I say we’ve all been there. Let me guess. Things with Logan aren’t so fake after all.”
“That obvious?” Trinity thought about putting her head down on the boardroom table, right on top of the printed materials she’d brought for the campaign. “I don’t know what’s real and what’s fake and why I’m upset about it or what to do about it. I can’t sleep and I’m exhausted all the time.”
Cass cocked her head. “Have you talked to him about what you’re feeling?”
“I can’t,” she wailed. “He’s in New York at meetings about a very big problem for his team and I just want him to come home and sleep with me, like really sleep. I want to wake up with him in the morning and have coffee and just be together. We’ve never done that. I don’t do that with anyone. I don’t know why I want that now. It’s ridiculous to feel so clingy and out of sorts and—”
“Trinity.” Alex’s voice rang out from the TV. “Breathe. That sounds like hormones talking. Maybe after your cycle, you’ll feel better.”
“I’m not on my period,” Trinity snapped. Like Alex knew anything about that. She’d only been pregnant for forever. “I’m not even due to start until—”
The first. What was today? Trinity glanced at her phone. The sixth. Oh, my God. It was the sixth. And she was always so regular.
Panic slammed through her chest as she did the math. It had been almost three weeks since the broken condom incident. With all the baseball games and juggling the Bloom campaign and missing Logan, she’d totally lost track of the calendar.
“I’m sensing we’re having a revelation in the works,” Harper said cheerfully. “Should we reconvene another day while you go take a pregnancy test?”
A pregnancy test.
The phrase made literally no sense, as if Harper had spoken Swahili. Trinity hadn’t taken a pregnancy test in eight years. Because she’d never had the slightest doubt about what the result would be.
“I have a couple of extras in my desk,” Cass offered. “From when Gage and I were trying. If you want to know now.”
Numbly, Trinity nodded at the woman who had been her best friend since eleventh grade. The distance that had grown between them due to their very different life circumstances vanished. There was no one else she’d want holding her hand as she verified whether her problems with Logan were exponentially greater than she’d supposed.
After an eternity that was really more like ten minutes later, she had her answer.
Amazing how she could actually see the plus sign though all the blurry tears. Pregnant. With Logan McLaughlin’s baby.
“Should I say congratulations or I’m sorry?” Cass asked quietly.
Trinity didn’t answer, just tossed the positive test onto the counter and sank to the ground to put her head on her bent knees. Her whole body shook with a cocktail of nerves and wonder and disbelief and hope. But she had to squash that. Now.
There was no way she’d carry to term. Her body didn’t work like that. The little miracle inside would be snatched from her before it had a chance to form, and she’d have to deal with it. Again.
Oh, God. A new round of horror tore through her. What was she going to tell Logan? She’d promised she’d let him know if this happened, but that had been back when she’d been ridiculously certain her birth control would stick. Obviously her pills had failed her and her secret belief that she couldn’t get pregnant again was false.