It stated that the recent uptake of beekeeping has been from people who enjoy listening to Radio 4 (otherwise Radio 2 or Classic FM) and the chances are they read a broadsheet newspaper at least once a week. All sarcasm aside, this pretty much describes me to a T and I was feeling pretty good about it. I would like to think it was portraying me as slightly highbrow and perhaps with a semblance of intelligence.
It was only then, reading further on, and seeing Jo giggle away that I read the part stating that the majority were over fifty years old (66 per cent in fact). Due to Wendy, my mother-in-law, being there, and not wanting to jeopardise any earlier points scored, I didn't rise to the bait and silently closed the magazine for later perusal. Jo just smiled, obviously feeling quite pleased with herself.
How rude!
JULY 28
I am a very rich green colour today as I'm full of envy.
All the signs are that the honey flow has stopped and I stand around with bated breath hoping that my little ones are still out there flying around trying to get the last of the nectar to make honey. During the last two weeks of hive inspections, I have been willing them to just make me enough for a simple jar of honey and have been practically begging them on bended knees to get a move on.
Then three separate beekeepers made comments that make me feel like my bees are the 100-metre runners trying to run a 400-metre race. They got out of the blocks fast enough but have been fading ever since!
It all started with an email from Adam, essentially my online mentor (despite the fact that we share a pint with other beekeepers each Wednesday, most of our correspondence is over email), who said his hives are roaring along in what appears to be the most productive year for a long time. In his own words, 'This honey flow is a once-in-a-decade event.' I wasn't put off by this, though maybe a little jealous; but also pleased that the bees had done well and this was exactly what they needed.
Then on Monday I received a taunting text from Richard who knew exactly what I was aiming for and it read simply: 'Just inspected hives, four sides of supers in one hive and three sides in other super with sealed honey, looks like will get a harvest this year.' Interestingly he got his nucleus about a week after mine so he must have a strain of bee that is more like a good 400-metre runner in the same race as my own and finishing with some vigour. A rather sarcastic yet jealous reply was swiftly sent.
As I was beginning to accept my fate, my level of envy increased a notch or two when I was contacted by a beekeeping acquaintance of mine on my Beginner Beekeepers Facebook page. Now this guy is like the oracle of beekeeping Down Under and he is as commercial a beekeeper as anyone. If Carling made beekeepers he would probably be the best beekeeper in Australia!
He started off by asking how I was getting on and we got into some pleasant chitchat about how everything was going. I mentioned in passing that I had put in quite a lot of work and was still hopeful that I might still get a single jar out this year. To this comment I could almost hear his laughter all the way from Australia.
He stated that he'd had a pretty good winter so far and his 3,000 hives – yes 3,000 – were pretty active. He reckoned he could extract about 100 kilograms (about 220 pounds) of honey, which I have to say I thought sounded a little low and so I questioned it. It was at this point that he corrected me and stated that he was expecting about 100 kilograms PER HIVE!! I couldn't believe it. Here I was talking to a guy about my struggles to get one jar from a hive and he was getting more than my own bodyweight in honey from each hive! I felt like a true whingeing Pom at this stage but I suppose this is the difference between a little lowly hobbyist beekeeper like me and a true professional, commercial beekeeper like him.
Sorry, did I mention that he said that some of these hives collected this honey in a little over four weeks?!
Truly amazing what these little creatures can do, isn't it? You just have to love them.
JULY 29
I had a fantastic beekeeping session this evening and felt like I learned a lot. Firstly I had to combine our two hives together to make just the one. The two hives haven't been particularly strong all year and there was a fear that separately they wouldn't survive the winter, but if they were combined they might.
We put the hives on top of each other with a couple of sheets of newspaper separating them. The idea is that the bees gradually eat through the paper and in doing so get used to each other's scent or rather pheromones. Combining the hives with nothing separating them would result in all-out war. I could just imagine a huge scrum in the middle of the hive until the last bee was standing. It didn't sound particularly viable. Who knew two sheets of newspaper could be so useful?