From A to Bee(64)
After seeing the queen, however, I relaxed and the hive inspection was quickly wrapped up, safe in the knowledge that she was there and they all looked healthy. I got to the feisty hive and then it felt like I had Gordon in my ear whispering to me. They were a little bit feistier than last week but I still felt a lot calmer about it all, knowing I had my lovely yellow Marigolds on.
I was halfway through the inspection and realised that I hadn't been counting at all despite finding it easier with the Beehaus where I felt a lot more in control. With this hive I just seem to be concerned with not upsetting the bees and finding the eggs and queen, and my counting goes out of the equation. It is funny what happens to the brain while you are trying to reassure yourself that there is no way the kamikaze bees have a way in to your bee suit and that they won't sting your fingers and thumbs when you are picking up the frames.
Incidentally, while going through the National hive I received my first ever sting to the hand but my yellow Marigolds saved me. As I was removing one of the frames, I felt an almighty vibration and heard a great buzz – well above middle C – on my right thumb. It turns out that I must have accidentally squashed a bee while trying to pick up the frame. As a result I had the interesting view of seeing a bee trying to sting my thumb but it couldn't penetrate the glove. It was getting madder and madder though as it had done just enough to get stuck with its sting partway through the glove.
Generally a sting penetrates and the bee then tries to withdraw the sting, and in doing so rips off part of its abdomen; the sting then stays in the victim pumping in venom but the bee dies.
As I was watching, the bee finally pulled with enough vigour that she ripped away her abdomen and the stinger was left behind and, without wanting to be too graphic, she left parts of her insides with it. She struggled off, obviously satisfied she had dealt with the threat but I would think also quite astounded as she had lost the bottom part of her body. She flew off and I stood there watching this pulsating sting which was quite fascinating, especially as no venom was being pumped into my thumb this time. Despite the fate of that bee, it was an interesting sight to see and before I carried on with the inspection I removed the stinger and gently puffed my thumb with smoke to remove the pheromone smell, which would otherwise have got the hive angrier than it already was.
On this occasion, Gordon had got the better of me and the drill instructor was just laughing; it felt as if they were on my shoulders like little devils. Sadly I didn't get to see the queen – always frustrating – but I knew there were eggs so I wasn't overly concerned. I put the hive back together and wondered if the Ministry of Defence or The Krypton Factor had ever considered a test using bees. I went back home, had a cup of coffee and filled out my hive inspection cards with part skill and part guesswork. Still, always a lovely and fulfilling moment when you have finished a hive inspection.
JULY 27
I have been earning brownie points today and ended up at the mother-in-law's house to clear some of her garden. As all men know, brownie points make the world go round and whereas you get a point for each good deed, it is double points when you are talking about your mother-in-law. However, it was quite an upheaval to get to Wendy's house. Considering we were staying over, the amount of stuff we have to take for Sebastian is immense and it meant that Jo and I were exhausted.
Having spent most of the day clearing weeds and chopping back trees, not to mention the prickliest bush ever, I was taking a well-earned rest now that Sebastian was in bed and sitting down tucking into some ice cream and a can of coke (what a treat but such is the power of brownie points!). Jo brought out the post that had been delivered that morning and I saw there, on the top of the pile, was the new edition of Beecraft. Essentially this is the official journal of the British Beekeepers' Association and is actually quite an interesting read. I put it to one side while the vanilla ice cream and coke mixture took me to a new level of happiness.
Just as I was tucking into another mouthful, Jo leaned over, picked up the magazine and started to flick through it. I couldn't believe my eyes and was watching in awe thinking that maybe, just maybe my inane ramblings about the topic or the constant sleep-talking about bees was having an effect.
She stopped and was reading something intently for a moment, and then turned to me and said, 'Nice to see you fit the beekeeping stereotype so well.' Slightly bemused, I sacrificed my final mouthful, interested in what she may have been reading. It became apparent that she had read an article entitled 'What Makes a Great British Beekeeper' and this was essentially the findings from a recent study undertaken by the Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs (DEFRA).