From A to Bee(56)

JUNE 28



I am feeling quite old today. Imagine the scene. I had to get the bus into work as my car was getting its tyres changed (after my blowout incident). Once the bus got going I realised that I was on the side that the sun was streaming through. I moved sides and it was at that point I felt old. I actually moved in the interests of a comfortable journey.



Matters got worse. As the journey continued, the schoolchildren joined me on their way to school – with spots coming out of every inch of skin, hair down to their ankles and ties with the loosest definition of a Windsor or half nelson knot I had ever seen. There I was minding my own business, dressed for work in a smart shirt and well-tied knot and felt I should catch up on some reading. Out popped a copy of Beecraft – Britain's best-selling bee magazine. I started reading it and realised that some of the kids had brushed aside their ankle length hair just a little bit so that one beady eye was looking at my reading material. These brief looks turned into stares which were followed by elbowing and a bit of pointing. The receiver of the elbow would then turn, wipe their fringe in a certain direction and then also stare in a way only teenagers can.



I was innocently reading a magazine with a nice photo of a bumblebee on the front and being stared at by a bunch of teenagers. OK, so it wasn't the latest edition of Heat or GQ but I thought I was pretty cool. Then it dawned on me. Me and my mates used to be those spotty, long-haired teens but the recipients of our stares were people reading trainspotting magazines. I couldn't help but laugh back then at these anorak-wearing, bespectacled human beings and here I was, the modern-day equivalent. I felt mortified but, as I am sure the trainspotters did, I buried my head in my magazine.



Once I had returned from work, I went up to the Beehaus to check on the hive to see if it was bee-tight and thankfully it all seemed in good shape. I also went up to give them some more feed but upon opening the hive I discovered they had hardly even taken any – in fact I would go so far as to say they hadn't yet found it despite my efforts of introducing it to them. As a result they weren't drawing out the frames particularly quickly so I dripped a little bit more down the tube to incentivise them. Hopefully they will get started pretty soon.



It has been 29 degrees Celsius today again, which hasn't made it a particularly comfortable time, especially with my stings having been covered with sweaty socks all day. My ankle became very itchy today for the first time and was a little bit inflamed and swollen.



On a separate note, I had my first spuds this weekend. I dug up some of the swift earlies which I had planted several months ago. A little bit of mint while cooking followed by 'accidentally' too much butter, salt and pepper and all was delicious. I will also say that, despite the odd few, today was the first harvest of the mangetout and broad beans. I made a lovely salad complete with pepper, potato, rice and coriander, and all was lovely. So satisfying after all the hard work I put in throughout spring. Wonderful.





JULY 2





I haven't written much this week because, quite simply, my hands have been too busy scratching away at my left ankle. The stings have developed through a variety of stages throughout the week which has been most interesting. On Sunday, nothing really happened, which was disappointing. I was expecting or rather secretly hoping to see some swelling immediately after the stings and maybe something like the elephant man's leg but I got nothing – no evidence of the stings, not even a red mark. I had walked back to Jo hoping for sympathy and had nothing to show for it.



Monday arrived and I remember jumping out of bed and looking down at the ankle – still no elephant man-type symptoms or even any redness. However, as the day wore on, I found myself scratching the area of the stings and it just got progressively worse.



I woke up on the Tuesday after a very unsettled night. I think that I must have been trying to scratch the inflamed ankle with my other foot as I do remember kicking Jo several times during the night. I was in serious trouble with her in the morning for precisely that reason. I thought I had a decent excuse though, especially as my ankle was now nicely red and there was finally evidence of the stings. Sadly my defence was pretty much dismissed. Kicking your wife while asleep because of a few bee stings is obviously not recommended.



Ever since the pleasure of actually proving to people on Tuesday morning that I'd been stung I have been feeling pretty fed up with the matter to be honest. They have been incredibly itchy and though the swelling went down yesterday, Thursday, they are still quite uncomfortable. I have a feeling that by Sunday they will have calmed down completely just in time for another inspection. I wonder if it is all contrived by the bees. They deliberately pump in enough venom to keep the sting uncomfortable for a week, just so that others will sting you on the next inspection, keeping the level of comfort at such a point that you eventually decide bothering them is a bad idea!