There I was standing there in my shorts and T-shirt – it was a beautiful day, the warmest this year so far – and I was just watching them fly in and out. There was a lot of activity and yet again there were a few flying in with pollen sacs, which again was reassuring.
Every time I have approached the hive I have wondered just how close you should get before you should consider wearing a bee suit. I have come to the conclusion that if you are just watching them you should be OK, and I have also taken the decision not to wear a suit when adding more sugar syrup as there is no direct contact with the bees.
Today I had a small warning and I think I need to be a little more careful. I was there watching them, about three feet from the hive entrance. It was relatively peaceful until one particular bee decided to fly at me. It is quite disconcerting when this happens, purely because of the sound. Usually it is said that bees buzz at a tone equivalent to a middle C and you can tell when they are a little bit touchy as the tone changes. This little bee stopped about eighteen inches from my nose and just hovered there for a bit pitching at slightly over middle C as if sussing me out. I still wasn't too concerned but this all changed when it decided I was a threat and flew directly at me.
It was similar to those cartoons when a wasp rears up before then flying straight at the victim. Its speed caught me off guard a little and made me stumble backwards over the loose ground of my allotment. For some reason I also instinctively swiped at the bee with my right hand while trying to stay balanced with the left. I wasn't very successful and this small bee, probably no more than 5 millimetres in length, floored a rather tall human being.
It didn't stop there and made a beeline (literally) for my head. I immediately jumped up and started running as I heard her go at me for a second and then a third time; my arms were both pumping and wildly flailing as I tried to run away from what I now know to be a guard bee. Their job is to guard the entrance of the hive, which this one was obviously doing very well. It was quite scary, though it must have been quite funny to look at from a distance.
Suffice to say, I learned my lesson but felt a little bit of a wimp having not faced up to a duel with a bee. I hardly even stood my ground. So we all know who the boss is now!
JUNE 6
I paid a visit to Farmer Ray today but took Sebastian for backup. Being the scary guy that he is – in spite of being very nice when I asked if I could keep bees on his land – I felt that he wouldn't verbally or physically abuse a guy with a child on his shoulders and may take pity on me. It's bad, isn't it, that I use my child as a human shield; but then you haven't seen the gun that Farmer Ray carries around with him.
We approached his gate, which I can just about peer over, and there he was, fast asleep in the sun. I was gutted, I had spent five days building up the courage to walk up the road to speak to him and there he was fast asleep. I needed to discuss the delicate matter of him cutting grass in the field near the hive. The last thing I would need is Farmer Ray allowing me to have a beehive in his field only for them to attack him if he got too close with his tractor. Though they wouldn't hear the tractor they would probably feel the vibrations of it going past and might come outside to investigate. I was going to suggest that I use a strimmer while wearing a bee suit and cut the grass near the hive so he didn't have to.
I didn't dare wake him and so had just started to tiptoe away when Sebastian, who was about two feet above me and could see considerably more of the garden, shouted 'Woof, woof!' at the top of his little voice. As much as I love his fascination with animals at the moment I have to say that this was not one of those endearing moments.
In a flash Ray jumped up, grabbed his gun and looked around. I quickly looked away, but not because I didn't want to be seen – there was something altogether more worrying. Farmer Ray spends all day dressed head to toe in blue overalls and a flat cap. I have never, in four and a half years, seen him in anything different. He was now standing there, dazed, flat cap on, but evidently before he fell asleep he had undone the zip on his overalls and the resultant view was something I will never forget. His blue overalls were around his ankles and he was wearing a rather fetching string vest and the most beautifully decorated and colourful Bermuda shorts. In an embarrassed rush he dropped his gun to the floor and quickly pulled up his overalls and then strode over saying, 'Ah, just the man I wanted to see' in a slightly less scary way than ever before. His imposing aura had been quashed. This was now Farmer Ray the 'floral-shorts-wearing farmer'.
All went well and he was more than happy to see I had taken delivery of the bees, and wasn't too concerned that they would be close to him when he was cutting the grass. It was a great result on many levels. As I was about to leave, Sebastian ran through his gate and started chasing his chickens around the garden. Ray and I started to laugh and I really feel we bonded at that moment. He is really a very lovely man and as I was learning, if you are honest with him, he is more than accommodating. All in all a worthy meeting – and one I shan't forget for some time.