Friendship on Fire(47)

Riley met her mother’s gaze.

“How can you know in your thirties what you’ll want in your forties? You haven’t been there yet. Love is a powerful thing, but desire is, too, and one without the other can be deadly to even the strongest relationship.” Her mother paused to pull her jacket tighter across her chest. “I didn’t know when I married your father if I’d still want to be with him in two years, much less thirty, and I knew that despite how much he professed his love for me, there was no way he could possibly know either.” She looked out over the mountains. “I took a leap of faith, and I hoped for the best. I knew that I loved him, and I knew that I desired him. The rest”—she shrugged—“I figured I’d deal with along the way.”

“And?” Riley pushed.

“And desire and love wax and wane in relationships. Even the strongest of them. I’ll let you in on a little secret that my mother shared with me.”

Riley leaned forward, ready to hear her grandmother’s secret.

“I’m not so sure that God knew what he was doing when he gave us the idea of living together, even after being married. Men and women are just wired differently. We think differently. We have different wants and needs, and that alone can drive a couple apart pretty quickly.”

So I was right; you don’t have a loving relationship with Dad?

Her mother smiled up at the starlit sky. “So I had a heads-up going into my marriage, and I knew that we’d probably come across some frustrating times when I’d feel like I hated something your father did or wished he’d do something I knew he never would. I think my mother saved our marriage by sharing that with me, because when those times came, I was prepared. I saw them for what they were. Tiny bumps in a very long road. I didn’t give up, and I didn’t walk away. And when desire seemed very far away, we both worked to reel it back in.”

How could I have been so wrong? “So?” Riley asked.

“So, you might never really know what the future holds, and you have to go on what your heart tells you when you believe you’ve found your forever love. You’ll know when it’s time to take that giant leap of faith.”

Riley let out a breath. “A giant leap of faith.”

Her mother picked up the bottle of wine and poured each of them a glass. “And a little wine might help clear your mind.”

“Yeah, it just might.” Riley sipped the wine, processing what her mother had just revealed.

“Riley, relationships aren’t always hot and heavy, and sometimes it’s that deeper, more meaningful love that pulls you through. Being held by the person you cherish most, or hearing their voice at the end of a particularly grueling day, those can be far more powerful than the initial hot and hectic passion of new love.”

Riley felt her cheeks flush. “I didn’t mean…”

“No, but you wondered. Every woman wonders about what will happen when that wears off, and that’s where your leap of faith comes in, and your strength and courage to bring yourself and your partner back to the place where you both are happiest.”

Riley nodded.

“You and Josh. Do you want to talk about it?” her mother asked.

“I don’t know, Mom. I miss him already, you know. That’s crazy, and I know that. I just saw him this morning, but every time I think of him, I see his face. And seeing his face brings goose bumps to my arms.” She held out her arm, and her mother ran her hand over the bumps. “But there’s so much more.” Riley continued. “He’s so different than I thought he’d be. When we were growing up, I was crazy about him, but he was a Braden. A good-looking, confident guy who was wildly out of my reach.”

“Don’t pull the wool over your eyes, Riley Roo,” her mother said. “You steered clear of Josh because of that silly feud between the Bradens and the Johnsons. If that nonsense hadn’t been going on, I’m not sure we could have kept you two apart.”

Her mother hadn’t called her by her childhood nickname since she went away to college, and that should have made her feel warm and safe, but Riley was too hung up on the fact that her mother knew she’d had a major crush on Josh—and that he had one on her. Before she could respond, her mother continued.

“You could have had any man you wanted—and you still can. Not that you need one, mind you, but you’re smart as a whip and pretty as can be, and your personality has always drawn people to you.”

Riley let out a laugh under her breath. “Thanks, Mom. You knew about my crush?”

“Honey, everyone knew about your crush.”

Oh God! “Really? Thanks, Mom. Maybe you could have clued me in that I was ogling him too blatantly or something.”

“It wouldn’t have mattered what I did. You would have continued. You couldn’t stop yourself any more than Jade could stop loving Rex.”

“Okay, fair enough,” Riley said. “Anyway, that’s not what I meant. I just meant…I don’t even know. I always felt like he’d be more…I don’t know…stuck up or something, especially now that he’s at the top of his career—or at least he was before I came along.” Her smile faded.

“Oh, honey, you know better than that. None of the Bradens are like that. I’m not sure why you had that impression, but they’re a very nice family. Very accepting, hard-working. Hal has done well by each of his children.”

“I know all of that now. It just took me by surprise, and now I worry that I’ve brought shame to their family.” There. She’d said it aloud, and with the words, a heavy load lifted from her chest.

“Oh, honey, I’m sure that you’re overreacting.”

“We’re on Yahoo! News, Mom.”

“Yahoo! News?”

“I forgot you don’t use the computer. You really should, you know. Yahoo is a big website that provides email to millions of people and carries the news along with it. My big mug has been spread all over to millions of people, along with an article saying I stole designs that I didn’t steal.”

For a minute, her mother didn’t say anything. She sipped her wine and looked out over the field in front of the house.

Riley wondered what her mother must think of her now.

“Now I can see why you’ve been walking around here with a heavy heart,” her mother said. “Riley, you didn’t steal the designs, so how could you have shamed anyone? It’s the person accusing you who should be ashamed of herself.”

The difference between Weston and New York was staring Riley in the face. If the same accusation were made in Weston, Riley could have confronted the accuser face-to-face, with the community backing her based on her reputation alone.

“It’s not that easy,” Riley explained. “I don’t know if she can place formal charges against me, even though they’re my designs. I don’t know what impact this will have on Josh’s career, or mine, or our relationship. Oh, Mom, it’s such a mess.”

Her mother nodded. “I don’t claim to be very worldly, but I do know that in time things like this blow over. While you’re in the thick of it, it might seem like that could never happen, but trust me. Time really does heal all wounds.”

“It might heal wounds, Mom, but it won’t be able to heal careers. And what if even though Josh loves me, he wakes up one day regretting that he stood by me because a year from now, or six months from now, or in ten years, this whole thing comes up again at some inappropriate time, like a fashion event or something else with a lot of media coverage?”

“What if he does?” her mother asked.

“I don’t know,” Riley cried. “That’s why I asked you. It would suck, I guess.”

“Yes, Riley, it would. But what if this whole thing never happened, and you and Josh remained together, or got married, and a few years down the line Josh woke up and said he didn’t love you anymore? Would that be any better?”

Riley finished her wine in one gulp. “You’re supposed to make me feel better, not worse.”

“Don’t you see, Riley? All you can be certain of is the here and now. The tangible, the time that you can hold on to and enjoy, one kiss at a time. You can beg for all the answers you want to, but understand that we’re all guessing at the tomorrows of the world. You have to take hold of the now and make the most of it. Savor it. Josh’s family is a testament to that. Do you think they thought they’d lose Adriana at such a young age?”

“No, but…”

“Don’t you think she told Hal a million times how much she loved him and that she’d never leave him? It’s all a leap of faith.”

Her mother refilled their glasses, then continued. “The way I see it, you should be less worried about the shame you might bring to others and more worried about reclaiming the rights to those designs you no doubt worked long and hard to create.”

“Josh is working on it,” Riley said.

“Since when do you let other people fight your battles?”

“Kinda harsh, don’t you think, Mom?”

“No. I’m being real, Riley. You’ve always stood up for yourself. You’ve confronted bigger rivals in your life than some New York woman. Remember in fourth grade when sixth-grader Alex Harper got it in his head that he was going to make fun of Jade every day?”