Josh ordered turkey subs and Diet Cokes, and with the full bag in hand, they headed back into the night.
“What if I hate turkey?” she asked.
“I’m sorry. Do you?” Josh asked.
“No, and I loved that you ordered for me. I’ve just always wondered what a guy would do if they ordered something that a woman didn’t like.”
“Most of the women I’m set up with don’t eat, so it’s not usually a problem.”
Riley flinched and stopped walking. “Josh, I’m not those girls, and if you’re hoping to make me one, this isn’t going to work. I eat. I like to eat, and I’ll never be model thin.”
Josh spun around and began dragging her back the way they’d come.
“Where are we going?” she asked.
“I’m taking you back to the apartment. Hell, if you’re not going to stop eating for me, what’s the use of pretending?” He drew his eyebrows together and pursed his lips, pulling her alongside him.
Riley laughed as he swung her into his arms.
“See how silly of an idea that is?” Josh asked.
It felt so good to have his body against hers again. She’d thought about him all afternoon, and the emotions she’d been holding in now wrapped themselves around her heart like pythons, tightening with every breath.
“Babe, I meant what I said last night. You are the most beautiful woman I have set eyes on in a very long time.” He kissed her deeply, then set her back on her feet. He reached down and lifted her chin, another Joshism that stole her heart every time he did it.
“Riley, you are my breath of fresh air. I’m a designer by trade, just like you will be one day, but inside, I’m just Josh Braden, Weston born and bred. I live in New York, but that doesn’t mean that I have the values and morals of a fast-paced racy city.”
Every word he spoke made her heart open up to him a little bit more. He was so different from most men Riley had dated. They sailed the surface, while Josh dove deep. She touched his cheek, then rested her head on his chest.
“Thank you,” she whispered. “Because I can only be me. I’m not perfect by any means, but it’s who I am, and I like who I am.”
“So do I.”
Chapter Sixteen
IT WAS ONE thing for a man Josh’s size to run through Central Park alone at night, but walking through Central Park at night with Riley was a whole different story. He eyed every man who walked by, sizing them up before they got too close. Josh had never had a lick of trouble in the park, but like any New Yorker, he’d heard plenty of stories.
Josh didn’t have a plan for the evening beyond dressing in a way that would hopefully render them unrecognizable. Hell, he didn’t have a plan for any part of what was happening between him and Riley, but he had faith that they’d have a wonderful night.
“This is so pretty,” Riley said as they strolled along the path that ran through the park.
“This is my favorite bridge. I love how it’s tucked into the park, like a hidden jewel.” They walked up the gentle arch of the bridge and stopped to admire the water below. Moonlight illuminated the nearly bare trees and danced off the water below Gapstow Bridge.
Riley leaned over the edge and said, “It’s so peaceful compared to the streets. If I close my eyes, I can pretend to be out in the country somewhere.”
“You’d have to work hard to ignore the city noises.” Josh came up behind her, pressed his body against her back, placing one arm on either side of her. He kissed her neck. “CK One?”
“It’s scary how well you know perfumes.” She turned to face him. “This is so romantic.”
“Lenny’s really pulls it all together,” he teased.
She pressed her hands flat against his chest. “Believe it or not, it does. I just love being with you. I don’t care what we eat or where we go. I like your company.”
He lowered his mouth to hers again, kissing the cold from her lips. Feeling gluttonous for kissing her so often, he pulled away.
“I’m sorry. I could do that all day,” he admitted. “Let’s sit down.”
They walked over the bridge to the edge of the water and sat on the cold grass. Riley leaned against his side, and Josh wrestled with how—or if—he should tell her about Claudia and what had happened earlier in the evening.
“Do you do this a lot? Come here, I mean?” Riley asked.
“Not anymore. When I first moved to the city, I came about once a week to walk through the park and just enjoy it, but then life got too busy.” He shrugged. “Now I run through it, but I almost never come to just enjoy it.” He squeezed her against him. “That’s why I wanted to bring you here, so we could enjoy it together.”
“I love it. Thank you.”
Josh opened their sandwiches and they began to eat. He was ravenous after running and working all day on nothing more than a few energy bars. He ate half of his sub in a few bites, then leaned back and watched Riley. He hadn’t noticed it the night before, but when she chewed, a dimple appeared just above the right side of her mouth.
She looked away and covered her mouth.
“You’re cute when you eat,” Josh said. The surety of his feelings for her were solidifying with every moment they spent together—and every second they spent apart. He couldn’t hold back any longer.
“Listen, Riley, I really like spending time with you, and I know we haven’t shared our deepest secrets yet, or had any history together to speak of, but I want you to know how I feel.”
She placed her hand on his knee. He covered it with his own and wished she’d never be farther away than she was right then.
“Me too,” she said.
“I want you to know who I am, not who everyone else thinks I am. I’m a really private person.” He saw her eyes grow wide and read the disbelief in her eyes that he’d been expecting. “I know I have a public life, but I’m a private person by nature. You’ve seen the pictures of me with a different girl on my arm at every event, smiling for the camera, often even looking at them like they were special, like they were everything, but that was all a farce. That’s the persona that’s expected of me. I can count on one hand the women I’ve had any sort of real relationship with.”
She dropped her eyes then and bit her lower lip. “Was Claudia one of those women?”
“I told you she wasn’t, and she’ll never be.” He touched her cheek and held her gaze. “Not once, not ever.”
She nodded. “Okay. I believe you.”
“I’ve dated three women for five or six months, and while they were relationships of sorts, they were never anything real. They were time fillers, and I think that’s what I was for them, too. They were all between my last year of college and the two years after. I live a really busy life, and making time for a woman wasn’t ever a priority. Once I opened JBD, I was handed dates, and when you have everything at your fingertips, none of it means very much. The people you’re connected with are there for your status, or what you can do for them. I knew I wouldn’t find a meaningful relationship in the mix, and I wasn’t looking.”
“I guess I know what you mean,” she said. “I’d never date you for your status. I hope you know that.”
He laced his fingers with hers. “Yeah, I do. Ri, I’m not telling you this because I worry about your reasons for being with me. I’m telling you because I want you to know that I’m not a player. I’m not what I appear to be in the magazines, and I don’t want to be that person. You know about my mom dying when I was young.”
“Yeah, that must have been awful.”
“I don’t really remember much about her other than what I’ve been told throughout the years. I was too young, I guess, but between Treat and my dad, I feel like I know everything about her, like she was there for all those years, even though she wasn’t.”
“That’s nice, right? I mean, it would seem worse if you didn’t know what she was like. This way you have a picture of her, an idea of her personality,” Riley said.
“Yeah. Treat spent years talking about her like she was right there. He’d tell me stories she’d told him, and he’d try to talk like she did. I’m really lucky that he did that, because while my dad filled me in some, too, I was always afraid to ask him too many specifics about her. He’s always missed her so damn much.” One of the earliest memories Josh had was at his tenth birthday party, when he turned to his father and said he wished his mother could have been there. His father’s eyes filled with tears and his voice with emotion when he said, “She’s right here with us, son.”
“My dad has never strayed from the memory of my mother, at least as far as any of us knows, and that’s so honorable. To me, that’s what love is. It’s a commitment for a person that goes beyond their being physically present, and maybe it’s even beyond being defined.”
“So you believe in true love?” Riley asked. “Real, heart-pounding, breath-stealing, forever and beyond love?” Her eyes lit up.
“I guess I do,” he said.
“And what about lust?” She wrapped her arms around her knees, pulled them in to her chest, and crossed her ankles, looking at him expectantly.