I had never been so broken.
Chapter 13
Steven
My dreams had been of her. We were lying on a bed that didn't belong to either of us. The sheets were a brilliant white silk that glowed despite the room we were in being lit only by the flickering of a single candle.
Allie was on top of me. My hands were on her hips. She was rocking against me gently, grinding her hips in slow circles. Her back was arched, and she was looking up at the ceiling, showing me her slender throat and lifting her breasts. Her long hair hung down her back like a dark curtain, and the ends of it grazed the top of my thighs.
There was nothing to do but watch her; there was nothing else I wanted to do. She never quickened her rhythm. She was steady and controlled, even as she grew breathless. A song had started to play. At first, it sounded far away. It continued to play as Allie rolled her neck and looked down at me. She braced herself with her hands on my chest. I closed my eyes as she slid up and down my cock. Her pussy had been so tight, so wet, so welcoming.
I felt the insides of her thighs quiver against the outside of mine when she came. A sweet moan fell from her parted lips, and she bowed her head, her hair falling over her shoulders to tickle my chest. I held her down on my cock, pushing myself into her as deeply as I could, as the last tremors rippled through her.
My name was on her lips. She whispered it, over and over, as I continued to fuck her. Her head rolled back again. I reached up to cup her breasts. They filled my empty palms as she continued to grind against me.
Then the song grew louder, and Allie felt farther away.
She rode me harder, but I could barely feel it. She became less tangible, and I couldn't feel her breasts in my hands anymore. It was like I was clutching air. Desperation tickled my throat. I felt alone, somehow, despite knowing she was there.
The song was louder again. I recognized it. It was something I heard all the time.
I woke up disoriented and rock hard to the tune of my alarm clock. Lingering images of Allie riding me flickered behind my eyelids as I lay in bed. I wasn't ready to leave them behind.
So I reached over to the table beside my bed, fumbled to open the drawer, and withdrew a tube of lotion I kept on hand for such occasions. I pumped some into my palm, then threw the blanket aside with my other hand. I ran the lotion over my cock, the slick sensation of it nearly too intense at the tip.
As I fisted my cock, I closed my eyes and pictured Allie lying with me again. I thought of her milky thighs, spread wide for me as she lay on her back upon that glowing white silk. She was rubbing herself, gentle and steady, pausing only to hold her swollen clit between two fingers. After a second or two, she would release and cascade back into the circular rhythm she liked so much.
My hips twisted as my arousal heightened. I edged my fingers over the tip of my cock, making a slippery mess out of lotion and pre-cum. A low groan escaped me, and I focused more intently on my vision of Allie.
She was still on her back. Her eyes were heavy, and her lips were parted as she moaned softly. She reached out with one hand, beckoning me closer. I obliged, leaning over her, my cock settling between her thighs and pressing up against her wet pussy. She was swollen and ready.
As I eased into her in my mind, my hips bucked. Hot lines of semen dashed up my stomach and chest. I lay back, letting my tense muscles settle into the comfort of the mattress. Then I grabbed tissues from the box on the nightstand and cleaned myself up.
After, in the bathroom, my lustful thoughts of Allie were replaced by more unsettling ones of her and Andrew. Of him filling her up. Of him shooting his load in her. Of both of them, lying together in his bed wrapped up around one another like snakes.
Feeling instantly angry again, I showered. The steam and hot water did nothing to ease my mind.
I couldn't help but feel a tightness in my gut. It was something I hadn't felt in a long time-not since Kyla, at least. Betrayal. It hurt more than I remembered. Something felt different this time. It was more than likely because this time it was Allie who had stabbed me in the back. The one person I believed in more than anyone had ripped my heart in half.
I hated how dramatic I was being. I resented the hot anger and the emotions that had been brewing inside me since reading the entry in Allie's diary about her and Andrew fucking. Dammit. I wanted nothing more than to bury it all and move on. I wanted to forget.
As I dried off, my anger hardened. Andrew had been twenty-two. What was he thinking, having sex with a sixteen-year-old? When I had confronted him the other day, he explained that it had been legal, but it had also been a mistake nonetheless. It was one they both wanted to take back, apparently. Andrew had tried to assure me that it was a one-time thing that they both regretted and never did again. His words meant nothing.
What was worse was he had fucked her when she was drunk. Sixteen and drunk. He should have known better. He should have controlled himself. Of course, Allie was beautiful. She always had been. But she had deserved more than that. Her first time was with someone she hadn't loved, in a bedroom that smelled like Axe and old shin pads, on sheets that probably hadn't been washed in four weeks.
I gritted my teeth as images of Allie on her back in that bed flashed in my mind. Teenage Allie. Sweet, innocent, soft Allie. The Allie I had first known. I could see Andrew above her, drunk and pathetic, trying to stuff himself in her. Andrew had told me the other day that's not how it had happened. Maybe he was telling the truth. Maybe it had been better for her.
Or maybe, it hadn't.
But that wasn't the best of it all. For two full weeks, both had believed Allie was pregnant. But they had walked around acting like nothing had happened. I went to school with Allie. I saw her every day. We walked home together. She had never said a single word. Not one. My best friend lying to my face because she thought she was carrying my older brother's baby.
It was the stuff of teenage TV shows.
I fixed my hair and brushed my teeth. Once I was done in the bathroom, I returned to the bedroom where I dressed in one of my best navy blue suits, brown belt, brown dress shoes, and a cream colored shirt. I had meetings all day with some of the investors I pitched to, and I had to keep a cool head until I was back home.
That was going to be a struggle, especially since every time I blinked, I saw Allie and Andrew together.
I didn't always see them having sex. Sometimes I imagined them in waiting rooms at clinics. I saw them holding hands while they waited for the doctor to come back and tell them the pregnancy test results were negative. I saw them embracing each other in relief, and then both vowing to never say a word to anyone. Especially me.
These thoughts were worse than the ones of them having sex. I could believe them if they said the act hadn't meant anything, but everything that followed was a testimony to the simple fact that they had been willing to commit to one another. That hurt more than the rest of it.
I plucked my watch from my dresser and tightened it on my wrist. I had to get a grip. There were more important things for me to focus on right now. My career, for example. These distressing thoughts of Allie and my brother could wait. I would have plenty of time to sift through it all over the next few days when it wasn't so fresh.
Maybe I would talk to Chance about it. He had always been good at offering me a different perspective. And, if he failed at that, we could spend a night on the town where I could expend my energy finding the right girl to bury my cock in. That would be a good enough distraction from these wandering and painful thoughts of Allie.
Perhaps I should have given my number to that spicy brunette from Dante's. She would be able to keep my mind off Allie. I was sure of that. She would probably let me do whatever I wanted to her.
My phone buzzed in my pocket against my thigh. I fished it out, and upon looking down at the screen, I grimaced. Allie was calling again. I had ignored her last few attempts to reach me, and I knew I still wasn't in the right frame of mind to talk to her. I was angry, and it would be easy to say things better left unsaid.
I hit the red button to end the call and slid the phone back into my pocket. She could wait. She would have to.
I sighed and made my way out the front door and to my car. The drive to the office felt longer than usual. Every song had an association to Allie. So I ended up turning off the radio and opted to drive in silence.
The silence only made my own thoughts louder.
Chapter 14
Allie
I slammed my front door closed and collapsed against it. Mondays were usually bad at the office, but today had been an exceptionally shitty one.
James Lipton had hit on me several times and ignored my resting bitch face that I had been trying to perfect for months in an attempt to get him to leave me alone. I had spilled coffee on my keyboard and now had to pay out of my paycheck to replace it-which I wasn't sure was legal or not. In the end, I concluded that I didn't care. I'd rather fork out the money than deal with the back and forth with James about ordering me one in the next office supply shipment.