Friend-Zoned(49)

You better watch yourself, Niki.





Chapter Twelve

Friendship can suck it





Today is Tuesday.

It’s been three days since I’ve seen Tina and I’m very obviously avoiding her. She came to my office yesterday and I pleaded with Max to send her away. I told him to tell her I was so busy that I wasn’t seeing anyone. That was a lie. I was sitting at my desk making paper planes and trying to fly them into my waste basket which I’d placed by the door. After she left, Max came into my office, sat at my desk and stared holes into my head. He said, “Whatever you did to fuck up,” he pointed a finger at my chest, “make it better.”

Without waiting for a reply, he left.

Today, I turn on my computer and find an instant message waiting for me.



TheTomicBomb: Hey stranger, remember me??! I want sushi 2day. U in?



What the hell?

I thought Tina was upset with me. It’s the reason I didn’t see her yesterday. I thought she was getting ready to tear me a new asshole. And it would’ve been deserved. Or cry, which would rip my heart to shreds. I mean I practically groped her while she was drunk. Not something a gentleman does. I took advantage of her.

It was the best kiss of my life but I still took advantage of her.

I’m ashamed of myself. My mom brought me up better than that.

This message doesn’t sound like she’s angry with me. In fact it sounds like she’s the same old Tina just wanting to have lunch with her friend.

Ding



TheTomicBomb: If u ever resurface 4 air, let me know. I’ll bring u sushi :)



I can’t help my chuckle. I run my hand through my hair.

The weight I’ve been carrying around all weekend disappears.

I’m so relieved she isn’t pissed at me. She should be. Thank god she’s doing the mature thing and pretending it never happened.

Can you pretend it never happened?

I can still feel her suck my bottom lip. When I put my hand down the back of her dress and realized she wasn’t wearing underwear I just about had a stroke. Sweet Jesus, that ass. It’s a nice ass. Soft as silk but firm, too. The perfect ass. Well, my idea of the perfect ass.

Her lips are soft, pouty, and so sweet they taste like bubble gum. I want to kiss her again and again.

Yeah, I like kissing Tina. No, I love kissing Tina. Then she pushed herself up on my hard-on. I almost came like the story I told about my fifteen year old self losing my virginity.

…aaand you’re hard. Happy now?

Knowing she’d only ever been with the one guy and hasn’t been with him in five years. It made me feel good. Too good. Like, good that you shouldn’t feel about your friends good.

Goddamn it. I don’t know how it even happened. One minute we were laughing, the next I was pushing her up against the wall.

A sudden urge overcomes me.

I have to see her. I need to try and explain myself. I don’t know how I’m going to do that without explaining I’m getting some really strong feelings for her. And I know that’s not what she wants.#p#分页标题#e#

But what if she does want it?

If I knew Tina wanted to be with me, I’d snatch her up in a heartbeat. I got those kinds of feelings for her. The one feelings. I can’t believe it myself. The thought of her being with someone else makes acid burn my gut. I want to punch the wall just thinking about it.

What a mess.

All because of goofy wax lips. I smile at the memory. This adorable little woman being dragged into my office by Max, too shy to even look at me then declaring me her friend… So much has changed. Never met anyone like her in my life. So giving with her heart. I’ll do anything to protect that heart. I want it to be mine to protect.

I smile to myself.

Got to go see my girl.

***

I see Nik exit The White Rabbit and a chill sweeps through me as my hands start to sweat.

What if he tells me we can’t be friends anymore?

I would just die. Actually drop dead and die.

I knew he was in his office yesterday and if I really wanted to I know Max wouldn’t have stopped me from barging in and demanding he talk to me. But I wanted to respect his privacy. He didn’t want to see me for a reason.

This morning when I sent him a message asking to get sushi together I was hoping we could get on like nothing happened.

I know he regrets the most amazing kiss of my life. Which kind of sucks but having thought about it over the past two days, I’m okay with it. I was hoping Nik would be my one. I built him up so much in my mind I didn’t stop to protect myself from him. After all, look at how he treats Sissy? If he were to screw me and leave me, I’d be broken. I’ve been there before, it isn’t nice. I’m damaged goods because of it. It sucks to feel safe with someone and have them walk away like you’re nothing to them. That hurts. Like, really hurts. But I would’ve taken the risk with Nik.