Frailty: The Darkshine(49)
He turned a surprised look at Lucie, but she was already making her way through the crowd. He shook his head and wondered if he had actually heard her correctly. Lucie had always been a soft-spoken DarkShine female, never one to express her opinion. Had she realized how much he cared for Helina? Was she telling him to go after what he wanted?
He shook his head again, the hazy buzz of liquor making his thoughts jumbled. He must have imagined her saying that, his own mind creating the things he wanted to hear. He remembered how Ryce had taken Helina away, had put his hands on her. He had wanted to rip Ryce away from what was his… his female… his mate. It took a control he hadn’t known he possessed to not go to Ryce and tear him apart.
He got up, his movements uncoordinated as he made his way off the podium and toward his quarters. He smiled and said his pardons to the guests that tried to talk to him. He expected his mother to say something about his departure, but maybe since he had now chosen an acceptable mate, she didn’t care what he did. He was thankful nonetheless.
He walked up the stairs, stumbling over a few as he finally stopped in front of his bedroom door and gripped the doorknob. He shut the door behind him, his knees giving out, his body hitting the floor. He sat there, his whiskey bottle in hand as the darkness consumed him. He closed his eyes, his thoughts only on one thing, one person. He didn’t even try to hold in the painful tears that were at the brink of spilling. He’d let Helina down, turned her away when she was pleading with him to tell her how much he loved her.
He’d let her down.
He dropped his head, his half-empty bottle dropping to the floor, the amber liquid moving across the hardwood. He opened his eyes and watched the whiskey snake its way across the floor, the darkness of the room making it look like blood spilling.
“You play beautifully, Helina.”
She stopped crying and looked up to see Ryce leaning against the door frame. He still had his tux on, the first few top buttons undone on his crisp white shirt. She wiped her face and sat up straighter, a slight twinge of embarrassment flooding her. “Thank you.” There was a beat of silence and she cleared her throat. “To be honest, I’m pretty tired. Could you just take me back to the cabin?”
He pushed off the frame and walked toward her. He ran his fingers along the smooth top of the baby grand. “I can’t take you back there.”
She looked at him, not even shock resonating inside of her. Her mind was blank, her emotion stunted because of the deep, dark hole in her heart. “Why?”
“It really isn’t safe there anymore. Someone might want to take it upon themselves to dispose of you.”
“It really doesn’t matter anymore, Ryce. I have nothing left. My sister is dead and Gaijryc wants nothing to do with me.” She noticed how Ryce flinched.
“You know he didn’t mean any of those things he said.”
“It doesn’t matter if he meant them or not, Ryce. They were said and his intentions were clear. He only loved me for those stolen moments we had. It’s clear he doesn’t want me.” She shrugged and stood. “So where am I?” She walked away from the piano and sat on the leather couch, wanting nothing more than to get out of the dress she wore. Ryce walked over to the piano and sat down. He looked down at the keys for so long she wondered what he was thinking. He started to play a soft song, the music sounding tragic and beautiful.
When the song was done, he sat there in silence and turned his gaze to her. “That was beautiful. Who is the composer?”
He smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes. “I am.” He didn’t say it arrogantly, but more like his heart had been ripped from his chest. “I wrote it for someone a long time ago, someone who was very special to me.”
They stared at each other and Helina wanted to comfort him as he was doing to her. “Would you like to talk about it?” She didn’t elaborate on what she meant. It was clear from his expression that he knew.
He looked so torn, so hurt just thinking about it. She didn’t think anyone had ever given him the time to talk about his problems, to let go of the pain he was harboring inside. She pushed her pain aside, knowing that if one good thing could come out of it, it would be getting rid of past demons Ryce harbored. He looked at her and sighed.
“I have only spoken about this one other time.”
She smiled at him and urged him to open up to her.
“I loved a human once. She was the most important thing to me. Everything I did, I did it to please her, to let her know how much she meant to me. She had started out being a pet, a human female that I had wanted—wanted to drink from and wanted to fuck.” He stopped and looked at her, as if his crudeness had somehow offended her. She ushered him to continue. “I grew to love her, so very much. She was so gentle, so feminine. I wanted to mate her, wanted her to walk by my side for the rest of our lives. She ended up becoming pregnant. It was the happiest day of my existence. The thing is, though—” He took another deep breath and stood. “It is forbidden to mate a human. It is a death sentence if one has a child from us. It has been that way for as long as I have been living and I have never disputed the old ways. I had planned on running with her, planned on turning her before we found out she was pregnant, but it is far too dangerous changing her while she was carrying my child.”